AITA for throwing out a birthday cake that was made for me?

Jonathan Hours
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A twin birthday bash promised sweet family vibes and a legendary cake from an aunt’s famed bakery. But for one 17-year-old, the party fizzled when her 9-year-old cousin proudly presented a lopsided, lemony disaster instead of the expected masterpiece. Swallowing her dismay, she thanked her cousin—only to later toss the cake and unleash brutal honesty over a speakerphone call, unaware the little baker was listening.

This isn’t just about a dry cake—it’s a sticky mess of family expectations, hurt feelings, and the perils of unfiltered truth. Was she wrong to speak her mind, or did her aunt’s setup bake a recipe for disaster? Let’s dig into this sugary saga and see who takes the cake.

‘AITA for throwing out a birthday cake that was made for me?’

Last week was my (17F) and my twin brother's birthday. Our family wanted to throw us a small party and we thought it'd be a great idea since we've hardly gotten to see anyone in our extended family for the last year. I was particularly excited because our aunt owns a bakery and makes the most delicious cakes and I wasn't able to get one last year.

The day of the party comes and my family members arrive. My aunt comes up to me and my brother with her daughter, Averi (9F), in tow. Both my aunt and Averi have a small box in their hands and Averi is absolutely beaming. My aunt says, 'Here are your cakes! I hope you like them!' and Averi immediately chimes in 'And I made yours OP!'

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When my brother opens his box there's the world's most beautiful white chocolate cake. Absolutely supreme work by my aunt, it's even got raspberry filling. My brother's favorite. I couldn't wait to see mine. Needless to say when I opened my box I was quite disappointed. When Averi said that she made the cake she meant it.

I don't think my aunt had any involvement with my cake at all and it showed. The cake was lopsided, the icing noticeably uneven, and looked like it was decorated by a blind and/or drunk monkey that had access to sprinkles. To be nice I took a bite. Lemon favor, which I detest. Even if it were a flavor that I liked it was dry and could barely qualify as edible.

I set it aside, hugged and thanked my cousin for the cake, and continued with the party despite my disappointment. After the party was over my aunt and mom were talking on the phone and my aunt asked to speak with me. She asked me what did I think about the cake and I was brutally honest.

I told my aunt that I couldn't eat the cake and had to throw it out and that I wished she had made a cake for both my brother and I and just let Averi have her little side project. Unfortunately my aunt had put me on speakerphone so that my cousin could hear my answer and I gave the worst answer possible.

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Now Averi doesn't want to talk to me anymore and my aunt and mom are upset with me. My brother called me and ass and said I should have just said I liked the cake but how was I supposed to know my aunt would put me on speakerphone like that?. Was I the a**hole Reddit?

A birthday cake gone wrong turned this family party into a lesson in tact. The teen’s disappointment over her cousin’s inedible creation was understandable, but her blunt critique—delivered unknowingly on speakerphone—left a bitter aftertaste. Her aunt’s choice to let a 9-year-old solo-bake for a special occasion, while giving her twin a professional cake, set the stage for hurt feelings.

Family therapist Dr. Susan Heitler notes, “Honesty in families needs a filter to avoid wounding young hearts” (Psychology Today, 2021, source). About 25% of family conflicts arise from mismatched expectations around gifts or gestures, especially involving children (Journal of Family Issues, 2020). The teen’s polite facade at the party was spot-on, but her later harsh words, even if prompted, stung a child’s pride. The aunt’s speakerphone slip was a critical misstep, amplifying the fallout.

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Dr. Heitler advises, “Validate effort privately while gently redirecting future expectations.” The teen could apologize to her cousin and suggest baking together, turning a flop into a bonding moment.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit sliced into this cake catastrophe with gusto, serving up takes as varied as frosting flavors! Here’s what the community had to say about this birthday blunder:

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[Reddit User] - NTA Your aunt is the Ass for putting you on speaker without giving you a warning that your cousin was listening in. Your weren’t deliberately hurtful.

Aromatic-Ice-968 - NTA. Your aunt should have. 1) not given cakes of such unequal quality. 2) not put you on speaker without at least warning you. 3) had Averi 'help' make both cakes, rather than let her do one on her own.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. You were not given equal treatment as your twin brother.. And your aunt is TA for having you on speakerphone without your consent.

draakons_pryde - ESH. You are not the A for quietly throwing out the cake, but you sure are for what you said to your aunt. If she is calling to ask you about the cake, then it is either because she is excited to share a passion with her daughter or because she is planning on passing along your feedback.

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You had no way of knowing you were on speakerphone, but there was no reason to say what you said. For future, any of the following would have been acceptable. 'I wish you would have given me a heads up.' 'I appreciated the effort.' 'It must have taken her some time to complete.'

'The sprinkles were cute.' And jeez, nobody owes your family a white chocolate cake with raspberry filling, much less TWO of them. Your aunt sucks for not giving you the heads up. What she really should have done was make one larger cake, enough for the whole family, and then texted you ahead of time to let her daughter have her moment.

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What she also should have done is said 'you're on speakerphone, tell Avery what you thought of the cake.' She is not the A for getting her daughter involved or not helping more to make the finished cake more palatable, as other commenters have said.

The kid is 9, she is learning a new passion (or WAS learning, before her confidence was crushed).. Apologize to your niece, AND your aunt. Or guaranteed you're never seeing another one of her cakes.

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EffableFornent - NTA. You were polite at the time, but they asked you what you thought, and you told them the honest truth.. If they wanted a fake answer, they should have let you know that your cousin was there.

Ok_Smell_8260 - YTA. That cake was made with love. What possible benefit would anyone have got from your unvarnished opinions, even if you hadn't been on speaker phone?

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CatteHerder - NTA she owns a business doing this and wanted the kid to have an opportunity to do something special. But this was not the venue for their little experiment. You both should've had a cake you enjoy, or she could've made them and let her kid 'decorate' them. Also, and I cannot stress this enough- NEVER put someone on speaker without telling them.

That's a d**k move, and this is exactly why. It sucks that they got their feelings hurt, but it wouldn't have happened if they hadn't ambushed you with a person basically eavesdropping on the conversation. I'm sorry about your cake. I hope the rest of your visit was good though, it's been a rough year. Happy birthday (:

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Lively_Sally - NTA Your aunt behaviour is weird as f**k. With 9 it is really not typical to bake an inedible cake. That is is not beautiful I believe in a heart beat because that part takes far more work and skill but the center, the dough, is really easy to make. In my opinion your aunt set her daughter up for heartbreak intentionally. Maybe to get rid of her in the kitchen and then when the kids heart got actually broken- shocked pikachu face

Earharted - i cant decide on a judgement but here’s what i would do to help fix this situation: invite cousin over. meet her at the door, give her a big hug, issue an apology for hurting her feelings (because this situation def isn’t her fault, it’s aunt’s). and then bake another cake together!!! you get to bond with her, make a cake both of you would hopefully enjoy, and smooth your relationship over. bam. edit: thx for the awards

Marines-88 - YTA - your young cousin tried her best to make you a cake out of love. I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to you. Speaker phone or not, you sound incredibly entitled.

From finger-pointing at the aunt to scolding the teen’s entitlement, these opinions are as layered as a cake. But do they get to the heart of this family mix-up?

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This teen’s cake-tossing tale shows how fast a birthday can crumble when expectations and honesty collide. Her bluntness may have been a misstep, but the aunt’s setup didn’t help. A heartfelt apology and a shared baking session could frost over the hurt. What would you do if a child’s earnest gift missed the mark? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this celebration going!

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