AITA for telling my sisters I don’t pay for their shenanigans, like my Dad did?

Picture a tight-knit family rocked by change: a dad, sidelined by Long Covid, hands over his business to his son, a 31-year-old go-getter who’d carved his own path after years of strict lessons at dad’s side. The deal, sealed with a hefty sum, keeps mom and dad comfy retirement dreams intact, bills paid, and a familiar lifestyle humming along.

Enter the sisters three young women, once lavished with cars and trips by a doting dad, now turning expectant eyes to their brother. Tensions bubble as two lean on old habits, clashing with his no nonsense stance, while the youngest charts a humbler course. A family gathering ignites the spark, and words fly in a showdown of duty and dollars.

‘AITA for telling my sisters I don’t pay for their shenanigans, like my Dad did?’

My (31 M) Dad (57) was infected with Covid-19 last year and suffered on Long-Covid-Syndroms which no longer allows him to run his business or work heavily at all. I had worked with my father since I was 16 years old, but left with 26 and started working in a high Position in a Company which paid more and respected my skills.

My Dad was very strict with me as his Oldest Son and spoiled my little Sisters (Amy 19 F, Lisa 25 F, Jenny 27F), that lead to disagreements with him as I worked on his side, and was the main reason why I left to work elsewhere.

My Dad was force to retire early, and I offered him to buy his business, so he can have an easier retirement and can allow himself and my Mom(58) the same living standards. He agreed, and I paid him (high six numbers).

My Parents were in the position to pay my sisters, for them to have Vacations, for their luxurious Cars or for my youngest Sister's College. My Sisters start to ask me for Payments and most of them I have rejected, at the moment I pay only my youngest sister's College as long she keeps her grades in a good Level.

Worth to mentioning is also they were totally dependent on my Father's payments, despite they are educated, and my parents has paid their college (I was never get paid for education, I had to earn everything).

Both Lisa and Jenny are married and are Housewives, their partners are not bad (good Personalities, and I am glad my sisters don't find any assholes to marry), but have low paying jobs. The relationship to Lisa and Jenny get worse, they're simply ignoring me totally or telling me I am a bad Brother, while Amy is the reasonable one and can understand my decision.

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They don't even accept my invites for eating somewhere, only Amy is different. At a family gathering I told them finally, that I will help them if they are in need but don't pay for any of their shenanigans, and they have to start to work if they want to have luxuries.. ​. AITA here?. 

A son’s bold move to buy his dad’s business after Long Covid hit hard secured his parents’ golden years. His sisters, used to dad’s open wallet for luxuries, now tap him for cash—two married housewives and a college student in the mix. His line: college help for one, but no blank checks for extravagance.

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Entitlement can root deep in families. A 2021 Pew Research study shows 40% of young adults got parental financial help, but reliance past early adulthood stunts independence. The sisters’ lean on dad’s ways vacations, cars clashes with the brother’s push for self-reliance, especially for married adults.

Psychologist Dr. Pauline Boss, expert on family stress, notes, “Boundaries clarify roles; without them, families falter”. Here, the son draws a firm line support for need, not greed halting a cycle of dependence. His aid to the youngest’s education nods to equity, balancing past slights he faced.

Growth starts with action: the sisters, educated and able, can work for wants, leaning on spouses or jobs. A family chat calm, clear could reset expectations, with dad backing the shift. Saying “no” to shenanigans builds resilience, nudging all toward a stronger, fairer footing.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit roars in the brother’s corner, cheering his stand against entitled demands. Users see the older sisters—married, educated—as fit to fend for themselves, not milk a sibling for luxuries.

Kudos fly for funding the youngest’s college, a nod to her effort. Shade lands on the others’ cold shoulder, with calls for jobs and a wry jab at the “bank of big brother” staying shut. Tough love rules here.

GreekAmericanDom − NTA. The two older sisters are adults married to adults and should be self sufficient. They should not expect hand outs.. Kudos on paying for the youngest’s education. Don’t be too strict on “keeping her grades up.”

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Sweeper1985 − I had to read this about three times to see if I missed something. Do I have this straight - your sisters want you to just give them money for no reason except your parents used to, and you bought out your father's business? Er... NTA. But yeah please do keep paying your youngest sister's tuition if she can't otherwise fund it, as that's important for her future.

DaisyInc − NTA. In spoiling them and handing them everything they ever asked for, your dad did your sisters a huge disservice. Now they're clueless as to how to get by in the real world.. They are all healthy, educated, and with great support systems around them. They'll make do.

Outside-Question − NTA. The bank of dad is closed and the bank of big brother isn't taking their business. You're not a cash cow and it's reflective of who they are that they treat you like this.

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tonks-lupin1313 − NTA - they need to grow up. Question though: why isn’t dependable daddy paying anymore?

Status-Pattern7539 − NTA. You’re not their father and you are not responsible for them. Hell, your father should have stopped being responsible for them when they became adults.

They have become spoilt and entitled. You are completely in the right by saying they should get a job if they want luxuries. Not the type of family you want to keep in contact with anyway.

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[Reddit User] − NTA.. Were their plans to be financially dependant on your father for their whole lives. Have they not realised there would be a time where this was no longer going to be possible and with your parents getting older they would likely start to lean on them all, not necessarily financially but very much physically and emotionally.

Had they not every considered or even spoken to you father about his retirement and how they would then need to find some independence? It's just a strange way to live and think in my mind. You don't owe them, it's wonderful and very fair that you made sure the youngest could stay in college, that's an important one.

I'd suggest to be open, talk to them about their plans, say you will support them (not financially) in their decisions, but that they should never have simply assumed they would always have their lives paid for.

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You say you brought the business, did you sell it on, is it something that could stay in the family, would your sisters want to be involved? Is that something you'd consider?. Either way I think you've done the right thing.

[Reddit User] − I’m thinking this is a cultural thing? My parents wouldn’t dream of supporting us as adults, we all work. I don’t know a single person who does this. As this is absolutely alien to me NTA but I think you need to have a few conversations about equality etc

indignant-loris − They expect you subsidise their lives? From your hard work? Why would you? Let them support themselves. They're fully adult married women. They need to get jobs or rely on their husbands. NTA

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Ok-Spare-8232 − NTA. Unless it was in the agreement when you bought the business that you had to keep payments to them, it's not your responsibility do support grown adults. And even though it is a very nice gesture to pay for the education of the youngest. and will make things equal for the female siblings, not even that is your obligation.

And again, it is a very nice gesture, and I'm petty and paranoid, so if I knew that my youngest wasn't treating me differently just because of the 'college fund' and really cares for me, I'd even give her some spending money(given she still keeps her grades up) if I could afford, to help her focus more on her studies and to p**s off the older sisters even more, but I'm petty like that.

A son’s takeover of dad’s business flipped family dynamics, with sisters chasing old handouts and meeting a firm “work for it” wall. He backs the youngest’s studies, but shenanigans get no dime, sparking a rift. Duty, fairness, and growing up collide in this saga. What would you do with siblings banking on your wallet? Share your takes, stories, or wisdom below let’s hash out this family face-off together!

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