AITA for telling the flight attendant to ask the woman in front of me to raise her seat up because it was pressing on my legs?

High above the clouds, a 6’5″ man shifts uncomfortably in a cramped coach seat, his knees wedged against the reclined seat ahead. On this three-hour flight, every movement sends a jolt of discomfort through his long legs, his tray table rendered useless. What should have been a routine trip becomes a test of patience and politeness when the woman in front refuses his gentle request to adjust her seat.

This Reddit AITA post captures a relatable clash of personal comfort and shared space in the sardine-can reality of economy class. The man’s struggle, met with a blunt refusal and a hissed insult, stirs a broader conversation about airplane etiquette. It’s a story that resonates with anyone who’s navigated the unspoken rules of flying, where inches matter and tempers flare.

‘AITA for telling the flight attendant to ask the woman in front of me to raise her seat up because it was pressing on my legs?’

I was recently on a long (3+ hour) flight. When we got airborne, the woman in front of me reclined her seat back, pressing them down on my kneecaps. I am a tall person (6'5') and generally don't fit into coach seats easily. I couldn't even put my tray down. Leaning my seat back doesn't really help.

I wrangled myself out of my seat and asked her politely, 'I'm sorry ma'am, but I wonder if I could impose on you and ask to please raise your seat up just a few inches? I don't have much space back there and with your seat pressing on my kneecaps, neither of us will be very comfortable during this long flight. Thank you.'

She just looked at me blankly, said 'No', and closed her eyes. I walked to the front of the plane and explained my situation to the flight attendant, who went back and spoke to the woman, who then reluctantly raised the seat up a bit. When I got back into my seat, the woman turned around and hissed 'A**hole' at me.. AITA? Should I have just kept my mouth closed and sucked up for the remainder of the flight?

Airplane seating disputes often reveal the tension between individual rights and collective comfort. The man’s polite request for a slight seat adjustment was reasonable, given his physical constraints, but the woman’s refusal highlights differing views on personal space. Her reaction, calling him an “a**hole,” suggests frustration, possibly from her own need for rest.

Dr. Sara Nelson, president of the Association of Flight Attendants, has noted, “Airlines pack seats so tightly that conflicts are inevitable” (AFA-CWA). The average seat pitch in economy has shrunk to 31 inches, per a 2020 SeatGuru report, making tall passengers particularly vulnerable. The woman’s right to recline clashes with the man’s need for legroom, a zero-sum game designed by airlines.

This incident reflects broader issues of empathy in shared spaces. The woman’s blunt refusal may stem from exhaustion or entitlement, but her reluctance to compromise escalates the conflict. Both parties are victims of a system prioritizing profit over comfort, yet mutual courtesy could have eased the tension.

Flight etiquette suggests checking behind before reclining and responding graciously to requests. For tall travelers, booking extra-legroom seats is ideal, though not always feasible, as in this last-minute trip. Open dialogue and small concessions, like partial reclining, could prevent such flare-ups, fostering a more humane flying experience.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s verdict was split, reflecting the complexity of airplane etiquette. Many praised the man’s politeness and sympathized with his plight, arguing that reclining seats in tight spaces is inherently inconsiderate, especially when it causes physical discomfort.

Others defended the woman’s right to use her seat’s full functionality, noting she paid for it. They criticized the man for escalating the issue to the flight attendant, suggesting he should have accepted her refusal. The debate underscores a broader frustration with airlines’ cramped designs.

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andwhiskersonkittens − NTA, You asked nicely and she was rude back. I don't think seats on planes should even have this function to be honest.

orayanno − NAH . It’s not her fault nor your fault that you are tall. She didn’t accommodate you but that doesn’t make her TA. She was just trying to be comfortable for the long flight too.

Bankshead − YTA the thing about politely asking is it’s not polite if you won’t accept no. Edit-never got an award before thanks! Also thanks to the people making good points in the comments! It’s fun discussing with most of y’all.

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Blastoisealways − YTA. Everyone is coach has paid for the same amount of space. If your 6ft5, presumably you know how tight economy is. You could have booked extra legroom seats in advance, or an aisle seat. Why should the lady in front of you sit in discomfort as well? She has equally paid for her seat and the right to recline.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but it really annoys me when people on planes think their comfort is more important than the people around them. You booked a seat knowing you wouldn’t fit in it

and then wanted another person to reduce their available space to make you more comfortable, so I think that makes you TA.. If the person in front of her reclines, she has even less room. Often it’s a chain reaction.

