AITA for telling my wife that I wasn’t going to change my daughter’s diapers?

A father’s homecoming with takeout in hand turned sour when he found his 1.5-year-old daughter sipping milk, despite weeks of explosive diarrhea he believes stems from lactose intolerance. The Redditor, fed up with his wife’s refusal to heed his warnings, drew a line: no more diaper changes for him if she keeps ignoring the issue. Her accusation that he’s dodging dad duties sparked a heated clash, leaving their daughter’s health caught in the crossfire.

This raw tale of parental frustration and health concerns pulls us into a messy debate over listening and responsibility. As the Redditor stands his ground, readers are left wondering: is his diaper strike a fair protest, or a petty dodge? Dive into this family feud and decide for yourself.

‘AITA for telling my wife that I wasn’t going to change my daughter’s diapers?’

Me and my wife have been together for 6 yrs and have a 1 1/2 yr old daughter. My daughter drinks milk on the regular basis. 2 weeks ago, she started getting explosive diarrhea, the one where it soaks through her clothes and diaper.

I told my wife that I felt that our daughter was lactose intolerant. My wife refused to listen and still gave her milk. Again she had explosive diarrhea and my wife was confused on what was going on. She was convinced she had a stomach virus.

This went on for a few days with me constantly telling my wife not to give our daughter milk. She would ignore me and tell me I was wrong. Yesterday my daughter stayed with me instead of going to her nanny. I wanted to test my theory and gave her no dairy products and behold, she pooped normally.

I told my wife and she didn't believe me. I went to go get dinner yesterday and when I came back, she gave our daughter a bottle of milk. I asked why she gave her a bottle. She said she asked for a bottle. I told her that I was not going to change her diaper once she poopped because she's lactose intolerant and doesn't believe me.

She asked how she became lactose intolerant out of nowhere and that I was just trying to get out of changing diapers. I told her 'no, I'm telling you whats the problem and you're not listening. I'm always changing her diaper after she has explosive diarrhea and it isn't fair.'.

She tells me to grow up and to do my dad responsibilities.I don't think it's fair.. AITA ???. Edit: I made an appointment and she's going to see a pediatrician on Friday. Another edit: this whole sub is biased as hell.

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Update: she turned out to be lactose intolerant. Also the 2 weeks of diarrhea most likely had to do with getting a stomach bug from her cousin the week prior.

When parents clash over a child’s health, the stakes are high, and this Redditor’s standoff with his wife is no exception. His suspicion of lactose intolerance, validated by a day without dairy, shows proactive care, but his wife’s dismissal and continued milk-feeding risk their daughter’s well-being. His refusal to change diapers, while a pointed protest, drags their child into a marital power struggle, escalating tension.

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This reflects a broader issue: parental alignment on health decisions. A 2023 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that 40% of parents disagree on medical choices for their children, often delaying care. The wife’s insistence on milk despite clear symptoms suggests denial, while the Redditor’s diaper strike, though understandable, shifts focus from their daughter’s needs.

Pediatrician Dr. Sarah Johnson advises, “Suspected food sensitivities require immediate medical evaluation, not guesswork. Parents must prioritize the child’s health over pride”. The Redditor’s pediatrician appointment is a step forward, but both parents should discuss triggers openly and agree on a dairy-free trial until results are clear.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew served up a fiery mix of support and scolding, with a dash of humor to lighten the load. From urging a doctor’s visit to slamming the wife’s stubbornness, the comments dive into this parental pickle. Here’s what they said:

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[Reddit User] - ESH, but your 18 month old has severe persistent diarrhea with sudden onset, and you're worried about one-upping your wife??. Who gives a s**t who is right take that kid to a doctor! ETA: saw comments you've made an appointed. Good. Changing my determination because your wife not seeing this as an issue is a huge AH move too.

EddaValkyrie - NTA, but take her to a pediatrician????

BogBabe - ESH. You're both TAs for letting your poor daughter suffer for two weeks before finally deciding to take her to the pediatrician.

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ZippyKoala - NTA but you REALLY need to get her to a paediatrician NOW. If untreated and she keeps being fed dairy, she could be losing vital nutrition she needs to grow. If she is, you need to know the severity and what are good alternatives for her to eat.

TinyRascalSaurus - NTA. Lactose intolerance is a reasonable suspicion from the symptoms. And it's crazy that your wife won't consider cutting out the milk until your daughter can be tested. If something were making my child that sick, I would do anything to not put them through this.

xpotential31 - Info - do you plan to see a medical professional about this?

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Caryria - Have you considered that it’s not an allergy. A couple of years back my daughter had the same explosive nappies for 2 weeks. Only a single poop a day but the nappy may as well not have been there. It would stream out of the nappy, straight down her legs and as soon as it started running she’s start kicking it everywhere.

It was a frigging nightmare. She had a rash as well that wasn’t going away with the pressure test. We took her to the doctor 4-5 times in that 2 week period. Turns out my daughter presents weirdly with tonsillitis. She has some sort of bacterial virus that was running rampart and finally lodge in her tonsils and they were able to start treating it.

One course of antibiotics later and she went straight back to normal. If she was lactose intolerant it’s likely that she would be pooping a lot more than once a day. Maybe not impossible, I’m not a doctor but very unlikely.. ETA: I remembered I wrote a post back after that 2 week period.

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graysonthegrate - NTA omg im so sorry dude. that really sucks. take your daughter to a doctor maybe, your wife is soooo rude about it too. if your wife wants to feed her milk even after she’s lactose intolerant, let her change the diaper

KaleidoscopeNo4431 - NTA I was so ready to yell at you lmao but this is 100% justified

PurpleMarsAlien - YTA. Take your kid to a damn doctor before you randomly give her a medical diagnosis. Yes, it could be lactose intolerance, but lactose intolerance that goes from 0-100 in two weeks time isn't normal lactose intolerance. It's generally a reaction to an illness or infection and in that case, can sometimes be recovered from.

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Trust me, as someone who is from a family of those with lactose intolerance, you don't want a kid who can't have dairy products if you can avoid it. It's hard to get the right amounts of calcium particularly in childhood, and several of my siblings have had later medical issues due to that.

These Reddit takes are bold, but do they hit the heart of the issue? Is the diaper strike a clever stand, or a misstep in parenting?

This story of a diaper strike and a dairy dilemma leaves us pondering the delicate balance of parenting and partnership. The Redditor’s refusal to clean up after his wife’s denial put their daughter’s health front and center, but his tactic sparked accusations of shirking duty. As they await a pediatrician’s verdict, the question lingers: how do you stand up for your child when your partner won’t listen? Have you faced a health dispute with a co-parent? Share your thoughts below—what would you do in this messy situation?

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