AITA for telling my vegetarian daughter it would be easier if she just ate meat?

Pots clattered and tempers flared in a cramped kitchen as a Reddit user and their 20-year-old vegetarian daughter jostled for stove space. Amid the chaos, the OP’s frustration boiled over, snapping that life would be simpler if their daughter just ate meat like the rest of the family. The daughter’s sharp comeback—that the family could try vegetarian meals—left the air heavy with unresolved tension, despite a later apology.

This AITA post dishes up a relatable family squabble over dietary differences and kitchen logistics. The OP’s outburst drew Reddit’s criticism, with users calling for respect for the daughter’s choices. Was the comment a harmless vent or a deeper jab? Let’s stir the pot and explore this culinary clash, where food and feelings collide.

‘AITA for telling my vegetarian daughter it would be easier if she just ate meat?’

A busy family dinner prep turned into a heated exchange over vegetarianism and shared space. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

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I do feel kind of bad about this, but I was just frustrated. My daughter is 20 and been vegetarian for 2 years. Last night I was making dinner for the family and she was making her own separate meal. There was a lot going on and between the 2 of us, every burner on the stove was being used, as well as the oven itself, and the microwave.

There were so many dishes and we have a tiny kitchen so we were getting a bit frustrated with each other being in each others way, admittedly particularly me. I got so frustrated and angry at one point and said 'Guess I'll be doing the dishes. There's SO many.' She said 'I can do them. Jesus, calm down.

I only used 2 dishes anyways, most of them are yours.' I finally said out of frustrated of coordinating our cooking 'You know this would all be so much easier if you just ate meat with the rest of us!' I immediately felt bad when I said it although I didn't apologize until later when we both calmed down.

All she said to me was 'You know you guys could go vegetarian too, or even just eat a vegetarian dinner a couple times a week. Don't blame me.' AITA? I didn't mean it, I was just frustrated, but she's still mad at me for saying that to her.

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This kitchen confrontation reveals the friction that can arise when dietary choices diverge within a family. The OP’s frustration, fueled by a cramped kitchen, led to a passive-aggressive outburst that dismissed their daughter’s vegetarianism—a choice likely tied to ethics or health. The daughter’s response highlighted a missed opportunity for mutual compromise, while the OP’s delayed apology suggests regret but not resolution.

Dr. Melanie Joy, a psychologist studying dietary identities, notes, “Food choices reflect deeply held values, and dismissing them can feel like a personal attack” (Source). The OP’s comment likely stung because it invalidated their daughter’s principles. A 2023 Appetite study found that 45% of vegetarians report family tension over meals, often due to lack of accommodation (Source).

This ties to broader issues of respect in family dynamics. The daughter’s self-sufficiency in cooking her own meals reduces the OP’s burden, yet the outburst framed her as the problem. Advice: The OP could propose a weekly vegetarian family meal, saying, “Let’s try your recipes together.” A kitchen schedule or shared side dishes could ease logistics. Family therapy might address underlying tensions.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit served up spicy takes, with users slicing into the OP’s kitchen outburst. Here’s what the community had to say about this vegetarian family feud:

imveganbtw − YTA and you know it. That’s why you feel bad. She is sticking to her morals and it’s not fair to expect her to stray from them.. On the plus side, you clearly raised your daughter to be an empathic person with integrity.

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unaotradesechable − Yeah YTA. You tried getting mad about the dishes, but then you found out most of them were because of you. Then you just tried to attack her to shut her down completely, which failed.

You know you could eat a vegetarian meal once a week and it wouldn't kill you right? And it would show your daughter that you do actually care about what's important to her, cause she knows your apology was b**lshit.

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You could also cook vegetarian entrees and just have the meat cooked and served separately (stir frys, eggplant lasagna, rice bakes, casseroles, pasta the list is endless) that way your daughter wouldn't have to cook every time and she can eat the meal with you all instead of her own meal.

CAgirl17 − YTA how would you not be? Your daughter made the choice to be a vegetarian, and it sounds like you aren’t being respectful of that. She’s not asking you to make accommodations, and you’re acting like a toddler and throwing a fit. You owe her an apology.

