AITA for throwing a $100 bill at my sister during my brother’s memorial dinner and then leaving in the middle?

The dining room, meant to be a sanctuary for shared memories, turned into a battleground of grief and frustration. A woman, mourning her brother’s sudden passing, planned a heartfelt memorial dinner, only to see it derailed by her sister’s relentless complaints about a $100 bill for takeout. The sting of loss, already raw, was overshadowed by petty squabbles, pushing her to a breaking point where a single act—tossing money across the table—spoke louder than words.

This Reddit story captures the raw edge of grief tangled with family tension, pulling readers into a moment where love and anger collide. The woman’s dramatic exit, followed by her sister’s threats to cut ties, paints a vivid scene of a family struggling to honor a loved one amidst clashing egos. It’s a tale that hooks with its emotional intensity, inviting us to explore the messy aftermath of loss.

‘AITA for throwing a $100 bill at my sister during my brother’s memorial dinner and then leaving in the middle?’

My 35 year old brother passed away last Saturday. He was a year younger than me and we were always confused for twins. Our parents got a divorce as teens and my brother and I stayed with my dad, and my sister (39) moved with my mom. Our dad is not her bio dad but he did adopt her, but she wanted to go with mom so he ultimately agreed.

She never came around to visit, did her own thing. When my brother’s obit came out, she screamed at my parents because my name and my daughter’s name were listed before her name and her kids’ names. Then, I told everyone I wanted to cook a nice family memorial dinner,

but she insisted she would buy macaroni grill instead because it was our favorite family restaurant as kids. I agreed and said it was okay. So she calls my dad again and complains that she didn’t know the dinner would be $100 (she’s loaded btw) and asked my dad to pay for it.

He agreed, because he just likes to keep the peace. She then says no it’s fine I got it and hangs up. She shows up with the food hours after dinner was scheduled, and immediately complains about the price again. She complained throughout half the dinner that was supposed to be remembering my brother.

So halfway is as far as I got. I got up from the table got a $100 bill out of my purse, threw it at her, had some choice words, and then I stormed off and left. I ended up coming back to my dad’s house later to apologize for doing that.

They were upset but ultimately forgave me. My sister has been relentlessly blowing up my phone and my parents’ phones about how I’m such a b**ch and I ruined dinner and that I owe her an apology or she won’t let me see my nieces and nephews.. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

Grief can turn family gatherings into emotional minefields, as this woman’s story shows. Her sister’s fixation on the $100 cost of the memorial dinner, instead of honoring their late brother, turned a moment of shared mourning into a stage for personal grievances. The woman’s outburst—throwing money and leaving—reflects the overwhelming strain of loss, amplified by her sister’s insensitivity.

Family conflicts during grief are common. A 2020 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 55% of families experience heightened tension after a loved one’s death, often due to misaligned coping styles. The sister’s complaints, possibly a misguided attempt to assert control, clashed with the woman’s need for a meaningful tribute, escalating tensions.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a grief counselor, notes, “Grief shared is grief diminished, but unresolved conflicts can deepen the pain”. Here, the sister’s focus on money sidelined the collective mourning, triggering the woman’s reaction. Both sisters may be grieving, but their approaches—control versus expression—clashed.

To move forward, the woman could initiate a calm conversation, acknowledging shared grief while addressing the dinner’s disruption. Blocking her sister risks further estrangement, but boundaries are key.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a platter of support and sharp takes on this memorial dinner meltdown. Here’s a peek at the community’s fiery reactions, as bold as a family argument:

massivebookworm84 − NTA. The dinner was supposed to be for remembering your brother and she made it about herself. I'm sorry for your loss by the way, losing a family member, especially one as close as a brother hurts like hell.

[Reddit User] − NTA.. Your sister sounds n**ty and self-absorbed.

spindacinda − NTA. Your sister sounds atrocious and sometimes keeping the peace just isn't an option.

ADVERTISEMENT

GentlemanDeeds − NTA - Death is stressful for everyone involved. Your sister has not been around, didn’t help out hardly yet demands to pay for dinner but then backs out only to pay for dinner anyway. Then at dinner commands the floor about trivial things. She clearly has the attitude of a child.

Toxicity comes in many forms and sometimes in order to check it, there needs to be words that aren’t usually said. It appears to be the case here. I’m sorry you and your family have to grieve and I’m sure your sister is grieving a bit herself in her own way but that doesn’t excuse the way she is acting.

It’s unfortunate that her pride isn’t going to allow her to see what she did wrong. How bad do you want to see your nieces and nephews? Don’t be like her, don’t let your pride keep you from family that you know you care about. You only have to apologize once. That doesn’t mean you have to talk to her ever again (other than visiting till they are old enough to make their own decisions).

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA is your family trying to say your behavior was upsetting but your sister's was perfectly fine???. Sorry for your loss.

thatdudewayoverthere − I want to introduce you to my good friend the scissor It can be used to cut people out of your life and honestly for me this would be enough of a reason but obviously I don't know you enough to tell you something like that. Just if it wasn't clear NTA

Femmefatele − NTA. Instead of a nice memorial dinner remembering your beloved brother you got a memorial for the lost $100 spent on a dinner that only she wanted. Don't cave for peace. You are so much better if you block her out of your life.

ADVERTISEMENT

polishmattsgirl − I’m sorry for your loss ♥️. NTA. On the petty side, I would’ve loved to have seen her face when you tossed the $100 at her.

Jc_taylor − NTA. I’m really sorry for your loss.. I’m also sorry that your sister was so distasteful and awful. You do not owe her an apology.

[Reddit User] − My brother and I left our mothers memorial early because the rest of the family wouldn’t stop talking about themselves. We got a lot of flack for that, especially from our older sister, but it was worth it to mourn together over a blunt instead of staying there with all those self centered cretins. NTA, OP. People who act like this after someone dies are just terrible.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit hot takes cut deep, but do they overlook the sister’s own grief? Is she selfish, or just coping poorly? The debate sizzles on.

This story lays bare the raw pain of loss and the family fractures it can expose. The woman’s $100 toss and stormy exit were a cry against her sister’s insensitivity, but they also highlight how grief can unravel even the tightest bonds. It leaves us wondering: how do you honor a loved one when family drama steals the moment? Share your thoughts—what would you do if a memorial for someone dear turned into a battleground?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *