AITA for being upset that my boyfriend compared my facial hair to him sh**ting his pants?

In a quiet living room, the hum of post-Covid normalcy fills the air as a couple chats about long-overdue haircuts. A 27-year-old woman, managing the challenges of PCOS, tosses out a playful remark about letting her facial hair grow, expecting a laugh. Instead, her boyfriend’s face twists in disgust, and he drops a bombshell, comparing her potential mustache to him “crapping his pants.” The words land like a punch, turning a light moment into a battleground of hurt feelings.

Stunned, she pushes back, calling out the cruel comparison, but he doubles down, dismissing her as “ridiculous” and claiming “all guys” would agree. The sting of his words lingers, amplified by her daily struggle with PCOS symptoms. Was she wrong to feel wounded by his insensitivity? This Reddit saga dives into the raw clash of body shaming, gender norms, and emotional vulnerability in a relationship.

‘AITA for being upset that my boyfriend compared my facial hair to him sh**ting his pants?’

My (27f) boyfriend (32) and I were discussing getting haircuts now Covid restrictions have been lifted slightly in our town. He made a joke about leaving his isolation beard a little longer and I joked that I should have let mine grow too. I have PCOS and facial hair can be a bit of a nightmare, nothing too dramatic but I could definitely grow a little moustache if I left it alone.

I've never really asked his opinion of my facial hair before, he's aware I remove it but beyond that I've never thought to ask but he looked so disgusted when I said that, it shocked me a little. He told me that it would be really gross if I'd just let it grow and I wouldn't like it if he started crapping his pants or not showering for a month... which, I just don't think is even comparable?

It's totally fine to not want a girlfriend with a hairy face, I don't even want to have a hairy face! I have no intention of leaving it to grow but that's my choice and it's certainly not the same as what he compared it to.

I got mad and told him to consider how it sounds to hear that he thinks shitting his pants is the same as me just letting hair grow on my face. He told me I was being ridiculous for getting upset over his reaction and that all guys would feel that way.. So AITA for being mad about this?

The boyfriend’s comparison of facial hair to a hygiene failure was a cruel jab, especially given her PCOS. Endocrinologist Dr. Andrea Dunaif notes, “PCOS can cause significant emotional distress due to visible symptoms like hirsutism” . His dismissal of her reaction as “ridiculous” ignores the vulnerability tied to her condition, deepening the wound.

This reflects a broader issue: body shaming in relationships. A 2022 Journal of Women’s Health study found 54% of women with PCOS report feeling judged for physical symptoms . His claim that “all guys” would agree perpetuates gendered stereotypes, undermining her autonomy and feelings. Dr. Dunaif emphasizes empathetic communication for couples navigating chronic conditions. The boyfriend could educate himself on PCOS  to foster understanding.

For solutions, the woman might calmly explain how PCOS affects her emotionally, setting firm boundaries against hurtful remarks. Couples counseling could help them rebuild respect. She deserves a partner who supports her, not one who mocks her body.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit rallied behind the woman, torching the boyfriend’s insensitive remark with a blend of outrage and support. From slamming his sexism to uplifting her self-worth, here’s what they said:

punk_and_bi - NTA. And as someone with PCOS, dump his ass. You need a bf who can support you through all of your symptoms because other things may pop up down the line and he has just demonstrated that he cares more about what he finds attractive than actually caring for you and your body as it is.

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FabulousNightMonkey - NTA. What? Any man who will compare female facial hair to literal s**t is incredibly sexist. The hair that grows on women’s faces is no different from the stuff on men’s faces. Also, studies have shown that men’s beards harbor more bacteria than dog fur so his facial hair is the one that is objectively disgusting.

[Reddit User] - NTA Those aren't even comparable...wtf. Hair isn't even dirty. S**tty his pants is not comparable to your hair, but him shitting himself is quite comparable to his attitude about your condition.

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shellevanczik - NTA!!! PCOS here too. That response of his was completely uncalled for and hurtful.

[Reddit User] - NTA It sounds like he considers facial hair on women to be unhygienic, which definitely isn't correct or nice of him, but I think that's what he was trying to express.. Definitely still a very rude thing for him to say though

crazydaizes - NTA. It takes some vulnerability for woman to talk about that. Plus no one enjoys when there partner points out that their looks have a factor in the relationship.

[Reddit User] - Nta. He's a misogynistic despicable THRITYTWO YEAR OLD man that bodyshamed you and belittles you.. And you stay?

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ForeverHaunting - NTA! Not at all! It was awful of him to compare facial hair to something like that. I know it was just a joke, but it’s your body and you should get to decide what you do with it, so if you had decided to let it grow, it is in no way comparable to not showering or shitting yourself.

As someone who loves you, he should accept that it’s part of who you are and grow up. It shouldn’t matter what you look like. Besides, hair isn’t dirty, it’s not a matter of bad hygiene like not showering or shitting yourself would be.. Damn. I’m so sorry he reacted like that.

randomchicadee - NTA. I have PCOS, and could be mistaken for a bear. I am actually loving the mask requirements because it means I can leave the house without shaving. I got drunk one night and texted to my bf that facial hair my deepest most shameful secret. He rolled his eyes and told me to stop being an i**ot. He loves me, he don’t give a s**t. Life is too short to be with someone who makes you feel bad.

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unsaferaisin - NTA. A natural bodily feature is not the same as these things in any way. Nor is your boyfriend's infantile attitude normal. Is he normally like this? Do you feel disrespected or less-than frequently? I'm getting major yikes vibes from this and I really hope it's not typical behavior from him.

These Reddit roasts highlight the boyfriend’s blunder, but do they oversimplify the path to resolving relationship conflicts?

This story reveals how a thoughtless comment can cut deep, especially when tied to a condition like PCOS. The woman’s anger was justified—her body isn’t a punchline. The boyfriend’s dismissal only widened the rift. How would you handle a partner’s hurtful words about your body? Drop your thoughts below!

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