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budding_clover − YTA absolutely. For starters, you went looking to pick a fight with your own daughter. You made a conscious decision, frustrated or no, to antagonize her and instigate a confrontation. That is incredibly petty. Like, everything else I could say about it aside, you are her parent?

Secondly, was she right? Were most of the dishes yours? Even if they weren't, you could have politely and respectfully asked her to help you by working on the dishes she used to cook and eat. That's the most that she owes you.

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As she's not eating the meal you've prepared, she doesn't own you any labor for it - what she's getting out of family dinner is having time to bond with you as your freaking daughter, and she does not have an obligation to you for wanting that. She even offered to wash the dishes for you, according to your own post.

Which, your passive-aggressive tone not-with-standing, was clearly, from her perspective, what you were after. But then you made a conscious decision to escalate the situation? Why? You say you were 'just frustrated,' but you must have intended to get something out of doing that. People don't just do things because of their emotional state.

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I think you really need to take the time to do some self-reflection and figure out exactly what your intentions were, reminding yourself that she offered to give you what you were asking for which was already more than you were owed. Because here's the thing.

I noticed that some of the other answers are brushing aside the idea that you were personally attacking her for her personal dietary choices. But that's exactly what you were doing. Even if you don't realize it, that's the exact message your actions deliver to your daughter.

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From her perspective, she is actually the one being helpful and accommodating of you, even though I know you likely haven't thought of it that way. She's not asking you to go out of your way to put extra strain on you by asking you to prepare one meal for the rest of your family and one separately for her.

She's making her own food and taking that labor off of you. And you repay her for that by telling her that things would just 'be easier' if she were to completely abandon what very well may be a deeply-held social and political value because it's a minor inconvenience.

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Do you have any core values? Something political, or moral, or religious, that you frame your life's choices around? How would you feel if she were to say those same words to you about any of those?

EmpressJainaSolo − YTA, gently.. You’ve done the first step of apologizing. Now do the second: how can you help make it right? It sounds like your daughter is making her own meals because she can’t eat what you are preparing.

Making vegetarian meals once or twice a week, or letting her take over making family dinner, sounds like a nice compromise. Also, generally making sides that can work as a full meal, without your daughter asking, would also be a nice gesture.

rleann718 − YTA. With a little research and practice, you can find how to maybe make half the dish meat-free, or cook two proteins at once so she can have her meat-free protein while you have your meat, and everyone share the sides. You can easily make this a bonding moment and find ways to mesh the dinners and make everyone happy. It almost seems excessive to me for her to be eating an entirely separate meal.

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AbleCustomer − YTA you should also get the rest of the family to clean the pots as it sounds like they don't.

cannacupcake − YTA, and you should apologize. It sounds like your daughter made a decision when she became a legal adult (and I’m refraining from letting myself make assumptions related to the timing), and since then she has made an effort to still have dinner with the family while cooking her own dinner, as opposed to eating alone separately.

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She also seems to have been fine with the arrangement - using minimal dishes to cook her own meal - and I can imagine she felt upset by the frustration you were expressing, and the chaos in the kitchen.

ViolentPlotBunny − YTA Your convenience vs her ethics and health, which I mention because meat could make her quite sick after not eating it for a long time. You certainly could eat a vegetarian meal occasionally. Particularly as apparently you cook for everyone else but not her. And her two dishes are SUCH an imposition. You're frustrated but you're lashing out at the wrong target.

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Purplehopflower − YTA more for your passive/aggressive “I guess I’ll do the dishes” comment. My mom used to pull that crap, and it drove me crazy. It did not make me inclined to want to help and in fact did the opposite and made me want to say “Oh, ok. I guess you will.”

Just kindly ask for assistance in getting them done and they most likely will. Rather than telling your daughter that your life would be easier if she eats meat, could you work out a kitchen use schedule?

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These Reddit roasts grill the OP, but do they overlook the stress of a chaotic kitchen? Is the daughter’s stance fair, or could she meet halfway?

This kitchen showdown over a vegetarian daughter’s meal prep simmered into a broader clash of values and respect. The OP’s frustrated jab at their daughter’s diet sparked hurt feelings and Reddit’s rebuke, but their apology hints at a path forward. Was the outburst a forgivable slip or a deeper misstep? Have you navigated food fights in your family? What would you do to cool this kitchen tension? Toss your thoughts below and keep the convo cooking!

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