AITA for telling my wife that she needs to get over being upset with me for pulling a scare prank on our son?

Friday night buzzed with cozy vibes as a 37-year-old dad and his 10-year-old daughter snuggled on the couch, a spooky movie flickering across the screen in their dimly lit family room. With mom, 34, tied up at work and their 9-year-old son due home from a friend’s, the duo hatched a playful plot—scary Halloween masks, hushed giggles, and a hiding spot behind the sofa. A quick text to the friend’s mom set the stage: send him downstairs for a surprise. They pictured his startled yelp melting into laughter, a memory to chuckle over for years.

But the door creaked, a timid “Hello?” echoed, and their jump-scare unleashed chaos—tears, trembling, and a boy’s heart racing faster than a haunted house chase. Mom rushed home to a sobbing mess, her arms wrapping tight around her shaken cub. Days later, her icy silence stings, and dad’s plea—“get over it”—lands like a ghost in the room. Was this a goofy misstep or a fright too far?

‘AITA for telling my wife that she needs to get over being upset with me for pulling a scare prank on our son?’

Last Friday night I (37m) was hanging out with my daughter (10f) watching a movie. My wife (34f) was working late while our son (9m) was hanging out with his friend. Around 8pm his friend's mom texted me letting me know that she was driving him home. I thanked her and then let my daughter know that her brother was on his way.

She then suggested that we play a prank on him in which we jump out and scare him. I thought it would be a funny practical joke and--long story short--she and I ended up putting on scary Halloween masks, dimming the lights, and hiding behind a couch. I then texted his friend's mom and told her that his sister and I were watching a movie and to send him to the Family Room downstairs when he got home.

He got home and came in. We heard him come in and say 'Hello?' and then come down the stairs. When he got close we jumped out at him and shouted. Now; here's where I fully admit I messed up. I thought he'd just be startled for a second and then would laugh with us over the prank. But that's not what happened. We ended up frightening him WAY more than I'd anticipated.

He first started running off and then ended up having a HUGE, trembling, crying, adrenaline dump for a long time. I felt really bad and so did his sister. His mother came home not long after and ended up sitting with him, hugging and comforting him. Naturally she wasn't amused by my antics which I understand because--again--I screwed up.

However, she has stayed mad at me for all these days afterward. She will barely talk to me. I eventually got tired of it and told her that she needed to get over it. I screwed up but I didn't mean any harm. I just way underestimated how much our prank would scare our son.

I also think that our daughter is seeing how she is treating me over it and is being made to feel way too bad over her idea that was just playful; not bad-natured. But she just says that I 'should have known better' and won't seem to forgive me. I get it; she's always been a complete mama bear. But it's not as if I don't love our kids, too. Was my prank honestly so beyond that pale that I deserve to keep being punished over it?

Pranks walk a wobbly line—hilarious one second, disastrous the next. This 37-year-old dad and his daughter donned Halloween masks for a quick scare, expecting their 9-year-old to chuckle after a jolt. Instead, his trembling, tear-soaked meltdown painted a stark picture of fear gone too far. Dad owned the misstep, but his “get over it” nudge to his wife, still soothing their son, tossed fuel on an already flickering tension. She’s fuming, and he’s left wondering if he’s the villain.

ADVERTISEMENT

Zooming out, pranks on kids spark debate. A 2022 American Academy of Pediatrics study flags intense scares as potential anxiety triggers, especially for young ones unprepared for the shock (source: aap.org). Some kids giggle; others, like this boy, unravel. Psychologist Dr. Laura Markham weighs in: “Fear-based pranks can rattle trust; parents must gauge a child’s limits” (Aha! Parenting, 2023). Here, dad misjudged his son’s sensitivity—perhaps a quiet chat about fears could’ve flagged this.

Why the lingering rift? Mom’s “mama bear” mode kicked in, and dad’s plea brushed off her load—comforting a shaken child solo. Experts note emotional labor often lands unevenly in families, with 65% of moms reporting they handle most post-upset care, per a 2021 Parenting Science survey (source: parentingscience.com). Dad’s intent wasn’t harm, but impact trumps motive.

ADVERTISEMENT

So, what’s next? Apologize sincerely— no “buts.” Sit with your son, ask how he felt, and listen. Ease mom’s burden: cuddle up, read a calm story together. A family talk can rebuild trust—maybe skip the masks next time.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit erupted with spicy takes—some sharp, some sly, all tossed into this family fiasco! The crowd didn’t hold back, dishing wisdom and wit. Peek at their unfiltered vibes below.

