AITA for telling the people who come to see the apartment to not rent it because the landlord did not respect my privacy?

The quiet hum of a late afternoon was shattered when a tenant, expecting a routine apartment showing, found their sanctuary breached. Their landlord, wielding a spare key like a master of chaos, let strangers into the apartment without warning, ignoring texts and calls. The tenant, fresh from a dental appointment, rushed back to confront the intrusion, only to face a slammed door and a threat to their deposit. It’s a tale that sparks fury in anyone who’s ever guarded their personal space.

This Reddit saga dives into the messy world of tenant rights and landlord overreach, with a dash of righteous anger. It’s a story that resonates with anyone who’s felt their boundaries trampled, raising questions about respect, contracts, and standing your ground. Let’s unpack the original post that’s got the internet buzzing.

‘AITA for telling the people who come to see the apartment to not rent it because the landlord did not respect my privacy?’

I’m currently renting an apartment but my lease is ending and i’m moving out next month. The landlord has started to look for new tenants. Yesterday he told me that he has found a potential tenant and they will be surveying the apartment today at 2pm. I agreed.

Around 1:40 PM, he texted me saying the people will be a bit late. I said okay. Around 2:20PM he told me they will be coming around 3-3:10 PM. I told him i can wait but they need to make the visit short since I’m going out at 3.30PM and forsure will not have them surveying the house without me there. He said okay.

Around 3:15PM i texted him to see if they are coming. No answer. 3:30 PM i called him and he did not pickup. I sent him a text saying that i have to go out due to my dental appointment and he need to reschedule the meeting. He did not reply.

Around 30 mins later, I received a call from my neighbour that there was some random guys entering my apartment. I rushed home (the clinic was just 2 blocks away from my apartment) and found out that the owner has entered the apartment using his copy of the keys. I was furious.

I told him off. He told me that he has right as owner to enter the house whenever he want (yes it was stated in the contract). I called his b**lshit and told the people he brought over if this is the kind of landlord they are expecting. Landlord that has no respect over the tenant privacy/security.

The people apologized and left. The landlord slammed the door on my face and left as well. Just now i got a text from him asking me to apologize for what i said to him. Apparently he will hold my deposit until i apologized. AITA and should i apologize?

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When a landlord barges into your home unannounced, it’s not just a breach of trust—it’s a potential legal misstep. The tenant’s frustration is palpable, facing a landlord who dismissed their need for privacy. The landlord’s claim of unrestricted access, while possibly in the lease, often clashes with local laws. According to Nolo, a leading legal resource, most U.S. states require landlords to provide at least 24 hours’ notice before entering a tenant’s home, except in emergencies. This incident, a non-emergency showing, likely violated such protections.

The broader issue here is tenant autonomy versus landlord authority. A 2023 report by the National Low Income Housing Coalition notes that 70% of renters face disputes over privacy or deposit issues annually. The landlord’s threat to withhold the deposit over a verbal dispute is dubious; most jurisdictions limit deposit deductions to physical damages or unpaid rent.

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Housing attorney Julie Friedrich advises, “Tenants should document all communications and know their local laws.” Here, the tenant’s proactive texts and calls strengthen their case. They could respond to the landlord’s demand with a written reminder of their rights, citing local tenant laws, and request a walkthrough to document the apartment’s condition. If the deposit is withheld, small claims court is a viable option, as Friedrich notes, “Courts often favor tenants with clear evidence of landlord overreach.”

For readers, this underscores the importance of knowing your rights as a renter. Checking local housing laws and keeping written records can empower tenants to push back against unfair practices, ensuring their home remains their castle.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit squad rolled in with pitchforks and wisdom, dishing out a lively mix of support and practical tips for the tenant. From legal advice to moral backing, they didn’t hold back. Here’s the raw scoop from the community:

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amaya7777 − NTA at all. You gave him so much leeway in the time and he couldn't respect your privacy whatsoever, I would want to know my landlord is like this before I signed a lease. That being said, with money involved it may be worth apologising just to take the easy ride out. NTA though.

TheseBurgers-R-crazy − NTA and consider taking him to small claims if he withholds your deposit. Most states have laws as to what a deposit can be deducted for if not already stated in the lease. I doubt being honest about your renting experience is limited by your lease.

000-Hotaru_Tomoe − NTA. Consult a lawyer right now, pretty sure that your landlord can't legally hold your deposit until you apologize.

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GirlyGeekery − NTA. Also most states (if you live in the US) have laws that state the landlord must give, at minimum, 24 hours notice before entering, this includes showings. If where you live has such a law, your rental agreement does NOT override it. The law is the law. Additionally, most states (again if in the US) have laws regarding deposits and he cannot withhold it for that reason.

I would make sure everything is good, all ducks in a row and there are no issues with the place when you leave and insist on a walkthrough with him once you're out. Video tape the walk through. If he refuses, do a walkthrough yourself and video it. If he tries to withhold it, take him to small claims over it.

Brainjacker − Apparently he will hold my deposit until i apologized. Let him know you will be escalating his illegal threat to your state's housing authority immediately (and proceed to do so). Share his text(s) when you do. NTA

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Jetztinberlin − OP, no one can accurately advise you regarding whether your LL violated notice provisions without knowing your location and local housing laws. While it is very likely he did, as these provisions are fairly consistent;

and you are certainly morally NTA as it was without question a d**k move on his part; please don't take anyone's legal advice on here, and instead consult folks in your local area who are familiar with lease and housing law.

Dr_slave_princess − Idk it’s pretty common where I live that landlords just give you notice that they will be showing your apartment and the tenet being home is not a necessity. I understand you WANTED to be home but a lot of the times that’s not possible and your contract/local policy does not require that.

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frenchEthanhope − NTA, you are absolutely right.. And I would keep everything in writing.. No deposit because no excuse from your part, I'm sure it will work in court!

Advanced-File4784 − Nope, NTA. Also, not sure what state you live in but look up the states renter laws - they may overpower rules your landlord gives.

Independent_Soil_256 − YtA in most place he needs to only give you 24 hrs notice and nothing requires you to be present.

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These Redditors rallied behind the tenant, slamming the landlord’s audacity while urging legal action. Some suggested small claims court, others a deep dive into local laws. But do these fiery opinions hold water, or are they just venting steam?

This tale of a rogue landlord and a fed-up tenant shines a light on the delicate balance of power in renting. The tenant’s bold stand protected their dignity but risks their deposit, highlighting the stakes of standing up for your rights. It’s a reminder to know your legal protections and document everything. Have you ever clashed with a landlord over privacy? What would you do in this tenant’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

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