AITA for telling off my Class President & refusing to cooperate because she enlisted me into a school event without my consent?

In the bustling corridors of high school life, unexpected challenges often test our boundaries—even in seemingly trivial school events. An 18-year-old student found herself at the center of controversy when her class president unilaterally enlisted her into a language contest without asking for her consent. With another commitment already in place, the forced registration felt like an infringement on her personal time and decision-making process.

Caught between the demands of school tradition and her own priorities, the student decided to stand her ground. Her bold refusal to comply sparked debates among peers and raised important questions about leadership responsibilities and individual autonomy. This incident invites us to reflect on how clear communication and respect for personal choice are essential, even in a tightly knit community like a classroom.

‘AITA for telling off my Class President & refusing to cooperate because she enlisted me into a school event without my consent?’

I (18F) am currently a highschooler. Not too long ago there was a school event that was organized to celebrate our trilingual institution; meaning that we held interclass competitions in our local language, national language, and in English. Every class is required to send 1 or two representatives per competition branch.

Compared to my classmates I am quite fluent in English but I had another competition outside of my school that I needed to prepare for so I did not enlist myself. About 2 weeks before the day of the event, the guidebook was sent to my class' group chat as well as a list of who will participate.

Our Class President (18F) urged us to enlist ourselves. Since I was busy, I ignored it. Fast forward a week after that, at 7 PM on a Friday, my Class President DM-ed me. She asked me if I’ve already submitted the video for the upcoming school event’s English speech contest.

When I asked for further information, she sent me a screenshot of the list in the class group chat, showing that my named was on the list under “English Speech Contest”. She admonished me for not paying attention since she tagged me and the other contestants a school week (5 days) before. This is one her texts, translated:

“You didn’t know that you were enlisted as a participant? Come on [My Name], we’ve already listed you in the group chat since a whole week ago…”

When I checked the ACTUAL list I found that, above it, she had conveniently cropped out a text where she said that this “revised” list (composed by herself and our Class’ Vice President (18F)) cannot be protested as they’ve officially registered the people on the list. This is the exact text in the group chat (some parts have been translated):.

“No excuses, [those on this list have been officially registered.]”

I screenshotted that specific text and circled the “no excuses” part before sending it to her. I told her that in that WHOLE SCHOOL WEEK after she registered me and our other classmates neither she nor the Vice President ever bothered to check in with me about whether or not I’ll be able to participate.

I also emphasized the fact that only now, less than 5 hours before deadline (11:59 PM), did any of them bother to text me. At the end of my text I told her that everything must be done with consent and there was no such thing as “no excuses” considering we live in a democratic country.. Class President left me on read. Fine.

A couple of days later it’s Monday again. Class President & Vice did not bring up this issue. My parents say I’m in the right feel slighted, while some of my classmates have said that I was an a**hole for refusing to cooperate and potentially getting the entire class in trouble.. AITA?

Letting your voice be heard is pivotal in any group setting, especially when decisions are made on your behalf. In this instance, the student’s reaction reveals a critical breach in expected communication protocols. When leaders assume consent without discussion, it can lead to resentment and a breakdown of trust within the group. It’s important for school officials and student leaders to remember that every participant deserves the right to decide their involvement in any activity.

In many cases, enforced participation can have unintended consequences. It may pressure students into roles they are unprepared to fill or simply do not wish to assume. This disregard for personal choice can affect the morale of the entire class. Establishing a system where individual consent is obtained beforehand is not just a courtesy, but a cornerstone of respectful leadership. Proactive leaders ensure that every decision is mutually agreed upon, fostering a more collaborative and supportive environment.

Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned expert on vulnerability and the power of setting boundaries, once remarked, “Daring to set boundaries is an act of self-respect and an essential step toward cultivating healthy relationships.” Her insight underscores the importance of maintaining personal agency in all aspects of life—even in school projects where collective success is prized. The situation presented here is a clear example of what can happen when organizational roles are misused and personal consent is taken for granted.

