AITA for telling my uncle that I honestly don’t care about his feelings, and if he ruins my wedding I won’t forgive him?

Tensions flare like a spark in a dry forest when family grudges spill into wedding plans. A Reddit user, knee-deep in orchestrating their dream wedding, faces a storm brewing between their uncle Chris and future mother-in-law (MIL). Chris, a man who’s carried a chip on his shoulder since losing a coveted job to the MIL, can’t resist tossing barbed comments her way at every pre-wedding gathering. From mocking her resume to hurling insults about her attire, his antics threaten to unravel the couple’s big day.

The bride-to-be, desperate to keep the peace, confronts Chris, bluntly stating she doesn’t care about his wounded pride and won’t forgive him if he derails her wedding. But when cousins call her selfish, she wonders if her harsh words went too far. This tale of workplace resentment and family drama unfolds, pulling readers into a tangle of emotions and loyalties.

‘AITA for telling my uncle that I honestly don’t care about his feelings, and if he ruins my wedding I won’t forgive him?’

My uncle 'chris' is a great guy and our families have always been tight, but I am planning a wedding and he is driving me batshit insane. Chris hates my future MIL, because he worked his whole life at the same company waiting to get into a certain position, and they decided to hire externally.

MIL got the job, but it was hard on Chris because MIL typed her resume on her phone and clearly didn't proof read it. It looked like a high school kid wrote it, and she refused to interview. he is put off by some of her other behavior, but mainly that resume because it was a joke, and he waited his whole life for that position.

Everytime they are in the same room due to pre-wedding festivities, he has to take some dig at her. He said she was too old for the color she was wearing (a color???). He told my mom to not let her talk to my dad, because she will f**k anyone.

He randomly threw a shirt at her when she was wearing a bikini and called her attention seeking (it was a pool party and she was not the only one in a bikini). He wanted to invite her BF to the bachelor party and buy him a h**ker.

He made fun of her for not being married, then told her BF not to marry her because if they had a church wedding the 'stained glass would shatter'MIL actually thinks this is funny, but it is stressing me out. Also MIL's BF loves to play white night and defend her. Mainly he just loves to hear himself talk.

I find him pompous and unbearable, but holy hell does this man love a good argument. I recently sat Chris down and said the comments need to stop. I don't want a shred of drama at my wedding. I don't want to listen to MIL's wind bag BF, and I don't want MIL having amno to trash me to her family that I let this happen.

Chris said he was just having fun and blowing off steam. Then he began to get emotional and said how much it hurts him, and how demeaning it is working under her. I might be an a**hole because I said it is my wedding month and I just don't care about his feelings, and if he ruins this with any drama I won't forgive him.

He apologized, but my cousins later called me and blew up on me about how I was selfish and callous. I feel I might have been a bit of an AH, because I know how much he wanted that job.

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I know how much MIL sucks with her attitude and s**tty resume, and I can't even imagine how she must act at work. I just have a very strong aversion to drama, and don't want to listen to MIL's obnoxious BF.

Family feuds at weddings can turn a joyful day into a soap opera. The Reddit user’s clash with Uncle Chris highlights a classic case of unresolved workplace resentment bleeding into personal relationships. Chris’s fixation on his MIL’s job win—despite her poorly crafted resume—fuels his hostility, while the bride’s sharp rebuke reflects her stress over maintaining harmony. Both sides are caught in a cycle of hurt feelings and clashing egos.

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This situation mirrors broader issues of workplace fairness and family boundaries. A 2019 study from the Journal of Organizational Behavior notes that perceived unfair promotions can lead to long-term resentment, impacting workplace and personal interactions. Chris’s behavior suggests he’s projecting his professional disappointment onto the MIL, using wedding events as his stage.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, states, “Conflict is inevitable, but how we handle it determines whether relationships grow or fracture” . Here, Chris’s inability to separate his professional grudge from family events escalates tension, while the bride’s bluntness risks alienating him further. Both could benefit from clearer communication to de-escalate.

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To navigate this, the bride could set firm boundaries with Chris, calmly reiterating that personal attacks are off-limits at wedding events. Meanwhile, Chris should seek professional support, like career counseling, to process his job-related frustrations constructively. Open dialogue, perhaps mediated by a neutral family member, could help both parties focus on the wedding’s joy rather than past grievances.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s the raw scoop from the online peanut gallery:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your uncle is directing his anger at the wrong person. Instead of being mad at your future MIL, he should be mad at the company for which they work. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

PrivateEyes2020 − Wow. How much must Uncle Chris stink at his job that a woman with a crap resume full of spelling errors who refused to interview got the job instead of an internal hire? He's blaming the wrong people. He can blame himself.