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SnakesInYerPants − INFO;. If someone of a 'normal' height was behind her, would how declined she was have been an issue? If she was reclined an amount that someone 5 foot 7 would have been fine with, then you're a massive a**hole for not booking extra room.

I saw in a comment that the flight was full, but at that point you're making a choice between time convenience (by having to wait for another flight) and comfort (having your leg room). If she was reclined so far back that even a shorter person would have been uncomfortable, then she's being a massive a**hole..

And to all the people claiming she was being rude; 'No' is a full sentence for a stranger. Receiving a 'No' as a full sentence is not a stranger being rude as you actually have no right to any of their reasoning. If she said no because she has some kind of medical or physical issue

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you wouldn't suddenly have the right to hear all about it if she didn't want to tell you about it. If anything, thinking you're entitled to hearing personal info about absolutely everyone just because you want to know their reasons is being rude.

She didn't tell him to f**k off, she wast being a b**ch. She just didn't go above and beyond to be extra friendly. Believe it or not, there is a **lot** of neutral space between 'friendly' and 'rude'.

Baator − People saying OP is an a**hole and that 'woman paid for her seat so she has every right to recline' blow my mind.. I honestly don't understand how this is even up for debate, I don't even care that OP is 6'5'. The space in economy class is so small that even a small kid would be uncomfortable if the a**hole in front of them reclined their seat..

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'She had every right'. wtf. 'The seat reclines so why not.' Who gives a f**k about the real human being a few inches behind me that can't breathe, the seat reclines, I paid for it so the hell with him. Really, WTF, who thinks like that???

I fly all the time and I have very rarely seen people recline their seats all the way down, exactly because everyone knows that it's an. extremely a**hole-ish move and you put the person behind you in a terrible position.. 'She might have had back problems, who knows?', lol. Jesus Christ...

ez042 − Long 3+ hour flight 😂. Thanks for the silver, I like silver.

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[Reddit User] − Can we all agree that airline monopolies are the real a**hole here? We can argue in circles all day about who was prioritizing their own comfort over the other person, but, really, we're stuck in these crappy, tiny spaces together, and we're all uncomfortable. To me, we have to compromise and help each other out.

I'm going to go with NTA. The amount of comfort the woman could gain from reclining the seat was less than the amount of discomfort she would cause to OP by doing it. All of the arguments saying, 'Well, they should have thought about that and booked x seat!' are just ridiculous.

The options available are not so vast as you utopians seem to think, and even when options are available, they can be prohibitively spendy. In OP's case, it was a last-minute business trip, so he had very little say on what seat he could get.

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And even if OP had been able to book a legroom seat or whatever, we shouldn't f**king have to play this game. Airline travel is a necessity in the modern world, and a handful of companies controlling the whole market

keeping prices high and quality low, should be against international agreements. It is b**lshit that we put up with this and squabble amongst ourselves about legroom instead of demanding our airlines serve us better.

EBlackR − YTA - Plane etiquette is that you keep your seat up right for takeoff, landing and during meals. You had every right to ask her and it sounds like you did so really politely which is great, but you should have taken her reply for what it was.

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The real a**hole here is really the airline designers who squish everyone in coach together in order to get a few more plane tickets in each flight, but that's not her fault. She wasn't imposing on your space, her seat was made to recline that way. For all you know she had a connecting flight or a long journey ahead and needed some shut eye.

Think of it this way, she wasn't able to fully recline her seat for the duration of the flight, but the seat in front of her was able to. That's *you* taking space away from *her.* Next time, try to book an isle seat or shell out the extra $20 for an emergency row.. Edit - This is my first silver, thank you!

robbietreehorn − I think many people who are up in arms about this need to hear something: most people are amazingly accommodating in this situation. I’m the same height as OP. Yes, I often make accommodations, as I’m sure OP does, by getting an aisle seat, getting the emergency row, etc.

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However, when that doesn’t happen, I have never encountered what op has in all my years of flying. People are usually wonderfully understanding and give me room. So thanks, wonderful people

This story shines a light on the delicate dance of airplane etiquette, where personal comfort meets shared responsibility. In a world of shrinking legroom, how do we balance our needs with those of strangers? Share your experiences—what’s your take on reclining seats, and how have you handled tight spots in the sky?

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