AITA for telling my sister there is nothing that would ever make me ask her to be my bridesmaid?

In a once-tight sisterly bond, betrayal sours the joy of wedding planning. A 24-year-old bride-to-be, stung by years of her younger sister’s lies—false promises, bullying claims, even a cheating accusation that cost her dearly—draws a hard line. When her sister demands to be a bridesmaid, the bride shuts it down, sparking family backlash.

Picture the sting: a childhood ally turned adversary, with parents blindly siding against her. This Reddit AITA post unearths raw wounds of trust and loyalty, leaving readers debating: was the bride too harsh, or was her refusal a justified stand against a toxic past?

‘AITA for telling my sister there is nothing that would ever make me ask her to be my bridesmaid?’

This involves me (24f) and my sister (23f). We were really close for 10 years. I loved having a sibling so close in age. Sometimes I felt like my parents babied her more than was fair, but her and I were cool. She was a friend and not just my sister and I would have done anything to protect/defend her.

We both got busier for a while and it was after the business started that I notice I would get into trouble a lot more and it never made sense. I was told I was leaving my sister behind, that I needed to learn not to be mean. My parents would talk about seeing me do stuff I had never done.

I was so confused. Then one night I had been at a friends house and just got home. When I went upstairs I heard talking downstairs, went down, and heard my sister say that I had told her we could play together but had ditched her for my friend instead and never even told her.

The next morning dad told me he remembered me promising my sister to play with her and how I never followed through and that was not a good big sister move. I told him I never promised that but he shut me down. This continued for months. She would say I had said something that I didn't, or that I was mean to her,

that I let her be bullied, that I was pushing her away all the time and breaking promises. None of this was true. I was busier with school and extra curricular stuff but we still spent time together. It wasn't as much though but we couldn't have spent the same time together.

I told her to stop. She told me there was no way because I didn't get to ditch her for my friends, that she should have gotten all my spare time. I told her it wasn't fair and she had friends too. Our relationship turned bitter on my part afterward. I started to hate her instead of loving her. We would fight anywhere and everywhere.

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Eventually, it built up and up and when I was 17 and she was 16, she went to our high school principal and said I had cheated on a test and that I had told her at home. My parents were called and I was investigated. Even though the school cleared me, my parents still believed it AND I missed out on a great opportunity because the allegations were still being investigated.

I never forgave her for that. A couple of times after we both moved out she told extended family members about all the 'bullying' I subjected her to. It further reinforced my dislike of her, maybe even true h**red. Now I'm getting married. I asked my two closest friends to be my bridesmaids. My sister found out about this and told me I should have asked her, and told me she wanted to do it.

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I told her there was nothing in the world that would make me ask her and I would sooner have no bridesmaid than have her as one. She called me a b**ch and now I am getting hassle from my family too. My parents have also tried but they're not even getting an invite because I blame them for believing all this and not putting a stop to it. But I worry I crossed a line.. AITA?

Family betrayals cut deep, especially when lies reshape relationships. The bride, once close with her sister, faced years of fabricated stories—broken promises, bullying accusations, and a cheating claim that nearly derailed her future. Her refusal to include her sister as a bridesmaid reflects a need to protect her peace, clashing with her sister’s entitlement and their parents’ blind support.

This highlights a broader issue: sibling rivalry escalating into manipulation. The sister’s lies, enabled by their parents, cost the bride opportunities and trust. Dr. Susan Forward, a therapist specializing in family dynamics, says, “Toxic siblings often use deceit to control narratives; setting boundaries is crucial for healing.” The bride’s decision to exclude her sister and parents prioritizes her mental health over familial pressure.

