AITA for telling my sister that me not giving my child a vintage name doesn’t mean she can’t?

Baby names can spark joy—or a family feud. For a 29-year-old mom-to-be, picking “Lyric” for her daughter clashed with her sister’s vintage name obsession. Dreaming of cousins with old-school names like Edith or Harold, her sister pushed for a matching style, envisioning a granny-themed photoshoot. But when lists, TikToks, and pleas didn’t sway the couple, tears flowed. The sister sobbed, claiming her dream was ruined unless their babies’ names aligned, accusing her of being dismissive.

Standing firm, the woman insisted her choice doesn’t stop her sister from using vintage names. Now, she’s questioning if her blunt boundary crossed a line. Was she too harsh, or is her sister’s vision too controlling? This Reddit tale unravels the tangle of family expectations, personal freedom, and the power of a name. Can sisters find harmony amid naming wars?

‘AITA for telling my sister that me not giving my child a vintage name doesn’t mean she can’t?’

My sister (33f) and I (29f) are both expecting our first baby. My sister is super in love with vintage names and for about a decade has talked everyone's ear off about how much she wants to have babies with these names. I know her top three names for boys and girls are Edith, Martha, Audrey (for girls) and Alan, Harold, Stanley (for boys).

I'm not sure which of these names my future niece or nephew will get but I know they are still my sisters top choices. My husband and I are not going for vintage names or classic names. We chose Lyric which is pretty modern and not super common.

My sister doesn't know the name yet but she is aware of some names we chose not to use (we chose not to use names that could be difficult to spell or say based on the spelling) and she was upset we didn't have any vintage names on there. She made all these suggestions and I told her thanks but we had a different type of name we wanted.

She asked why we didn't want to have the cousins match styles and she said how cute it would be to have two little cousins with matching old people names. She had this idea of doing this photoshoot when the babies are born where we dress them like grannies/grandpas and she said the old names would make everything so much more perfect.

I stopped talking about it when she did not take no for an answer. I got lists of vintage names, sent articles on how vintage names are in style right now. I ignored it all. She even sent me Instagram and TikTok accounts where influences have babies with these vintage names and she's like ooh, look how cute.

Doesn't this name sounds so sweet for this little baby. Doesn't the vintage name add to the cuteness.. I didn't engage or buy into any of it. Now my sister is crying and saying I'm ruining this and she commented like she can't use a vintage name for her baby because we're not.

I told her just because I'm not giving my daughter a vintage name it doesn't mean she can't use a vintage name for her baby. I pointed out they are two separate people, with different parents and don't need to match. She cried it won't be the same and why can't I see how dismissive my comment is.. AITA?

Naming a baby is deeply personal, but this sister’s push for matching vintage names crossed into control. The 29-year-old’s choice of “Lyric” reflects her and her husband’s style, while her sister’s tearful plea for cousins with names like Edith or Harold reveals a fantasy that ignores boundaries. Her insistence—sending lists, TikToks, and crying over a “ruined” vision—shows emotional manipulation, not collaboration.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Susan Newman, a family dynamics expert, says, “Family members often project their ideals onto others’ choices, but parenting decisions belong to the parents.” The sister’s photoshoot dream is sweet, but her refusal to accept “no” dismisses the couple’s autonomy. Naming trends show 25% of parents choose modern names like Lyric for uniqueness, while vintage names like Audrey surge for nostalgia. Both are valid, but forcing a match risks resentment, especially since the sister’s husband’s input isn’t mentioned—suggesting her vision dominates.

The woman’s blunt response—that her choice doesn’t stop her sister—was logical but lacked softness, escalating tears. Dr. Newman suggests empathetic boundaries: “I love your enthusiasm, but we’re set on our name. You can still use yours.” This validates her sister while standing firm. A calm talk, perhaps after the babies arrive, could refocus on shared joy, not competition. Therapy might help the sister process her fixation. Reddit’s jab at “Lyric” aside, the woman’s right to choose trumps family pressure.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users chimed in with a mix of support and shade, weighing in on the naming drama. Here’s what they said:

KaliTheBlaze - Why aren’t I the center of the world? Why won’t you just do what I want you to? Why won’t you listen to meeeeeeeee? NTA. She sounds exhausting. Is your sister like this about everything, or is this baby name freak out an aberration for her?

ADVERTISEMENT

Adventurous_Byte - NTA. Your sister had this whole idea worked out in her head without involving you in the development of it.. Now she wants to implement it as it is in her mind. Without considering your wishes and desires.. YOU are definitely not the a\*hole!. Your sister on the other hand...

Proud_Internet_Troll - Nta, but Lyric isn't a great name either. That kid for sure will be bullied for that name.. ' We chose a name that's not super popular'.... Ma'am, there is a reason for that.

ADVERTISEMENT

MapleFanatic1 - The only thing you gotta think about for baby names is you’re naming a whole ass future adult not a infant. Don’t be stupid and choose something ridiculous because then that kid grows up and now has to use it on all legal paperwork

JimmyAintSure4646 - ESH. Your sister doesn't get a vote on the of your child, that is for you & your husband to decide.. However, 'Lyric' is just ridiculous.

DrTeethPhD - NTA She even sent me Instagram and TikTok accounts where influences have babies with these vintage names and she's like ooh, look how cute.. I mean, if you need an argument *against* using a 'vintage' name, here's a big one right here.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, tell your sister her names aren't nearly vintage enough. Names that were popular 75 years ago aren't vintage, they're merely throwback. If she wants **vintage**, she should be looking at names like Hester, Prudence, and Temperance. Or Kill Sin, Hate Evil, or If-Jesus-Christ-Had-Not-Died-for-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned..

mrsgalfieri - NTA but Lyric is a wild name 😂

IlovePetrichor - NTA  your sister is an AH for sure.. But poor baby Lyric 😅 

ADVERTISEMENT

Turbulent_Mail_1251 - NTA  based off this itty bitty bit of context it sounds like your sister views children as accessories not actual human beings. 

1962Michael - NTA. Your sister and her husband get to pick their baby's name, and you and your husband get to pick yours. If all FOUR of you thought it was cool, that would be OK, but seriously it's hard enough for some couples to agree on a name, let alone 4 people agree on a 'style.'.

You don't even mention her husband's opinion. My guess is he's just given up and letting her do whatever. Personally I think your sister is way too interested in photo shoots and presumably instagram or whatever. She needs to think about what their kids will go through in middle school.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors are vocal, but do their takes miss the sister’s emotional needs?

This mom-to-be’s stand for “Lyric” over vintage names sparked her sister’s tears, but it’s her right to choose. The sister’s push for matching cousins and a themed photoshoot crossed boundaries, turning a joyful milestone into a feud. Empathy and clear limits can mend the rift, letting each sister name her baby freely. What would you do when family dreams clash with your own? Share your thoughts below—how do you navigate naming wars or family expectations?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *