AITA for telling my stepmother I don’t care about her religion?

In a quiet suburban home, a 16-year-old sits through another lecture from their stepmother, her voice fervent with religious zeal. The air grows thick with tension as she urges them to study the Bible and join church activities, a familiar push that’s intensified since their younger half-siblings joined the family. Raised by an agnostic mother, the teen feels like an outsider in their father’s devout household.

This Reddit AITA post unveils a raw clash of beliefs and boundaries. The stepmother’s insistence on conformity erupts into a fiery argument when the teen bluntly declares they don’t care about her religion, urging her to back off. The fallout accusations of disrespect from their father and stepmother—stirs questions about personal autonomy and the cost of standing firm in a divided family.

‘AITA for telling my stepmother I don’t care about her religion?’

My dad married my stepmother when I was 7. They were together since I was 4. She's very religious. My dad became very religious after marrying her. My mom is not religious and leans more agnostic. I am definitely more my mom when it comes to religion. In part because my extended family are all similar in belief.

After my dad married my stepmother they wanted me to be part of their religion but my mom said no. I have been to church with them but that's about it and I never liked going. It's boring as hell and to me it's all fake and there are cruel elements to it.

Now that I'm 16 and I have younger half siblings there is more of a pressure on me to conform and be religious too. They have tried talking me around, but mostly my stepmother. She's an ass about the whole thing. She is always telling me to study the bible, telling me I should get involved in church activities.

We got into a huge fight three years ago because I refused to attend a church camp. My mom didn't want me to go but left the decision to me. Knowing it was my decision pissed my stepmother off so much. She told me I was rejecting a fun opportunity.

I told her I didn't want anything to do with church and I definitely didn't want my summer dominated by it. Even three years later it's a huge issue because my half siblings often ask me why I don't go to church with then anymore and why I don't have a really biblical name, etc.

My stepmother doesn't like me being honest with them and my dad has her back. The other day it got heated because she told me I am disrespecting the family religion and how ashamed I should be to live a life without god.

I told her I don't care about her religion and she needs to back off because she's making it more and more unlikely that I will ever tolerate anything religious again.. She and my dad called me disrespectful and rude.. AITA?

Navigating religious differences in a blended family is a delicate dance, and this teen’s clash with their stepmother reveals deep fault lines. The stepmother’s relentless push for conformity disregards the teen’s autonomy, while their blunt rejection reflects frustration from years of pressure. Both sides feel disrespected, but the root lies in clashing values.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist specializing in adolescence, notes, “Teens need space to form their own identities, especially around beliefs” (DrLisaDamour.com). At 16, the teen is asserting their agnostic stance, shaped by their mother’s influence, but the stepmother’s insistence risks alienating them further. Her anger over the teen’s refusal to attend church camp three years ago suggests a need for control rather than connection.

ADVERTISEMENT

Religious discord in families is common, with 25% of U.S. teens reporting parental conflict over faith, per a 2020 Pew Research study. The stepmother’s approach—criticizing the teen’s stance and involving younger siblings—escalates tension, while the father’s support of her stance sidelines the teen’s perspective. This dynamic could erode family trust long-term.

A healthier path involves mutual respect. The stepmother should honor the teen’s beliefs, as they tolerate her faith. Family counseling could foster dialogue, helping set boundaries like limiting religious discussions. The teen might calmly reiterate their stance to their siblings, emphasizing personal choice, to maintain family ties while staying true to themselves.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit overwhelmingly backed the teen, arguing that forcing religion violates personal autonomy. Users criticized the stepmother’s aggressive tactics and the father’s complicity, seeing their accusations of disrespect as hypocritical given their disregard for the teen’s beliefs.

ADVERTISEMENT

Some suggested the teen’s bluntness was understandable but advised softer responses to avoid escalating conflict. The community emphasized that respect is a two-way street, urging the stepmother to model the tolerance she demands from the teen.

Volcheka − NTA They're trying to guilt you into religion? That's why most kids raised in religious households hit the ground running when they turn 18.

That1fluffyGamer − NTA.. They expect you to respect their religion, they should respect your choices as well

ADVERTISEMENT

thgbonus − NTA. I wouldn’t join their cult of make-believe either.

haemaker − NTA. 'Dad, I am 16 now. In two years, the frequency and duration of my visits to you will be under my exclusive control. Neither you nor the court of law will have any say. If this is a preview of what our future relationship will be like, I have zero incentive to spend any time at all here.

At some point, I will probably get married and have children. If you enjoy attending weddings, baby showers, visiting with grandchildren, have people come visit you in the nursing home...all of these decisions are being made now.'. Thank the flying spaghetti monster the judge gave your mom custody. She sounds like a great parent.

ADVERTISEMENT

Spicyninja − NTA, she's mad she can't brainwash you. She doesn't care about your feelings/opinion. You're helping your siblings by showing that they have a choice, which she's not giving them.

[Reddit User] − NTA- tell them the only church you’ll consider going to and join is the Church of Satan! That’ll get them to back off really quick!. https://www.churchofsatan.com/?amp Edit- thanks for the awards I think? Or do what the guy who commented below and go to that church! The Satanic Temple!

Lyrina8 − Good for you for standing your ground! NTA. However, I hope you explain to your stepsibs that sometimes adults find that they believe different things or have different relationships with God. Something that says 'do what your parents say for now, you'll get a choice later' without flat out saying it

ADVERTISEMENT

Unit-Healthy − NTA. Can't you just stay with your mom? You're old enough to make that decision, in most jurisdictions.

Duncle_chuy − NTA. Disrespecting the family religion? More like disrespecting your boundaries. From what you say, you’ve tried multiple times to establish that boundary, and they can’t seem to abide.

FPFan − NTA, pick up a little statue from some other religion, maybe the goat with the kids, the Statue of Baphomet, and make a little poster with the 7 guiding principles and put it up in your room.. Tenets. The Satanic Temple has seven fundamental tenets:.

ADVERTISEMENT

* One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.. * The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.. * One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone.

* The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. * Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

* People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. * Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought.

ADVERTISEMENT

The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word. And if they say anything, tell them they are being disrespectful and rude, and that you tolerate their beliefs, they need to tolerate yours.

This story lays bare the challenge of balancing personal beliefs with family expectations. When faith divides a household, how do you carve out space for your truth? Share your experiences—have you faced pressure to conform, and how did you navigate it? What’s the best way to foster respect across differing beliefs?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *