AITA for telling the court that I would rather live with my dad after my mom showed up with her step-kids to the dinner I planned?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a 15-year-old girl, her heart racing with joy, setting a cozy table at her grandparents’ house, the faint aroma of roasted chicken wafting through the air. She’s bursting to share life-changing news—acceptance into a prestigious Mexican high school, a golden key to a bright future. She pleads for one simple thing: just her parents, no step-siblings, no spouses, just a rare moment to feel seen.

But the night twists like a soap opera plot. Her dad, bless his sensitive soul, arrives alone, eyes bright with curiosity. Then chaos barges in—her mom, trailed by five step-kids, shatters the intimate vibe. The table’s too small, the food runs dry, and her big reveal drowns in the clamor. Disappointment stings like a fresh cut, and this brave teen faces a crossroads, wondering if her mom even cares.

‘AITA for telling the court that I would rather live with my dad after my mom showed up with her step-kids to the dinner I planned?’

My (15F) parents divorced when I was 3, my mom remarried 2 years after that and my dad 5 years after, they had 50/50 custody until last month when I decided to fully live with my dad. Both of them have step-kids with whom I'm not really close to, they're more like friends than my brothers and at first, both of them prioritized them over me.

Since my dad remarried when I was 8 I was able to tell him that I felt put aside and left behind because he had a new family that seemed to prefer, my dad is a very sensitive person and this rubbed in the wrong way, things were hard at first but with a lot of family work we were able to get trough that and things are a lot better now.

Even when my dad f**ked things up, he really tried and tried to fix them, he wasn't perfect of course and neither was I, but this brought us closer. Things with my mom were a lot different, I can't remember the first years of course, but I've always felt that my mom preferred her husband over me and this caused her to love his children more.

She forced me to call him father, to give up my room to his twins and everything my dad or my grandparents got me I had to share with them whether I liked it or not. When I was 10 I told her the same thing I said to my dad but she reacted way worse than that, she accused me of wanting to break up her marriage, of being a jealous spoiled brat and that I was an ungrateful little b**ch because she had done everything to keep me safe

But I can't remember the last time I had my mother alone, or at least a proper conversation when she didn't focused on my step-siblings. I let time pass and in september of this year I was accepted into a private high school with an scholarship in Mexico, I was so excited because if you get accepted into the HS then getting into the Uni is way more easy and this is one of Mexico's best universities.

My grandparents helped me to plan a dinner for my parents to gave them the news so I asked both of them to go to my grans house alone next sunday because I had something important to tell them. I make sure to tell them that it was only the two of them, no spouse's, no step-children and both of them said okay.

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But my mom attended with my 5 stepsiblings and went mad when she realized that there wasn't enough food for all of them. She and my dad fought and left before I could give her the news and I only told my dad, then I asked him to take me full time because I couldn't pretend that my mom wasn't hurting me.

She thought that I was gonna come to her house despite that and when I didn't show up this monday she accused me of abandoning her, told me that I was an awful daughter and her side of the family is harassing me to go back because '' a mother is the only thing I'll ever have'' and that my dad has never done anything good for me.

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A family dinner gone awry reveals a deeper rift. This teen’s story—craving a moment with her mom, only to be overshadowed by step-siblings—tugs at the heart and highlights family dynamics in flux. The mom’s choice to ignore the “no extras” plea suggests a blind spot, while the daughter’s shift to her dad’s home screams for recognition.

Blended families can be a tightrope walk. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a renowned psychologist, notes in a 2018 Psychology Today article, “Stepparents often feel caught between their spouse and stepchild, but prioritizing the child’s bond with the biological parent is key” (psychologytoday.com). Here, Mom’s focus on her new crew likely fueled the teen’s sense of abandonment, while Dad’s effort to mend past missteps built trust.

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This ties to a broader issue: nearly 40% of U.S. families are blended, per the U.S. Census Bureau (2020), yet many stumble over loyalty conflicts. The mom’s reaction—anger and blame—hints at defensiveness, perhaps masking guilt. The daughter, meanwhile, boldly protects her space, a move both brave and telling.

