AITA for telling someone to stop talking because they don’t have children?

Conversations about pregnancy can quickly become emotionally charged when strong opinions clash at the dinner table. In this situation, a pregnant woman found herself confronting dismissive remarks about postpartum depression from older family members who had never experienced childbirth themselves. What started as casual discussion soon escalated into a tense exchange that left everyone upset and questioning where respect and boundaries should be drawn.

What makes the story more complicated is the presence of family hierarchy and expectations around age, experience, and deference. The woman believed she was standing up for a real and serious medical condition, while others felt she crossed a line by speaking bluntly. As opinions hardened on both sides, the incident raised a broader question about who gets to speak on deeply personal health issues, and whether respect for elders should outweigh calling out harmful misinformation.

‘AITA for telling someone to stop talking because they don’t have children?’

It all started during a family dinner when pregnancy topics unexpectedly took center stage.

My husband has 2 aunts (Aunt A and Aunt B), they are very close to my MIL. They are both in their 60s. They don't have children. Aunt A is...

And now, I am pregnant. We were having a dinner together and they started talking about pregnancy related things. Aunt A said: I think there is no such thing as...

As the conversation deepened, dismissive opinions about mental health created visible tension.

Me: Well it is a real thing. Aunt B: No, Sachiko, it's just dumb. MIL, have you heard about it? MIL: ... I know for a fact my MIL was...

She is the youngest child in her family, so I suppose this is why she went silent. Aunt A: Listen, Sachiko, women are just lazy, they should work harder and...

Aunt B: When you feel sad, just do more for the baby. Me: Well, I think you should stop talking about things you will never understand. The only person in...

The final exchange pushed emotions over the edge and ended the evening abruptly.

They went so mad and the dinner was quickly over. Both Aunts accused me of being insensitive and rude. My husband is on my side - they have never experienced...

ADVERTISEMENT

But my MIL thinks I went too far, because they are old and I should respect them more. She asked me to apologize to them and blame it on me...

At its core, the issue revolves around misinformation about postpartum depression and the harm such beliefs can cause. Dismissing PPD as laziness or weakness ignores decades of medical research and the experiences of countless families. For someone who is pregnant, hearing these statements can feel invalidating and even frightening, especially when coming from trusted relatives. Speaking up in that moment may have felt less like an attack and more like self-defense.

On the other hand, critics argue that the way the message was delivered matters. Pointing out that someone has not given birth can sound personal rather than educational, even if frustration is justified. Some believe redirecting the conversation or correcting the misinformation without referencing their lack of children might have reduced conflict. This perspective focuses on communication style rather than the substance of the disagreement.

ADVERTISEMENT

From a broader social perspective, the story reflects how older attitudes toward mental health still persist in family spaces. Respect for elders is often emphasized, but respect should not require silence in the face of harmful claims. The tension lies in balancing empathy, honesty, and boundaries, especially when discussing health issues that disproportionately affect women and are still widely misunderstood.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many users support the poster, praising her for pushing back against harmful misinformation.

BabesMcGoob − NTA. Their behavior is why a lot of mothers don’t reach out for the PPD and things get worse. Then when things get worse they’re still considered a...

ADVERTISEMENT

DogsReadingBooks − NTA. PPD is a serious thing. Even people who never are pregnant or have children know that. They’re just being ignorant.

[Reddit User] − Not that I know about ppd, but 'you should respect them because they're old' is 1st class b__lshit NTA

LemursInDisguise − NTA. Aunts are being entitled and self-centered. However potentially rude it is to tell someone to withdraw their opinion from a topic they know nothing about is sand...

ADVERTISEMENT

mansplaining an extremely sensitive topic to a pregnant woman, especially given the fact that they were mocking a mental illness.

Also my MIL thinks I went too far, because they are old and I should respect them more F__k that childish s__t. Age /= being entitled to superiority.

YouCanBetOnItMs − The term "spinster" has negative connotations, why can't you just describe her as unmarried, without children?

ADVERTISEMENT

When I hear this word, I picture a woman who the society looks down upon for being unmarried. Apart from that, NTA.

Edit: I love it how we're having a constructive, elucidating and entirely polite discussion about word etymology in the comment thread below :) Thank you for the many interesting facts...

Other commenters offered more balanced takes, acknowledging faults on multiple sides.

ADVERTISEMENT

psswrdistaco − ESH. They shouldn’t have said that, but you could have disagreed in a better way or changed the subject not thrown it in their faces that they didn’t...

[Reddit User] − ESH. Had you told them to quit talking about the topic because they were probably wrong, you be ok. But you haven't given birth yet either so...

[Reddit User] − NTA , but they're clueless because they're clueless, not because they haven't given birth. How many a__hole parents are responsible for the dilemmas that get brought here...

ADVERTISEMENT

How many child therapists and teachers saving children's lives are childless? How many OB/GYNs are saving pregnant people despite the fact that they can't get pregnant? How many PPD therapists...

Aunties. Godparents. Adoptive parents. The list goes on. Lots of people who have given birth are horrible to people who have given birth. Lived experience is important but it's not...

A few responses lightened the mood while still making pointed observations.

ADVERTISEMENT

Guilty_BaN − NTA You should show MIL all the studies on PPD and ask why women of that age aren't aware of such previlant information that affects women, since they're...

YggdrasilEdda − NTA as someone who's vehemently childfree your aunts behaviour was f__king a__orrent.

I am also very aware of the danger of postpartum depression- which coincidentally is one of the reasons why I'm CF -and those ignorant morons being so blithe,

ADVERTISEMENT

and acting as if women who suffer from it are just lazy assholes is pissing me right off. Women *die* from that s__t.

This story captures a familiar family dilemma where outdated beliefs collide with modern understanding of mental health. While the poster’s frustration is easy to understand, especially given the dismissive comments about postpartum depression, the fallout shows how quickly conversations can fracture when emotions run high and personal experiences are questioned.

Should family members without direct experience stay silent on sensitive topics, or is everyone responsible for educating themselves before speaking? How much weight should age and seniority carry when harmful misinformation is shared? Readers are invited to reflect on where they would draw the line between respect and self-advocacy in similar situations.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *