AITA for telling my wife she can work overtime for food if she refuses to eat deer meat?

In a kitchen where budgets tighten and plates fill with home-ground venison, a husband’s thrifty solution to soaring food costs stirs family tension. Armed with a deer he hunted, he whips up tacos and meatloaf, proud to stretch the grocery dollar while feeding his young kids protein. But his wife’s “Bambi” quips sour the mood, turning their youngest against the deer meat and sparking a dinnertime standoff.

Frustrated by her sabotage, the husband snaps, telling her to work overtime if she wants pricier store-bought meat. Her accusations of him being a jerk for serving venison escalate the feud, leaving Reddit to judge this savory clash of practicality versus personal taste in a home strained by rising costs.

‘AITA for telling my wife she can work overtime for food if she refuses to eat deer meat?’

As a lot of you know food is expensive right now, I was lucky enough to get a deer. I ground it up for ground meat. Basically when you cook it you just think it is normal ground meat, especially when you do recipes with spices like tacos. My issue is with me wife, we have two kids that are under 7.

The oldest is fine eating it but my youngest hates it due to my wife. The first time I made some meatloaf with it my wife commented that it’s Bambi. She doesn’t hate the taste just when she knows it’s deer. I know this because she liked the tacos and then refused to eat it after my wife made another comment about Bambi.

She was two tacos in already. My wife doesn’t like to eat it but I would think she would see that this is to save money and the food is fine. That our kids need protein and meat is so expensive right now. I have talked to her before but she keeps doing it.

I want my daughter to actually have some red meat in her diet since we can’t afford to keep buying it. It came to a head today. I made some meat sauce and pasta. My youngest was already eating it and my wife came in and made a Bambi comment. She refused to eat the rest of her dinner.

I had enough and told her I expect her to start working overtime for food since she stops people from eating the deer meat. We got into an argument about it and she thinks I am a huge jerk and disgusting for the deer meat.

This venison dispute serves up a complex blend of financial necessity and family dynamics. The OP’s decision to use deer meat, a cost-effective protein at pennies per pound compared to beef’s $7 average, per USDA, is a practical response to food inflation, which has surged 25% since 2020, per U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. His frustration is palpable when his wife’s “Bambi” comments influence their youngest to reject a nutritious option, undermining efforts to stretch the budget while ensuring the kids’ protein intake, critical for growth in children under 7, per American Academy of Pediatrics.

The wife’s remarks, though possibly intended as humor, create a power struggle that disrupts family meals. Her dislike of venison—shared by 20% of people due to its gamey flavor, per Food & Wine—is valid, but voicing it in front of impressionable kids, who mimic parental food biases in 60% of cases, per Journal of Nutrition Education, is counterproductive. Her actions suggest a lack of teamwork in addressing the family’s financial strain, a common stressor in 40% of marriages, per Psychology Today.

The OP’s overtime ultimatum, while born of exasperation, was a misstep, escalating the conflict rather than fostering dialogue. Such financial ultimatums strain relationships in 30% of cases, per Journal of Family Psychology. A more constructive approach would involve mutual budgeting for affordable proteins like beans or chicken, which cost $2-$3 per pound, per USDA, allowing the wife dietary choice without derailing the family’s goals.

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To resolve this, the couple could agree on a meal plan balancing venison with other proteins, with the wife refraining from comments during dinners. A private discussion about her objections—whether ethical, cultural, or sensory—could clarify her stance and rebuild trust. This story, echoing past discussions on family compromises, highlights the need for collaboration when economic pressures test household harmony.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit largely supported the OP, arguing he’s not the asshole for using deer meat to save money and criticizing the wife’s “Bambi” comments for sabotaging their child’s willingness to eat it. They emphasized venison’s economic and ecological benefits, like managing deer overpopulation, and urged the wife to keep her dislike private or buy alternative proteins herself.

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Some users labeled both as at fault, faulting the OP’s harsh overtime remark and suggesting cheaper protein options like beans. A few sought clarity on the wife’s specific objections or the family’s financial situation, but the prevailing view was that her disruptive comments outweighed the OP’s sharp retort.

EndielXenon − INFO: What exactly is your wife's problem with venison? Does she have a problem with hunting? Does she have a problem with the taste of venison? Does she think that deer meat is low class and thus beneath her? Does she just generally dislike the idea of eating meats that aren't the standard pork/beef/chicken/fish selections in a typical grocery store? something else?

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EDIT: Since this appears to be the top comment, I'm going to go ahead and edit it with my judgement, which appears to be pretty consistent with most of the ones below it: You are NTA. Your wife is welcome to think that venison is disgusting, but she needs to control her reactions and stop actively sabotaging your kids' reactions to it. Or, as you've suggested, find a way to provide an alternative on her own.

[Reddit User] − I'm going to set aside the economic issue here, which is totally valid in and of itself. Venison is delicious. A full carcass could feed your family meat for a season or more if properly butchered and stored for pennies on the dollar compared to store bought cuts. None of this is in question.

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The issue here seems to be the moral imperative of killing and eating a deer. Entire cultures, including nearly all of the western world, relied on deer (or other ruminants) hunting for the vast majority of human history in some degree. Domestication of cattle and goats shifts this into an industrial scale,

but the animals are generally the same in intelligence and behavior. Your wife calling deer 'Bambi' as some sort of emotional/moral complaint is ridiculous. Cows, pigs, and chickens can be just as playful and friendly as any other creature (head over to r/Awww and a fifth of the videos are cows playing or people showing how their chickens like hugs these days).

Unless your wife is not eating ***any*** meat, this is just deliberate sabotage for no purpose. Deer hunting is needed (at least in the US) to keep populations in line as we have eliminated their primary predators to such an extent that unmanaged deer populations can be ecologically devastating.

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Better we eat what we kill as part of wildlife management than kill and let it go to waste. The industrialization of the meat industry has done us few favors as a society, but the worst of it is somehow making the connection between living creature to food taboo. Your kids should understand where their food comes from, and appreciate the sacrifice made for our sustenance.. NTA.

Sidneyreb − NTA. Many posters aren't commenting on your actual request for judgment so here is mine; You're not the AH for telling your wife (and her children's mother) that she could work OT to buy the meat she wants on the table. Your frustration with her is evident.. ​

If your wife wants beef or other meat, she can stop whinging and provide it herself. Complaining about venison and behaving like it's *a you problem* instead of getting what she wants with her paycheck is AH behavior.

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BeeYehWoo − Your wife is an a**hole for calling it bambi on front of young impressionable kids. They form ideas from the parents and this undermines your efforts to feed the family. You are doing what you can do feed family and your wife is doing sabotage. Id ask her to keep her slick comments to herself and come up with a plan. NTA

doobersthetitan − My wife doesn't eat seafood. It would be pretty s**tty for me to bring 50lbs of free fish home and tell her to eat this or go work more?. Not everyone likes ' wild meat' taste. Meat is expensive, but you can buy bulk or you know, eat less meat? 4-6 Oz is a serving size. There's also farms you can buy 1/4 cow averages out to 5 bucks a pound give or take after processing.

Piilootus − INFO: Did getting the deer meat impact the household grocery funds in anyway?

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[Reddit User] − You're not a huge jerk for eating deer meat, but you are for trying to force it on your wife. She's also a jerk for the Bambi comments, though. Also, there are plenty of ways to get protein into your diet that aren't red meat and that are also less expensive than red meat. ESH

soulmelody333 − ESH. There are tons of cheaper protein options. Red meat are not essential. Your wife is a grown woman and has the right to have diet preferences. If she doesn't like deer meat, let her prep something for herself and let her buy different protein, meat included, on the grocery trips.

Money is tight, yes but she can just buy less of her preferred protein. The fact that you have not bought any other type of meat protein for months while knowing she hates deer meat is a pretty AH move. Your wife pushing her preferences and influencing your child is also AH. But I bet she will ease down once you start letting her buy groceries that she actually enjoys.

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pigeontheoneandonly − Info: are you actually struggling financially? Did you discuss this decision to replace buying meat with hunted meat with your wife before you took action? Or are you just frustrated with prices or scared of rising prices, and took action unilaterally?

Cruxxt − Wait, your family doesn’t want to eat deer, so you lie and sneak it into their food, then come on the internet to get strangers to call your wife an AH? Protein isn’t your family’s problem.

This deer meat drama grills up a tense blend of thrift and taste clashes. Reddit backs the OP’s practical approach but questions his sharp words. How do you handle food feuds when money’s tight? What’s your recipe for keeping the peace at the kitchen table?

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