What’s the fix? Open dialogue is a start—Mom could carve out one-on-one time, as Dr. Papernow suggests, to rebuild trust. Family therapy might untangle these knots, offering a safe zone to air hurts. For now, the teen’s choice to stay with Dad feels like a lifeline—lean on it, but keep the door cracked for Mom to step up.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew chimed in with fiery takes and a dash of sass—here’s the scoop on this family fiasco, straight from the digital trenches:

ScorchieSong − NTA. Your invitation specifically stated no extra guests, but your mother ignored this despite confirming she understood. Your mother failed you. She should have given you space to have a relationship with her, just between the two of you and not sharing it with her new family.

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She's never done this. She's expected you to roll over for her family while making no concessions for you. She had to make your special dinner and news about her family.. Congratulations on your achievement. May your future be bright and with people who genuinely care for you.

CakeisaDie − NTA Tell the flying monkeys to shove it. You are old enough to make your own decisions and it was your mother's choice to ignore you request to come alone. If they are posting on social media, block them.

ug-ug-oog − NTA. She obviously favours your step-siblings over you and your dad truly cares for you when he can.. She might have a deeper motive for having shared custody of you instead of ‘I am your mother’

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georgettaporcupine − NTA. OP, a lot of people have said really good things already. One thing I haven't seen is a suggestion for what to say to your mom's family, so I wanted to give you a few. 'I don't know what Mom told you, but I needed to see her one-on-one to tell her something important, and she lied to me and turned up with my step-siblings.

She needs to apologize to me.' 'It's not OK that Mom told me she was coming alone to dinner and then showed up with five extra people and expected me to have enough food. That's not reasonable of her. She needs to apologize to me.' 'No. She owes me an apology, and she needs to do better in the future.

I did nothing wrong, and from what you have said, she is clearly lying to you about what happened. I'm not discussing this further.'. These kind of calm, reasonable, firm answers serve a few purposes. First, any family members who have been told something really weird by your mom,

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but who are themselves basically reasonable people, will be taken somewhat aback, and are likely to go away and think about it and then leave you alone. They may also ask your mom what REALLY happened. 'OP said she asked you to dinner by yourself to tell you something important, and you agreed and then turned up with all the kids? Really?'

Second, they make you look like the calm, reasonable one. (Bonus: sometimes you will FEEL more calm, because having a boring, calm script to recite can make harassment less painful.) Third, it makes it hard for them to latch onto you.

You can repeat completely boring variations on this with minimal facts, over and over. This makes harassment unsatisfying for them, because they are not getting an emotional reaction out of you.. Good luck, and congratulations!

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An-Old-Fart − NTA. she accused me of abandoning her. It sounds like she emotionally abandoned you years ago. You wanting to stay with your dad full time is the price she now has to pay for doing that.

[Reddit User] − NTA you're clearly at an age where you're capable of determining where you feel would be the best fit for you. Since your mother couldn't stay long enough to hear your news for her, you might as well text her.

[Reddit User] − NTA she just proved herself right, I'm assuming you got into Tec de Monterrey's high school or something like that which is so impressive. Felicidades y buena suerte en tu futuro!

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Ladodgersfans − NTA. I’m surprised that everyone is glossing over the fact that the mom called her 10 year old daughter a b**ch.

Missysgettinpissy − NTA. Your mom sounds like a real piece of work. Stay far away and save your sanity. I never had step/half siblings growing up- but I noticed my mom acted differently when her BF wasn't around. And that 1 on 1 time is important for parents to maintain. I think you should cut your losses with Mom, and start focusing on yourself and Dad for the future. Hopefully she'll come around. If not...less weight to carry.

VictorianPlatypus − NTA Your father has shown with his actions that he loves you and wants to put in the work to be the best parent he can be. Your mother has shown with her actions that she cares more for her marriage and stepchildren than her own child.. Enjoy living with your dad, and congratulations on your academic accomplishment!

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These hot takes from Reddit spark a chuckle, but do they nail the truth? Maybe Mom’s got a side we’re missing, or maybe this teen’s just claiming her spotlight. Either way, the crowd’s got her back!

In a whirlwind of clashing families and bold moves, this 15-year-old traded chaos for calm, choosing Dad’s home over Mom’s crowded stage. Her gutsy call—fueled by a botched dinner and years of feeling sidelined—lights up a path to self-worth. Mom’s misstep stung, but the teen’s triumph shines brighter, with a scholarship and a dad in her corner. What would you do if your big moment got hijacked by uninvited guests? Drop your thoughts, share your stories—how would you navigate this family tangle?

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