AITA for telling my stepsiblings I only help people I care about which doesn’t include them?

The air was thick with tension in a suburban home, where the hum of a family car became the spark for a fiery showdown. A 16-year-old boy, grappling with a learning disability that makes reading and writing a daily battle, stood his ground against his stepsiblings’ sudden sweetness. For years, their taunts stung like summer wasps, targeting his struggles with schoolwork. Now, with a driver’s license in hand, he’s the one calling the shots, but his refusal to chauffeur his stepsiblings has ignited a family feud.

Blended families are a delicate dance of trust and boundaries, and this teen’s story captures the raw emotion of feeling unseen. His bold stance—declaring he only helps those he cares about—has split opinions, leaving readers wondering: is he justified, or did he cross a line? Let’s dive into this messy, heartfelt saga of loyalty, resentment, and the struggle to belong.

‘AITA for telling my stepsiblings I only help people I care about which doesn’t include them?’

My dad and his wife blended their families 7 years ago. Me (16m) and my brother (13m) come from our parents marriage. Our mom died 9 years ago. Beth (15f), Luke (14m) and Laura (12f) come from dad's wife's first marriage. My dad and his wife also have Katie (5f) together. I have a pretty complicated history with learning disability.

I was diagnosed before my mom died and always struggled with school, reading and writing. I use tech to help me write stuff like this. I can speak fine. But actually reading or writing anything, including numbers, is terrifying to me. It's something that has meant I need a lot of extra help in school. My mom used to read stuff like menus out to me.

My brother actually started doing when he got better at reading too. It's something I can't hide and it's embarrassing as hell. It's something my stepsiblings have made fun of since forever. Beth made a really hurtful comment the first time she realized and her mom corrected her.

But since she and her siblings were not happy with their mom meeting my dad, and since I would do things differently (like I never did homework at home) they would tease me and taunt me behind their mom's back. I spoke up a few times and it got corrected pretty hard. Eventually it got to the point where I no longer saw the point of saying anything.

Around that time it got to the point where I would tell my friends to pretend my stepsiblings weren't part of my family or my life because I didn't want them to be. I got my license over the summer and got permission to drive my dad's car. I've been bringing my brother places sometimes and suddenly my stepsiblings have been trying to be nice to me.

I ignore them. I say no to bringing them places. A few days ago Beth wanted to go to this dance practice related to the dance classes she does. Her mom couldn't take her because she's sick, my dad wasn't around. My dad's car was at home though.

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So she asked me to bring her. I said no. She followed me around begging and I kept saying no. Luke and Laura joined in and they said we're family and family should do things for each other, and how I never help them out. I told them I only help people I care about and it doesn't include them.

Their mom overheard and once my dad got home they told me what I said was really unfair and cruel. They took away my ability to drive the car. Dad wanted me to apologize and say I didn't mean it. But I did. I can see they all think I'm wrong for that.. AITA?

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Family dynamics in blended households can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. This teen’s refusal to drive his stepsiblings reflects deeper wounds from years of mockery. According to Family Psychology, blended families often face challenges in building trust, with 60% of stepchildren reporting feelings of exclusion. The OP’s stepsiblings’ teasing, targeting his learning disability, likely deepened this divide, fostering resentment rather than connection.

The OP’s stance, while sharp, is a cry for respect. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a renowned expert on stepfamilies, notes, “Step-relationships require mutual effort; without it, loyalty conflicts persist” . Here, the stepsiblings’ sudden kindness feels transactional, undermining any sense of family. Their mockery, unchecked for years, signals a failure in parental oversight, leaving the OP to protect himself.

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This situation highlights a broader issue: bullying within families. The National Bullying Prevention Center reports that 20% of teens experience sibling bullying, often dismissed as “normal” rivalry . The OP’s disability made him a target, amplifying the emotional toll. His refusal to help isn’t cruelty—it’s self-preservation.

For solutions, open dialogue is key. The OP could calmly share his hurt with his parents, detailing specific instances of bullying. Parents should enforce consistent consequences for unkind behavior and foster empathy through family discussions. While trust may take time, acknowledging the OP’s pain is a start.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this teen’s stand. Their takes are raw, real, and occasionally laced with humor, like a family dinner where everyone’s got an opinion and a fork to wave.

Avery1929 − NTA. Sit down with your dad and step-mom at a time when you guys can discuss alone and emotions aren't running high, and explain your reasoning and how you feel. Your step-mom needs to understand the depth of hurt that your step-siblings have inflicted on your over the years, because right now they probably just view it as typical step sibling arguments.