He can blame the upper management who overlooked his contributions to his company in favor of an outsider with a bad resume. But why blame her? However, telling someone you don't care about their feelings was a mistake. If you don't care about his feelings, why should he care about yours?

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Learn this word: nevertheless. Use it. 'I understand you're hurt; nevertheless, I really want my wedding to be drama-free. Please stop.' I know you feel like you're just letting off steam; nevertheless, this is the wrong time and you will hurt my feelings. If I'm important to you, then please stop.'. ESH

[Reddit User] − Chris is NOT a 'great guy', wtf? He's a vile misogynist pig, and shame on you for not calling his b**lshit out. Honestly, he's acting so poorly I don't feel sorry for him at all, not even about the job.

And it's no wonder MIL's BF defends her, no one else will apparently. The way you speak about the guy drips with condescension, and you find him pompous?? Look in the mirror!. Also, you do not get a wedding **month** LOL. You come across as so self-centred throughout the whole post.. ESH

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MisterEHistory − ESH. A wedding month is not a thing.

HannahAnthonia − YTA for not intervening and stopping that disgusting man from harassing FMIL. I have no idea why she continues spending time in your company. There is zero excuse for an adult to behave like that, to blame someone like that, be entitled like that and if someone had sent a resume in crayon they still should have been picked over him since he cannot control himself and has significant delusions.

Of course he didn't get the job, he has worse social skills than 3yo who just dropped their ice cream. Honestly he should have lost his job by now and I'm shocked he hasn't. FMIL needs to protect the other employees plus the company from having such a vicious, unprofessional person around.

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[Reddit User] − ESH. You should have talked to him much earlier. Yeah, it sucks he didn’t get the job he wanted, but his hurtful comments to your MIL are way out of line. It seems like you’re more upset about your MIL’s boyfriend who is just defending her (at least someone is!) Also you don’t get a wedding month. You get one day.

OddTomatillo8568 − You and your uncle are TAs for being raging misogynists, especially after reading your comments. I genuinely feel bad for your husband to be if this is how you talk about his mother... hopefully the poor dude changes his mind,

cause the 🚩🚩🚩🚩 are plain as day. Also, do you really not expect your MILs boyfriend to defend her? Like... huh? And somehow that makes him a wHiTe KnIgHt, looooool. With that... 'wedding month' 🤣🤡

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Particular_Produce63 − NTA. MIL is about to be your family and your uncle is a loose cannon. He can't keep disrespecting her, especially during wedding activities. I think I'd sit down with your parents and get their take.

Have them talk to him. The cousins aren't needed at the wedding if they need to insert themselves in this drama. Furthermore, there's a reason the uncle didn't get the job. He needs to stop blaming others and move on.

Ellejaek − I kinda think Y T A for making excuses for your uncles behaviour and calling the man defending your MIL a windbag. Apparently a badly typed resume on a phone made MIL more qualified for the job than your uncle. He needs to suck it up because a woman was more qualified than him.

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That says a lot about him, not so much about her. He’s just jealous and acting like a huge d**k. Are you TA for telling him to cut it out? No. Your reasoning is selfish, I kinda feel bad for your MIL.. NTA for what you asked about, but I wouldn’t want you for a DIL.

EfB9e9bE − NTA. Your uncle's feeling are not your problem but his obnoxious behavior is. Also, he works under your future MIL and he's going out of his way to insult her? That's way stupid. It's not surprising that he can't advance.

These Redditors brought the heat, with some cheering the bride’s stand against Chris’s antics and others slamming her for dismissing his pain. Some saw Chris as a misogynistic loose cannon, while others felt the bride’s “wedding month” demand was a bit much. Do these hot takes capture the full story, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This wedding saga shows how old grudges can cast a shadow over new beginnings. The bride’s plea for a drama-free day clashed with Chris’s unchecked resentment, leaving her to wonder if her bluntness crossed a line. Balancing family loyalty with personal boundaries is no easy feat, especially when wedding bells are ringing. What would you do if you found yourself refereeing a family feud at your big event? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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