AITA for telling people that my girlfriend shat herself during our son’s birth?

At a dinner party celebrating a newborn, the host shared an embarrassing birth moment, sparking laughter and teasing. When the man’s girlfriend joined in, mocking her sister, he stepped in to reassure, revealing that his girlfriend had a similar experience. This backfired, leaving her humiliated and ignoring him, turning the joyful night tense.

This story explores the line between helping someone feel better and protecting a loved one’s privacy. Was he wrong to share a sensitive detail to ease another’s shame, or was his girlfriend right to feel betrayed? Let’s unravel this family drama to see who’s in the right.

‘AITA for telling people that my girlfriend shat herself during our son’s birth?’

The group discussed a sensitive birth moment.

Last night there was a dinner party at my girlfriend's sister's ('Lana') house to celebrate the recent birth of their child with some of her family and friends. Afterwards we...

Lana was talking about how embarrassed she was afterwards because she'd shat herself during and how she wanted to just bury her head in the sand. Only three women in...

The girlfriend amplified the embarrassment with jokes.

To be fair they weren't laughing directly at her in an intentionally malicious way but were still laughing in a "you really did that?" type of way.

My girlfriend chimed in saying that she would've been surprised if Lana wasn't embarrassed after shitting all over herself then started dramatising the whole thing - jokingly- as if it...

He tried to normalize the situation but shared too much.

It was all banter but to cover all corners I added that it's actually common to s__t yourself while giving birth. With all the pushing and pressure being exerted on...

The friend who has a child agreed with me but one cousin was like "yeah right" and so i double down and used my girlfriend as an example. She also...

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I didn't give a f__k, the nurses didn't give a f__k, the doctor absolutely didn't give a f__k. What matters is the baby came out, even if he came out...

The revelation sparked a rift.

My girlfriend argued with me for a bit insisting that she didn't but stopped when I told her she could ask her mother (she was also there). From then onwards...

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This made things a bit tense since everyone noticed so I told her that I'd wait in the car and excused myself. She followed about thirty minutes later and as...

She thinks it was a d__k head move blasting the fact that she shat herself to everyone like that and that it was really embarrassing and unnecessary.

No one even cared and I could tell it made Lana feel calmer but I just let her get it out and didn't say anything. Things are still quite cold...

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Sharing a sensitive detail about a partner at a party raises questions about respect, communication, and social sensitivity.

The man had good intentions, aiming to comfort Lana by normalizing a common birth experience, supported by medical data that 25-50% of women face this during delivery (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists). However, revealing his girlfriend’s similar experience, especially when she was unaware and had just mocked Lana, was a misstep. Psychologist Harriet Lerner notes, “Sharing someone’s personal details without consent can shatter trust” (The Dance of Connection).

The girlfriend’s hurt is valid, as the public disclosure humiliated her. Her teasing of Lana, though, lacked empathy, worsening Lana’s shame.

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He should apologize for sharing without her consent and discuss the incident privately to rebuild trust. She should acknowledge her role in mocking Lana and apologize. Both need to prioritize sensitive, open communication moving forward.

See what others had to share with OP:

Social media users were divided, with some supporting the man’s intent and others criticizing his breach of privacy.

Some felt the girlfriend deserved to be called out for her hypocrisy.

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tatasz − NTA Your girlfriend played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. You would be AH if she was supportive, but she was literally making fun of another...

DependentProof8305 − NTA, I swear everyone who is saying y t a didn’t read the post and just read the title. Your girlfriend was being a hypocritical a__hole and you...

AppeltjeEitje1079 − NTA, your girlfriend even made fun of poor Lana, knowing she had done the same thing, but was too embarrassed herself! ?

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You are right about it being pretty normal and to be embarrassed about it is unnecessary. Your gf also should not be embarrassed, it happened, so what?

CemeteryDweller7719 − Having given birth a few times, I’m leaning NTA. ... Her sister was already embarrassed and your girlfriend opted to add to it. Girlfriend shouldn’t have thrown stones.

Many argued he crossed a line by embarrassing his girlfriend.

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elinordash − YTA. ... You told a story about your girlfriend that she was unaware of and that you knew that would embarrass her. Being accurate was worth humiliating your...

[Reddit User] − YTA, I loved how it was going until you used your girlfriend as an example. You embarrassed someone. ... to stop someone else from getting embarrassed? Granted,...

Thirsty-Boiii − ESH ... You shouldn’t have thrown your wife under the bus in front of people- she obviously was embarrassed and clueless. But if I were you, I would’ve...

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Some felt both parties were at fault.

MelodyRaine − ESH, mommy groups exist, and this is absolutely a topic of conversation in damn near every one ... Your GF is an a__hole for making fun of another...

You are not as much of an a__hole for outing your GF about a part of her birth experience she didn't remember. The other women there are assholes for talking...

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Thirsty-Boiii − ESH (including some of your friends except Lana) ... The friend group shouldn’t have teased her about something she was embarrassed about.

Those other women… they’re either extremely ignorant to certain aspects of birth or so embarrassed by shitting ... that they would rather throw her under the bus and make her...

Users emphasized the normalcy of the incident.

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OscarElGroucho − I thought it was common knowledge that during pregnancy you're shitting yourself. What I DIDN’T know was that they cut the a__s. F__king hell. My condolences

Think-Tap − Eh this one is towing a real fine line. ... I’m going to go with NTA because you clearly weren’t trying to embarrass your gf, you were trying...

Opinions split, with some backing the man for helping Lana and calling out his girlfriend’s hypocrisy, while others criticized him for publicly humiliating her. Neutral voices (ESH) noted both were wrong, emphasizing that such birth incidents are normal and shouldn’t be mocked.

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Good intentions don’t justify sharing sensitive personal details without consent. Respectful, private communication is key to maintaining trust in relationships and social settings.

Have you ever accidentally embarrassed someone while trying to help another? How do you navigate sensitive situations without causing hurt? Share your stories below!

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