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Big__Bang − NTA Write it all down in chronological order, similar to what you wrote above but fill in the gaps with the detail of how many years and what has been said to you and how frequent since you last complained to them. Put it all down in detail how and where it said when they are not around.

Write down that you have witnesses - friends who heard, your brother and they can go speak to them to corroborate. Give both your father and step mother a copy. Write down that you are sad that they failed you and let it happen under their own roof.

And that it was their duty to check in on the person they knew had been bullied not you to go to them.. Tell them its been traumatic for you and that is why you said what you said. If all you get is an apology it still doesnt mean you drive them.

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All it means is that there is alot of work to be done on their side to build a relationship with you without getting any thing in return until there is respect and trust. Or maybe it means acceptance that you cannot have a relationsihp. But dont add all that to the letter - first you put your story down.

Fun_Blueberry_2182 − Nta. They only want to be family when it’s convenient for them.

Accurate-Ad-4905 − NTA. Hopefully your father and stepmother use this as an opportunity to nip this dysfunction in the bud. She decided not to take no as an answer and has always tormented you

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NinscoomFOPsnarn − NTA. They were cruel to you and now they are only being nice cause they want something from you. I wouldn't burn the bridge cause they're pretty young and may not totally understand the consequences of their actions, but I wouldn't go out of my way to help them right now either. Good for you for saying no

Weekly-Total-6842 − Would have been better to have said I only help people who don't mock disabled ppl. Hindsight though eh. Save up, get your own car and get out of there. I don't speak to my oldest sister who I call my half sister (I have 2 half sisters but the younger has actually been there for me and didn't abuse me so i dont call her half sister) because of the things she said,

and done to me and anyone who has had issue with it got told to do one and to go support their abusive wee pal coz her own youngest sister doesn't want anything to do with her. It has been 24 years and I have no regrets other than I wasn't harsher to her than I was. I was 13 when I first refused her in my life. 37 in few days. Witch can rot in hell for abusing a child whilst she was a 28 Yr old adult.

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demonicexgf − NTA.. No one took your side when you were being bullied.. YES it was bullying you were experiencing.. You do not have to do anyone a favor if you do not want to. Period.. You do not have to justify saying no. Just say no. If anyone questions your reasoning, say 'I don't remember them ever treating me like a brother, and I do not feel the need to treat them as such now.'

Accept the 'punishment', don't care about the revoking of privilege. I say this because it is unlikely your parent and step parent will take your side and return the privilege, and it will just make your feel worse expecting support from people that will not give it to you. Protect your pride, protect your peace of mind.

I'd suggest be stubborn because they'd like to treat you as a doormat from what it seems like. Also when your parent and step parent ask you for favors, practice non-cooperation. Respect and support goes both ways. No one can expect something out of a child just because. Love and support is earned from their children by their parents.

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Natural_Garbage7674 − NTA. You said that you stopped speaking up about how cruel your step-siblings were being. I bet your parents thought they'd finally got through to all the children and (wrongly) assumed that things were better. You need to talk to them. 'I may have been harsh with what I said to them.

But they have been cruel to me for as long as I've known them. The *only* time it stopped was when you were in the room and after I got my licence and they realised I now had *use* to them. I would rather not have access to the car than have to spend one minute in an enclosed space unchaperoned with them.

You are punishing me now for not liking the people who have relentlessly bullied me for years, people who only treat me as human when I can be used for their enjoyment, people who you want me to call family but I call tormentors.

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From now on I will be keeping a log of every horrendous thing they say to me which I will present to you at the end of every week. You can decide what you do with this information, but think about the message you're sending me when I'm punished for saying I don't care about them and they aren't for bullying.'

BigDrakow − NTA. How they treated you is inexcusable, they shpuld've been punished more for their behaviour. If the car is not absolutely vital stand your ground.

EllieMacAus19 − NTA. Good on you for standing up for yourself and not letting your stepsiblings manipulate you. I wouldn’t drive them around either. Also, never forget that driving them around is not your responsibility and never will be, as they are not your children.

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These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering his backbone or urging him to document the bullying. Some saw the stepsiblings’ pleas as opportunistic; others suggested a path to reconciliation. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This tale of a teen standing firm against his stepsiblings’ sudden niceness is a raw slice of blended family life. His words were blunt, but they echo a deeper truth about respect and trust. Blended families aren’t built overnight, and healing old wounds takes effort from everyone. The OP’s story invites us to reflect on boundaries and the cost of unresolved hurts. What would you do if you were in his shoes, balancing family pressure with personal peace? Share your thoughts below!

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