Taking this perspective further, one must consider the broader implications of such actions in educational settings. When students are coerced into participation, it not only undermines their autonomy but also sets a precedent for future interactions. School should be a safe space for learning not only academics but also life skills like communication and respectful negotiation. A concerted effort to involve all parties in decision-making can lead to better-managed events and healthier peer relationships, benefitting the entire community.

Ultimately, the key lies in balancing collective responsibilities with individual rights. Whether through open dialogue, structured feedback mechanisms, or even mediation by faculty, ensuring that all voices are respected paves the way for a more inclusive environment. As we digest this scenario, it’s imperative to reassess our approaches to leadership and participation, so that each student feels heard and valued.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community – a mix of candid and humorous insights that capture varied perspectives.

aquavenatus − NTA. Make sure your class president didn’t forge your signature on any of the paperwork!

Crazyandiloveit − NTA. If she was short on people she should have talked to you and asked if you'd be willing to enter the contest. Maybe even offer help with the video etc. Enlisting you without your consent is not ok. If anyone got the class in trouble it's her. Sadly this probably won't matter much when it comes to your classmates, they might not listen to reason and blame you regardlessly. 

Professional-Eye5977 − Why would the whole class get in trouble lol. What did they do

GothPenguin − NTA No one has the right to decide for you what you will be doing not even your class president. She’s abusing her position.

wesmorgan1 − NTA they can't force you to participate. If they try to raise a stink about it, let the faculty/administration know about the situation.

buggybugoot − Unless you stay in your home town, you will never see this people again. You will not be friends with them. Less than 10% of high school relationships, even best friendships, even romantic relationships, last but a few years after high school.. The school year is almost over. F**k them lol. NTA.

kurokomainu − NTA Just have a very compact explanation ready to give people who bring it up to you. You weren't asked and weren't contacted about it directly until five hours before the deadline. You already had a commitment taking up your time which is why you didn't sign up,

and they would have known that if they had talked to you instead of trying to pull a fast one. As you hadn't signed up you didn't follow what was going on with it as it had nothing to do with you. This isn't on you. The class president is entirely to blame.

Squirrels-love-me − NTA this isn’t the draft, no one can force you to participate. Maybe this will teach the others about asking first.

JustheBean − NTA. If the class did get in trouble, that would have been on the class president, not you. She does understand that being class president doesn’t give her actual presidential power right? She doesn’t have the right to f**king summon you.. I hope she enjoyed this failed little power trip and remembers it well in the future.

MISKINAK2 − NTA. The buck stops with the president. She's going to have to scramble to do it herself or actually appoint properly another minion.. Project management is what your president should be learning here.. Imagine if I took a huge part of a project and assigned it to someone who was away sick...

Then didn't tell them.. Then held project meetings on it and talked to an empty chair.. Then accepted *no feedback at all* as all good.. Then I would be fired. This is a full on leadership fail. Does she have imaginary friends handling the class treasury too?

Perhaps the Snufflupagus is in charge of fundraising?. You can carry on. Not your responsibility. Not your fault. That's what I would do, but I'm an a**hole, my husband suggested offering to help the person she appoints because that person is screwed. He's a much better person than I am.

The consensus among many commenters is that no one has the right to sign someone up without permission, with voices applauding the student’s stand against coercion. Although some peers worry about potential fallout, the majority agree that respecting personal boundaries is paramount and that the responsibility lies squarely with the class president for mismanaging the sign-up process.

In conclusion, the heart of the matter in this story is the essential need for clear communication and respect for personal autonomy. The student’s refusal to participate in an event she never agreed to highlights the importance of obtaining consent before decisions are made on someone else’s behalf.

As leaders—whether in school or elsewhere—ensuring that every individual’s voice is heard is not just good practice, but a necessary element of mutual respect. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below to keep this important conversation going.

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