AITA for telling people why I stopped seeing our friend?

Imagine a dimly lit café, where old friends swap stories, but one glance at a scarred face shifts the mood. For a 23-year-old woman, let’s call her Mia, surviving a life-altering accident was only the start of her pain. Her friend Luka’s cruel request to cover her scars, claiming they made him “nauseous,” cut deeper than any wound. When Mia shared this betrayal with mutual friends, Luka’s party plans unraveled, and he’s now crying foul, accusing her of painting him as the villain.

This isn’t just about a party snub—it’s about healing, boundaries, and the sting of a friend’s insensitivity. Mia’s honesty about Luka’s words has split their circle, with some rallying behind her and others siding with him. Reddit’s chimed in, and their takes are as fiery as a summer bonfire. Was Mia right to speak her truth, or did she overshare? Let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster.

‘AITA for telling people why I stopped seeing our friend?’

A few years ago, I (23F) survived an accident that took my arm, my eye, and mangled half my face. I know I wasn’t particularly pretty to begin with, but it left me feeling at my lowest. What hurt is that my now ex friend “Luka” (24FTM) asked me to cover up my scars and the stump because it made him “feel nauseous” looking at me.

That day I went home crying. If he couldn’t stand to see me like that, how could I? After that, I cut off ties with him. Not once did he see me in the hospital or call me up to see how I was doing. And the one time he sees me after the incident, it’s to ask that I do something about my scars.

Well, I wish I could say that was the last time. But every time since then, every time where in the same room he’s always commenting on my face and how I look terrible. No s**t, Sherlock. Lukas is having a party next weekend and I found out when our mutual asked if I was going.

I told them that I wasnt because of what happened and how my face Grosses him out now. He just called me to yell at me for telling everyone about it. Apparently several people we know got wind of what happened and decided not to attend.

He thinks I’m making him out to be an a**hole even though he wants celebrate his surgery. I feel for him, but I can’t forget what he said. What he said still hurts. AITA for telling friends why I don’t hang out with Lukas anymore?

Mia’s decision to cut ties with Luka and share his hurtful comments reflects a stand for self-respect. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, notes, “Trauma survivors need safe spaces to rebuild their sense of self” . Luka’s repeated comments about Mia’s appearance, especially post-accident, weren’t just tactless—they were a betrayal of friendship. By asking her to hide her scars, he prioritized his discomfort over her healing, a move that screams insensitivity.

This situation taps into a broader issue: the social stigma around visible disabilities. A 2020 study in Disability and Society found that 65% of people with visible injuries face negative social reactions, impacting mental health . Luka’s failure to support Mia during her recovery, coupled with his cruel remarks, justified her decision to distance herself. Sharing this with mutual friends wasn’t spiteful—it was an honest explanation of her boundaries.

Dr. van der Kolk advises, “Survivors thrive when supported, not shamed.” Mia could benefit from therapy to process both her trauma and Luka’s rejection, while continuing to lean on supportive friends. Her honesty empowered others to reassess Luka’s character, showing that truth-telling can shift group dynamics for the better. By standing firm, Mia’s reclaiming her narrative, scars and all.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit rolled in like a squad of loyal pals, dishing out support with a side of righteous fury. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

neuworld − He is the BIGGEST f**king a**hole! Accidents can happen to anyone, as a friend I would just be so thankful you survived!. Let him be seen for what he is!

No_Extreme_1798 − NTA. I’m so sorry you went through that. Your not the a**hole for telling the truth and he’s the a**hole for being so cruel to you. Although your outwardly appearance may have changed your still you and no one deserves to be called gross for something outside of their control. If your mutual friends are mad at him, good.

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Road_Warrior2 − NTA. He’s reaping what he’s sown. I’m hoping you’re in an active therapy program as well. I have a very good friend that was similarly injured in Iraq and was in a very bad place for a long time. His wife and I finally managed to get him into a pretty intensive program and he’s still with us today - and in a much better headspace.

Gooned_Decensors − NTA, oh my god OP. I'm so sorry for both your accident and your terrible 'friend'. Good riddance. I get that body mutilation can be a very frightening or jarring thing to look at or see. That's understandable. What's not understandable is telling your friend, who's went through something traumatic to cause that to happen,

that they're disgusting or gross or anything even remotely close to that. **He showed his true colors by not even bothering to CHECK on you. You can call someone every day and never see them.** You didn't cause your real friends to do anything. You just told the truth, and they're sticking up for you.

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genderbredman − NTA. i am also FTM and i understand how it feels to be seen as ugly and nauseating by others. Luka has either lived a very very sheltered life and has no point of reference, or he is taking his own insecurities out on you, which is frankly gross. good on you for getting this dude out of your life, and good on your mutuals for refusing to see him now that they know he was being awful to you.

[Reddit User] − The icing for me is that he's having a party to celebrate his surgery, expects support for that, but is utterly cruel to his friend who just had a horrific accident. This person is not a friend to anyone.

MycroftHolmes1953 − Nope, NTA. Everyone should shun that creep. Block him.

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dfjdejulio − NTA. He thinks you're making him out to be an a**hole because you aren't *covering* for the fact that he *is* an a**hole, that's all. Not your problem.

[Reddit User] − NTA you told one person and they wanted to let others know the truth about their 'friend', and they did need to know. Sorry he's a duck OP

[Reddit User] − Oh. My. F**k. All you did was be honest about his behavior. If he doesn’t want people to not want anything to do with him, then perhaps he should muster up some g**damn decency and try to be a semblance of a human f**king person. Ugh. I’m so disgusted by him and his actions. I’m so sorry that anyone has ever made you feel this way.. Oh yeah, and NTA.

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These Redditors didn’t hold back, cheering Mia’s courage and torching Luka’s cruelty. Some saw his party boycott as karma, others urged therapy for Mia’s healing. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the drama flames?

Mia’s choice to share Luka’s hurtful words wasn’t about revenge—it was about owning her truth after a devastating accident. His insensitivity turned a friendship into a painful memory, and her honesty reshaped their social circle. With scars as a badge of survival, Mia’s standing tall, but was she wrong to air the truth? What would you do if a friend shamed your appearance after a life-changing event? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this raw saga!

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