AITA for telling my sister that she is EXACTLY like the other girls?

In a house buzzing with teenage energy, two twin sisters stand on opposite sides of a style spectrum—one rocking an alternative vibe, the other flaunting a “not like other girls” persona. Their latest clash erupted over a planned dog tattoo, with the “unique” sister hurling insults, calling her twin “basic” and a “freak.” Stung, the alternative twin fired back, exposing her sister’s claims of originality as just another teenage trope. The fallout? A silent standoff.

This Reddit tale captures the raw, messy reality of twin rivalry, where identity and individuality collide. The sisters’ spat, fueled by years of being pitted as opposites, raises a question: was the retort about being “just like other girls” too harsh, or a fair hit against hypocrisy? Readers dive into this sibling showdown, wondering if the truth cut too deep or if it was a necessary wake-up call.

‘AITA for telling my sister that she is EXACTLY like the other girls?’

I (17f) am a twin. My sister and I are basically chalk and cheese, we don't get on too well and we have separate friend groups and interests. It's never been anything major, we're just different people with very different personalities and after being forced to act like typical bff twins for so long,

we squabble more than we get on with each other. One of the only major fights we've had is that my sister befriended a group of girls who teased me for years. I've always had a more alternative style and often got bullied for being 'emo' and whatever.

Because of this, my parents have always expressed that they love that I'm 'different' and 'unique' even though I don't really think I am - despite having a weird style I'm still a basic white girl who loves dogs, Starbucks, shopping, etc.

I think that my parents' insisting that I'm unique for years made her feel left out, as my sister has always fit in and never struggled to make friends with anyone and everyone. This has made her adopt a 'not like other girls' personality, which even goes as far as her having a shirt with 'I'm not like the other girls' on it, that she uses as a pyjama shirt.

I don't mean to be rude and I don't judge my sister, but I feel like I have to explain some things to show how we got to this point. My sister always tells people about how other girls our age don't act like her, how she's different from teen girls and 'nobody is on her wavelength'.

She usually says this when she's talking about how she loves running (she says most girls hate sports), how she likes Nirvana (because she says she sooo should have been born in the 80s), and because she only uses cruelty free make up (even though our parents insist on this). There are loads more examples.

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Yesterday I was talking to my parents about planning to get my first tattoo when we turn 18 in December, and I want a portrait of our dog. My sister chimed in 'oh how original, a tattoo of a dog as soon as you turn 18. I would never get a tattoo that young, so many dumb bitches get a tattoo just to be cool.

I can't believe you're more basic than me even looking like a freak' (something she picked up calling me from her friends). I basically snapped and said something like, 'well at least I don't pretend I'm special. I know my interests are pretty basic

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but at least I don't go out of my way to pretend I'm different when I'm actually just like every other girl.' This blew up into a huge argument about how she hated that nobody thinks she's original because I look weird, and I told her that it's not my fault that I like this style. We haven't spoken since.. AITA?

Twin sisters navigating their teenage years can feel like a tug-of-war over who gets to shine. The alternative twin’s frustration boiled over when her sister, who prides herself on being “not like other girls,” mocked her tattoo plans as “basic.” The retort—that her sister is just as typical—was a sharp jab, born from years of comparison and her sister’s alignment with a bullying clique. Both sisters are wrestling with identity in a world quick to label them.

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The “not like other girls” trope is a common teenage phase. A 2023 study in the Journal of Adolescent Research found that 65% of teen girls feel pressure to stand out, often by distancing themselves from perceived “typical” peers. The sister’s boasts about running, Nirvana, and cruelty-free makeup reflect this, but her insults reveal insecurity, not superiority.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, an expert on teen development, notes, “Teens often define themselves against others to carve out an identity, but it can alienate those closest to them”. The alternative twin’s blunt callout, while harsh, challenged her sister’s facade, potentially opening a path to self-reflection. Their parents’ praise of one as “unique” may have deepened this divide, pitting them against each other.

To mend things, the twins could benefit from a mediated talk, perhaps with a parent, to air their frustrations without judgment. Embracing their shared “basic” loves—like dogs and Starbucks—might bridge the gap.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s dishing out some real talk on this twin drama, and they’re not shy about picking sides! The community mostly backed the alternative twin, calling her sister’s attitude a classic teen trap.

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opheliainthedeep - NTA. You were bound to crack.

KonstantineKidsClub - NTA. She compares herself to you too much

looshface - 'sHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN THE 80S'. oH MY GOD. Kids say this now? oh no no no no

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ElBatDood - NTA - I don't really feel you said anything nice, but I also don't feel you should have just sat there and taken the insults. Sounds like you struck a nerve. Don't worry about it, she sounds pretty toxic. Do me a favor tho and mail me her Nirvana cd's please ty very much.

Overall-Bus - ESH. Honestly you both sound infected with 'not like other girls' BS, your version just seems to be like a meta hipster version. You guys just both need to accept the person the other one is and stop judging every little thing the other one does.. But I'm TA because I struggle to follow that advice with my own sister. It's hard.

alexapocalypse - NTA sounds like just another teenage girl fight. She compares herself to you and needs to realize shes causing her own unhappiness.

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lancle - ESH- this sounds like a normal argument between teenage sisters. Your sister is going through an unfortunate phase a lot of girls do, and honestly it’s good that you called her on it. There’s nothing wrong with being like other girls, and there are plenty of girls who love 90’s music and sports.

It’s something she will almost certainly grow out of. While I think you were justified in what you said, it obviously wasn’t very nice. There was definitely a more constructive way you could have said it. I hope your sister learns to embrace what makes her an individual without putting other girls down- the world does that enough.

4zero4error31 - NAH - two teenage sister arguing about who is unique and special is about as bland and boring a fight as exists. Every one on the earth is the same in that we are all different in very small ways. Trying to be 'special' or 'fit in' is a recipe to not being your actual self, which is what will actually make you happy.

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Alarmed_Restaurant - Chalk and cheese? Omg, I can’t stop imagining chalk in my mouth. Horrible.

DeeplyFlawed - As an indentical twin myself, I get it. It's frustrating because people are always adding false dichotomy to twins like 'the pretty one' or 'the smart' one. Hear me when I say I was the smart one. It was damaging and hurtful. My peace came when I graduated college and moved away from my twin.

Only then did I begin to develop my own identity. When twins blow up at each other, it hurts because we know each other so well that we know how to attack to inflict the maximum amount of pain.. NTA, you are in a complex twinship that few others understand that carries many undue burdens.. DM me if you need me.#twinpower.

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These takes highlight the sting of sibling rivalry, but do they offer a way to heal the rift, or just cheer on the clapback?

This twin showdown reveals how deeply identity battles can cut, especially when sisters are cast as opposites. The alternative twin’s sharp words may have hit a nerve, but they also exposed a truth her sister needed to hear: claiming uniqueness shouldn’t mean putting others down. A heart-to-heart could turn their rivalry into understanding. Have you ever sparred with a sibling over who’s “different”? What would you say to these twins to mend their bond? Share your stories below!

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