Aita For Throwing An Insult At A Girl Who Has Made Fun Of Me For Years?

The sun blazed over a sprawling backyard pool, laughter echoing as a tight-knit group of high school friends splashed and bantered. Amid the carefree vibes, a quiet 17-year-old, let’s call him Ethan, felt a familiar sting. For years, one girl in the crew—Helga—had zeroed in on his body hair, tossing barbed comments like confetti. Her latest jab at a pool party, rallying others to “vote” on his appearance, pushed Ethan past his limit. In a flash of frustration, he fired back, and the ripples of that moment split their friend group like a cracked mirror.

Ethan’s story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, isn’t just a teen spat—it’s a raw snapshot of how body-shaming cuts deep, no matter who’s on the receiving end. The fallout, tears, and heated debates among friends raise a question: where’s the line between standing up and stooping low? This tale hooks us with its messy, relatable drama, inviting us to dive into the tension.

‘Aita for throwing an insult at a girl who has made fun of me for years?’

I’m 17 M, and in high school. My closest friends are this group of 4 guys, and we have an equally close group of girls that we hangout with all the time. One of my friends is actually dating one of the girls and has been for 3 years. So we have always hung out with both our groups together since that.

I’ll call the girl in question Helga. Helga f**king sucks, but has been my buddy’s girlfriend’s best friend since they were like 4 so that’s why she’s in the group and not really going anywhere. She’s kinda snobby to everyone, but her family is f**king loaded. Like f**k you money. She is also quite a bit bigger than the other girls in the group.

I am kind of a quiet guy and definitely not the loudest out of our friends. I also don’t mean to sound pathetic, but I get the least girls out of all the guys in the group and I’m not an ugly duckling, but I’m not gonna say I’m a stud. Maybe she picks up on this and this is why she kinda teases me, so she knows Atleast someone feels worse than she does.

Now, for some reason I have like a lot of chest and stomach hair. Idk why but it’s just how it is. I don’t really care and neither does anyone else. But this is a big thing helga likes to make fun of me about. She says things about how I get no girls because no high school girl wants a guy with a hairy chest.

Or how I look like a dad and stuff, it kinda sucks hearing but I try to tune it out. The other day we were all swimming at Helgas and once again she made a comment about my hair. Trying to get all the girls to “vote” that I need to shave, because she thinks it’s kinda n**ty to look at. I wasn’t having it and clapped back saying that:

“ Idk why you can’t just keep your opinions to herself. I said I’m sure a lot of people are thinking you shouldn’t be wearing bikinis, but nobody says it. Because it’s not nice.” She cried, I got kicked out, and now there’s a fight in the group.

Guys think I was right to stand up for myself after all her bs. Girls are mad because “it doesn’t matter how mean she is, you don’t insult a woman’s body”. Than why can she insult mine? Lol idk. Aita ?

Ethan’s clash with Helga feels like a classic high school showdown, but it’s layered with a universal issue: body-shaming. Both teens crossed lines, yet their actions reflect deeper insecurities. Helga’s relentless teasing likely stems from her own self-consciousness, while Ethan’s retort shows how bottled-up hurt can explode. The double standard—girls defending Helga while dismissing Ethan’s feelings—highlights a cultural blind spot.

Body image struggles don’t discriminate by gender. A 2019 study from the Journal of Adolescent Health found that 33% of teen boys reported body dissatisfaction, often tied to traits like body hair or weight. Helga’s jabs at Ethan’s appearance hit a nerve that’s all too common. Meanwhile, Ethan’s comment about her bikini wasn’t kind, but it mirrored her cruelty, exposing the cycle of hurt.

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Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist and author, notes in a New York Times article on teen bullying: “When kids feel attacked, they often lash out to regain control, but it rarely resolves the root issue.” Ethan’s clapback gave Helga a taste of her own medicine, but it also escalated the drama. Both need to learn healthier ways to address insecurities—Helga by curbing her snark, Ethan by setting boundaries sooner.

