AITA for telling my sister we won’t be coming to thanksgiving since she can’t get her kids lice under control?

A 27-year-old woman faced a tough call: skip her sister’s Thanksgiving dinner to protect her cherished long hair from a persistent lice outbreak in her sister’s home. For over a month, her sister’s kids have battled lice with no end in sight, despite shampoos and combs. Saying no to the family gathering sparked a firestorm—her sister lashed out, calling her selfish, and other relatives piled on, insisting a ponytail would keep her safe.

But with the risk of infestation looming, she’s standing her ground. Is she wrong for prioritizing her health over family tradition? This story stirs up a heated debate about balancing self-care with holiday expectations.

 

AITA for telling my sister we won’t be coming to thanksgiving since she can’t get her kids lice under control?

A Month-Long Lice Nightmare

So as stated, my(27F) sisters(35F) kids(12M, 10F) have lice, she’s been trying to get rid of them for like a month but they keep coming back. She’s tried shampoos, special...

Thanksgiving Plans Derailed

The holidays are starting to come up and she still has yet to get it under control. I have extremely long hair that I spend a lot of time caring...

A Heated Family Blowup

When pressed why I said it’s because of the lice infestation, to which she freaked out and called me a b**ch, saying she’s tried everything and that the family will...

Family Pressure Mounts

Later on different family members called to also tell me I was being selfish and that if I wear my hair up I should be fine (Doubtful). This is a...

Edit: Not to be rude, but I don’t need any more lice tips and treatments lol.

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This clash pits personal health against the weight of family holiday traditions. Lice are no small matter—highly contagious, they thrive in close quarters like a festive dinner, making her caution understandable. She’s not just shielding herself but also preventing potential spread to others.

Some might say she should show up to keep the peace, especially since her sister’s clearly stressed out. But hosting a gathering amid an uncontrolled lice problem is reckless, risking everyone’s comfort and health.

Dermatologist Dr. Sonia Batra from the American Academy of Dermatology warns, “Lice can survive off the human body for up to 48 hours, making items like furniture or towels potential vectors” (Source). This supports her fear that even a ponytail might not be enough.

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She should stick to her guns but could soften the blow by suggesting an alternative—like a restaurant for Thanksgiving to keep the celebration lice-free. Offering her sister resources, like a pediatrician referral, shows care without compromising safety. Therapy or a calm family discussion might help address the underlying tension, but only if both sides are open.

We’re often told family comes first, but protecting your health in a clear-risk scenario like this isn’t selfish—it’s smart. Her family’s guilt-tripping overlooks the real issue: a host’s responsibility to ensure a safe environment.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The online crowd roared in her favor, shocked at the idea of hosting a holiday bash in a lice-infested home.

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Most users called her sister’s decision absurd, urging her to hold her ground to avoid a creepy-crawly disaster.

Erythronne − NTA! ! Why is she having people over to her house when she has a lice infestation? ? I swear some people’s brains are fried

caucasian88 − Lol your sister is an i**ot for having people in her house right now. I'm sure the family will be overjoyed when they all go home with lice.

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BlueGreen_1956 − NTA Sorry but no way I would be going.

mrporterisonreddit − That’s like inviting somebody over for a sleepover, pajama party and having bedbugs at the same time. I would stay far away from that house, and I would...

gufiutt − NTA — head lice? OMG no, I would not be showing up for that holiday get together. I mean it happens and I’m not immune to it but...

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KeelyforPresident − I couldn’t even read OP’s entire post bc I started gagging. It is FOUL that she wants to cook and serve food to people in her lice-infested home....

A few acknowledged her sister’s stress but still backed her choice to prioritize safety.

RosieDays456 − **NTA** from everything I have read up on lice, I would not go until she has lice under control and neither should rest of family - she is...

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Wow how long has it been going on ? Has your sister checked herself for lice and anyone else living in house ? I assume she has talked to school...

She needs to know what is going on at school - how many kids have lice and if they are having issues getting rid of them - If no other...

most likely school or daycare and every parent needs to start checking their kids Also, assuming and hoping she has had them to their pediatrician, if not then she needs...

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Their pedi should be able to get them in asap with a lice issue that will not go away Pedi should have the latest treatments available since some over the...

Some couldn’t resist offering lice fixes, despite her clear request to skip the advice.

No_Noise_5733 − She needs to boil wash all bedding and towels as well. as all treat the heads on a daily basis. You are right to stay awsy.

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Imaginary-Yak-6487 − NTA. My stepdaughter always had lice when she’d visit us. We would treat it, & every thing else in the house. Send her home with the treatment &...

We would leave SD bag outside the door so we could take it to the laundromat, bc I’m not washing that with our clothes. We treat it. It was a...

Her mom cussed me & said I’m not her mother & to mind my own business. I said you send your child over here covered in lice. How about you...

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Snurffitheboo − NTA, but I have some advice. The lice are most likely in the car the kids ride in. This happened to my SIL. She tried everything, but for...

This story lays bare the tricky balance between guarding your health and meeting family demands. The overwhelming support for her choice shows it’s not just about avoiding lice—it’s about respecting your own boundaries. If you were invited to a holiday dinner with a lice problem, would you go or stay home? Drop your thoughts below!

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