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The sister’s demand to be a bridesmaid ignores her past harm, while the parents’ failure to intervene enabled the cycle. For resolution, the bride might consider no-contact boundaries, as Reddit suggests, and secure her wedding with passwords or security. Readers facing similar betrayals should document incidents and seek therapy to process resentment.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s dishing out some sharp takes, blending support with a pinch of humor. Here’s what users think about this sisterly showdown:

jadepumpkin1984 - Nta. Password everything so no messing with the wedding

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Imkode8719 - NTA, they crossed a line, not you. When you want someone to be your bridesmaid it's because she is important to you. Usually that's a sister if you have one, because of what they mean to you. You don't feel this way about your sister. Furthermore she did you wrong in so many ways and doesn't seem to feel sorry, so you would be right not to invite her at all. Same goes for your parents

Downtown-Command-295 - NTA. Like, SUPER not the a**hole. She lied about and slandered you for years and now pops up pretty as you please wanting to be a bridesmaid? No effing way. No lines crossed on your part, LOTS of lines crossed on theirs.

[Reddit User] - **NTA** AT ALL You're absolutely right, your parents did fail you, and her by not getting her in line when they still had a chance. It sounds like you need to go no contact (start blocking them from your socials etc.), and start protecting your wedding.

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Use passwords with all your vendors and hire security in case they show up, because she sounds beyond vindictive and jealous enough to do something to destroy it. I'll never understand how siblings can be so jealous of their family members happiness and success.

It is truly a disgusting trait, and shows a major lack of character. And your extended family jumping on the bandwagon? Have you ever told them what she did - maybe it's time to put her on blast. I have zero empathy for people that actively work to hurt others.. You didn't cross a line, but make sure you don't let THEM cross YOUR lines.. And congrats on the upcoming nuptuals!

[Reddit User] - NTA Your sister not only destroyed your relationship with her, but ruined your relationship with your parents and almost destroyed your education and reputation. You have to protect yourself. The lies could continue into accusing you of affairs, theft, fraud, violence against her, goodness knows what else.

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You have to be NC with her, because if your parents believed her, others will too. Don't forget to install motion cameras on your marital home and you might need a couple security guys at your wedding. Don't give anyone a house key. I have seen someone start out like this and they did escalate and ended up in prison.

blodewerdd - NTA it seems like she's the one doing all the bullying and she's trying to make everything about herself.. If she were your bridesmaid she'd probably find a way to make your big day about her as well.

Jainer99 - Wow this is a deeply manipulative person you have as your sister, further enabled by your parents who don’t seem to have put two and two together. A very definite NTA. I hope you have a lovely wedding free of all that drama. Don’t feel guilty, at the end of the day real family is chosen, not inherited.

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HistoricalDelay8260 - Had a friend with a sister like that. She’d just shout randomly “Mom, Jack’s messing with me” from somewhere in the house. Mom didn’t believe him when he said he wasn’t even in the room with her. Until.. the day she did it and he was sitting in the kitchen, eating a piece of cake, with their mom and the housekeeper.

MindlessGalaxyy - NTA. STRONG NTA. Honestly I’m in shock after reading this. It would honestly maybe be even in your best interest not to talk to them for a while, maybe really make them sit and think on what they’ve done. (maybe they’ll never realize who knows) Sometimes cutting toxic out of your life is harder to do when it’s family.

But, sometimes, and I say this might be one of those cases, it’s worth it. She’s trying to control and manipulate not just you but your family into thinking you have to spend every little second with ur little sister.. who acts like she’s still 12 btw.

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This isn’t going to change anytime soon bc of two big major factors: 1. She’s been spoiled her whole life by your parents always adhering to her every whim. 2. She’s never had to grow up. I wish you the best of luck, and try your best to enjoy your wedding with no guilt. You deserve it.

Equivalent_Spread119 - OP, are you sure you aren't me? This read like something out of my childhood. There was a time when I would have considered my younger sister being my maid of honor, but I cut her out of my life after she helped influence my parents into throwing me out on the streets.

I was homeless and lost my place at my college bc of her. If I ever get married, she will not be invited. NTA, btw. Do yourself a favor and go NC. When I go over to my parent's house now, I just pretend she doesn't exist.

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These comments hit hard, but do they fully grasp the pain of a bond broken by lies?

This bride’s story is a gut-punch of betrayal, where a sister’s lies turned love to loathing. Was she right to slam the door on her sister’s bridesmaid hopes, or did she go too far? Would you forgive a sibling’s deceit for a wedding day truce, or cut ties for good? Share your thoughts below!

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