The bigger issue here is how society normalizes body-shaming under the guise of “teasing.” Schools and parents can help by fostering open talks about self-esteem. For Ethan, a calm but firm call-out, like, “I don’t appreciate your comments,” might have shut Helga down without the fallout.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of cheers and shade. Here’s what they had to say about Ethan’s poolside saga:

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phdoofus − NTA. Your friends have your back and the girls are hypocrites. Where was their concern about body shaming when you were the target? Everyone learned a lesson today.

ThuviaofMars − NTA. She asked for it.

Igran3241 − NTA she was the one who initiated and you just reciprocated.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You’ve been putting up with her commenting and teasing you about your body for quite a while it seems and hadn’t said a thing, so commenting that while she may find your hair unattractive, you find her in a bikini less than attractive,

but you hadn’t said anything because it’s rude, is exactly how things should be handled. Men can, and often do, have just as many body image issues as women, but get very little support for it. Good for you for standing up for yourself

BroadElderberry − NTA. You did have the right to stand up for yourself. And you didn't *just* retaliate, you showed her how it feels for someone to talk about your body negatively, and you pointed out that it's not nice to do so. I call that forced empathy.

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The idea that only women shouldn't be body-shamed is so stupid. It's s**t like that that makes it so hard for men to be diagnosed with and treated for eating disorders.. And just FYI, there's nothing wrong with being hairy. Plenty of girls like that because it's soft and cuddly.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Not much more to do if she continues even when you tell her to stop. F**k being the bigger person, that's her job.

Ibenthinkin2much − Winston Churchill to Lady Aster...'I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.' . NTA

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LAClippersFan2018 − ESH. Social distance

TrueCoreKing − NTA. I know there are going to be ESHs but she needed to learn a lesson. I have slight doubts and would have without a doubt say NTA, if you had told her to stop before, but as far as I know you haven't, however she's been going at you for a while, my mum always said 'if you can't take a punch don't throw one.' you get what you dish out, she shouldn't be insulting people if she doesn't want to hear insults towards her.

Anikanje − NTA. I am a mum and my daughter was in a class with this very popular big girl. My daughter dated a girl that use to be the popular girl's best friend. The popular girl did not want her ex-bestie to have any friends and that resulted in her bullying my daughter. She kept on calling my daughter a s**t, etc.

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My daughter is pretty innocent, we tried to make sure our kids don't have to deal with certain things too early and we try to make sure that they know even if we get mad at something they have done we have their backs. Anyway back to calling my daughter a s**t, it must have been the straw that broke the camel's back because she straight up told her she is fat and should keep her mouth shut.

Popular girls retort was that she wasn't talking about weight how dare my daughter pick on something she knew the girl was self-conscious about. What a load of crap, if you want to bully or tease someone there are no rules. Now I am a fat woman who has been teased about being fat and hated/s it.

But if I start picking on someone over anything they have the right to fight back with whatever ammo they have. You are not the a$$hole, the girl needs to know all is fair in love and war. Don't dish what you don't want to be served.

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And if she pulls the crap that she is girl and girls feel self-conscious about these things, tough titties - men feel self-conscious about things too, men have body issues too. P.S. men with hair is not a turn off for all woman, my husband is super hairy but I would not choose anyone else. He is a man among men with strong values and honor, that is what matters.

These Redditors rallied behind Ethan, calling out Helga’s hypocrisy and the girls’ double standards. Some saw his retort as poetic justice; others urged him to keep his cool next time. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just tossing fuel on the drama?

Ethan’s tale is a messy reminder that body-shaming isn’t just a “girl problem”—it hits everyone hard. His clapback at Helga sparked a friend-group feud, but it also cracked open a convo about fairness and respect. While his words stung, they echoed years of swallowed frustration. The real lesson? Words cut deep, and breaking that cycle starts with calling out cruelty early. What would you do if you were in Ethan’s shoes? Share your take in the comments!

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