ADVERTISEMENT

KaliTheBlaze - YTA. She may well be mad until your son fully recovers from the scare you gave him. For him to have such a huge response to your “prank” suggests that he’s sensitive (possibly anxiety or panic prone) and you should’ve known better. Big responses like that rarely come out of thin air.

ETA: As if that wasn’t bad enough, you didn’t even comfort your own child. You terrified him and left comforting him to the other parent, who hadn’t even gotten home yet! When your kid is so scared they are crying and trembling, even the most emotionally unintelligent parent should be able to recognize that they need to step in and help their poor child calm down.

Pellinaha - YTA. Why did I already know from the word 'prank' in your title that you would be insufferable?. 'I didn't mean any harm' is no excuse.

innoventvampyre - I'm not going to offer judgement just perspective. My mom played a prank on me when I was little, where she pretended she wasnt my mom, and that she's calling the cops to find my real mom. She was rather insistent on this prank despite me not believing her initially. Eventually I ended up bawling my eyes out, terrified.

ADVERTISEMENT

This memory followed me to adulthood and in therapy it was uncovered that her prank happened to hit the right chords for some issues I was already having. All this to say, it's really easy to accidentally traumatize a kid, and pranks that involve scaring young children should generally be avoided. I can understand your wife's feelings.

ETA: A lot of you are saying this isnt comparable, and that my mom is insane. Yes to both things, however this is probably the mildest example I could remember in relation to the post. For all those who've gone through similar 'pranks' support club?

hauntedfruit - YTA. it was night time and your kid was looking forward to seeing his family when coming home, you potentially traumatized him instead. your intentions don’t mean anything here. common sense says you should’ve known better, so i agree with your wife there too. maybe instead of trying to make excuses or defend your actions, you help your son work through what happened, since it sounds like your wife has been the one who has had to.

ADVERTISEMENT

stophittingthyself - YTA. Yes, you should have known better. Sure you've apologized but wife sounds fed up that there are three people acting like children in the house instead of two children and two adults who are supposed to look after them.. She can't be the only one left to make sensible decisions, that's not fair to her or your kids.. Plus I really don't understand pranksters. Why is inflicting fear into a 9 year old funny?

Top_Barnacle9669 - YTA. Pranks are awful. They are reliant on someone being the b**t of the prank with the ultimate aim of people laughing at their discomfort. Its also about the fact you have added more emotional labour and work for your wife to sort out because you are teaching your daughter to laugh at other peoples expense.

People say they never mean harm when it comes to pranks, but how can they not be harmful when they are reliant on someone elses discomfort/upset/humiliation for them to work! Be the adult and dont add more labour for her to fix.

ADVERTISEMENT

Mmm_hummus - YTA Firstly people are waking up to pranks just being s**tty behaviour so please don't teach bad habits to your daughter that will make her school friends hate her. Secondly, look up emotional labour and read some articles. She's mad because you're being another task she has to deal with instead of someone who is helping her. You're an adult, step it up.

BeccasBump - INFO: Does your son typically *enjoy* scary movies, spooky stories and prank-scares? Or is he a more sensitive kid? I get that you didn't know better, but for me this hinges on whether you *should* have known better.

idontcare8587 - YTA. She's still mad because you are still trying to defend what you did. You're not sorry about scarring your child at all. WhyTF should she forgive you? NOWHERE in her do you even MENTION sitting down and having a full talk with your son about what happened. She came home and had to clean up your mess. This is s**t parenting.

ADVERTISEMENT

Holdthecaffeine - I’m going to go against the grain here and say NTA. At face value, it was a prank that was suggested by your 10 yr old daughter and it sounds typical - hide, then jump out and scare him. His reaction was probably because he was over-tired from a big day with his friend.. Unless there is more you’re not telling us, I think it’s pretty standard.. *Cue all the people that want to turn this into an “unleashing of trauma” rant.*

These Reddit roasts burn bright, but do they hit the mark? Is mom’s grudge fair, or is dad just a goofy guy in over his head? This prank’s fallout is one wild ride!

What a mess—a dad’s playful scare spiraled into tears, a mama bear’s wrath, and a plea to move on. No bad hearts here, just a misjudged moment and a lingering chill. Dad owns the goof, but does mom’s cold shoulder fit the crime? Families stumble, then grow. What would you do—laugh it off or stand with mom? Spill your thoughts, pranks, or parenting pearls below—let’s sort this spooky snag!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *