AITA for thinking that me and my boyfriend shouldn’t be forced to watch my roommate’s girlfriend’s kids?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a shared apartment filled with the roll of dice from a Dungeons & Dragons game, a couple’s evening took an unexpected turn. Their roommate, eager to impress a potential girlfriend, left her kids and a known thief under their care while he worked, breaking prior boundaries. The situation escalated into a heated confrontation.

The fallout left the couple questioning their stance as the roommate labeled it a “pack” duty. On June 12, 2025, the tension lingers, prompting reflection on whether their refusal to watch the kids was justified or overly harsh.

‘AITA for thinking that me and my boyfriend shouldn’t be forced to watch my roommate’s girlfriend’s kids?’

Let me give you a little context. Technically, the woman isn't even his girlfriend. He is trying to get with her, so he is doing everything he can to show her how much of a good guy he is. So, me, my boyfriend, and his kids were all playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Roommate's girlfriend comes over with her kids and some guy that we had over for Christmas dinner to do laundry. (The guy that she brought over tried to steal stuff out of the bathroom on Christmas and the girlfriend was told not to bring him back.)

After she got the laundry started, she left to go run errands and left the kids with our roommate. Fine, he's watching the kids. We continue our game. So, she comes back, does some more laundry and then leaves the kids and the thief there for our roommate to watch. We still continue our game.

A few hours later, my boyfriend's son's cousins come over because one of them had a birthday a few days ago and wanted to have cake and pizza with the boys. Cool! After a little while, I start getting a little tired, so I go into the bedroom to lay down.

After a little bit, I come out of the room to find not only has our roommate left for work, but the girlfriend has not come to pick up the kids our the thief. So our roommate just left us with two kids and some guy that he was supposed to be watching. That was the final straw.

Fast forward to my roommate coming home from work. I waited up for him so I could rip him a new one. I was waiting outside when he pulled into the driveway. He walked up to the porch and I stopped him and told him the next time his girlfriend needs you to watch her kids and you have to work

you either tell her she needs to be back to pick up her kids at a certain time or he needs to do the parent thing and call his job and tell them that he is going to be late. Me and my boyfriend should not have had to be forced to watch the kids.

He got mad and asked me what my problem was. I told him that he may like being taken advantage of, but me and my boyfriend did not. Then he stormed off and I went inside and went to bed. He hasn't spoken to me since.

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Has told our other roommates that I am being unreasonable and that we our a pack and should help each other out without having to be asked.. AITA or am I right in thinking that his girlfriend's kids are not our problem?

Personal boundaries are crucial in shared living, especially when responsibilities are imposed. The couple’s refusal to watch the kids aligns with Dr. Henry Cloud’s principle that “boundaries protect your autonomy from others’ demands” . The roommate’s abandonment shifted a personal favor into an unfair burden.

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The girlfriend’s casual drop-off, especially with a thief, raises safety concerns, supported by a 2023 Journal of Family Issues study on trust in cohabitation . The roommate’s “pack” argument lacks merit without prior consent, making the couple’s stance reasonable.

Dr. Cloud advises clear communication to enforce limits. The confrontation was direct but could have included a calmer warning about future police involvement. The guilt felt is natural but doesn’t undermine their right to say no.

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For the couple, setting firm rules with the roommate could prevent repeats. For others, mutual agreement on shared duties avoids such conflicts. Their boundary defends their space.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s community supports the couple, calling them NTA for refusing to babysit uninvited kids and a thief. They criticize the roommate’s irresponsibility, urging legal action if it recurs. The consensus agrees it’s not their duty, with some suggesting the roommate face the girlfriend’s wrath. Most see the “pack” claim as invalid, backing the couple’s stance.

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wind-river7 − NTA. Let roommate know that you will call the police for child abandonment if they try that stunt again.

dusktildawn9 − NTA - I personally would have called the cops saying that this woman left her kids here.

TopaztheBigBoss − NTA. You are not 'a pack'. You are roommates. You owe this woman nothing.

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Affectionate-Meat-98 − Nta. No one has the right to abandon their children on your property (or their girlfriend’s children for that matter) But your roommate especially definitely doesn’t have a right to abandon children of some girl he’s trying to bang there under any circumstance

FervidusThespis − NTA And if it happens again, call the police and let them know that she left her kids at your house and left without you knowing, and you need someone to find her because you aren’t responsible for her children and weren’t asked about watching them.

HowardProject − NTA - He offered to watch his girlfriend's kids then he is responsible for watching his girlfriend's kids. And as far as the dude who stole s**t goes that person should not be allowed in the apartment - period.

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germanfinder − So the roommate is trying to get with a girl, and the girl is hanging out with a different guy and the roommates house?. LOL good luck to that roommate.. Side note, NTA they whack

kellyoohh − NTA but this is a crazy convoluted scenario all around. Are there really that many people in and out of your house on a regular basis? Are you in NZ where the pandemic is not a thing? I don’t understand how this all even happened in the first place with thieves and cousins and kids all around.

Xrath02 − NTA You should tell her that he abandoned her kids. That's should solve the problem since she hopefully wouldn't risk leaving her kids there again. Since he's being an AH just go around him and nip this in the bud.

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erleichda29 − None of you have heard we're in a pandemic?

As the dice settle, this tale underscores the need for clear roommate rules. It’s a timely lesson in saying no. How do you handle unwanted duties in shared spaces? Share your stories below—let’s keep the chat alive!

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