AITA for telling my sister that if she’s so upset about my kid not sharing her toys they could find another place to live?

The cozy home flickered with warmth, but a chill settled in as a single mom faced a family showdown. Her 6-year-old daughter, Emi, battling a terminal illness, clings to her toys and room as rare havens of control. When her sister, living rent-free with two young daughters, disregarded Emi’s boundaries by moving beds and toys into her space, the mom’s patience snapped. Her ultimatum—respect Emi’s wishes or find another place to live—lit a fuse of tension.

Balancing her daughter’s fragile needs with her sister’s demands, the mom’s fierce protectiveness stirs a raw nerve. Readers can feel the weight—how do you prioritize a sick child’s comfort without fracturing family ties? This heartfelt saga of boundaries, illness, and clashing priorities pulls us into a delicate dance of love and tough choices in a crowded home.

‘AITA for telling my sister that if she’s so upset about my kid not sharing her toys they could find another place to live?’

Navigating life with a terminally ill daughter and a house full of relatives, the Reddit user faced a breach of her child’s sanctuary. Here’s her story:

I’m a single mom to Emi (6). Emi is my only child. She’s been sick since she was 2, and if I’m going to be honest, she likely won’t make it to 10. Her dad left us when she got sick. Emi spends one week in the hospital then a week at home.

Because of this, the last time I was able to send her to school was 2 years ago when we were able to do preschool 3 hours a day, 2 days a week, and they still wore masks. Now the only time she’s around other kids is when she’s in the hospital. Emi hates sharing her toys so I try not to make her do it.

Usually when we see her cousins, I’ll buy something like a big pack of chalk and a gallon of bubbles and I’ll tell her it’s for everybody but that’s the only time she’ll share. My sister and her 2 daughters (5 and 7) are living with us temporarily. It’s been difficult for everyone.

At first I switched rooms with Emi and we put all 3 girls in the master but Emi hated sharing rooms and said the girls were always touching her stuff so we switched back and I put the girls in the spare room with their mom. My sister was complaining that the room was too crowded so she’s staying on a cot in my office but apparently that’s also uncomfortable so she wants the girls to share again.

My sister does not pay any rent. Her husband sends $500 a month to help pay for their groceries and she helps with Emi while I’m working (my job is pretty flexible so I’m able to watch her while I work). They’ve also been complaining that I take Emi on day/weekend trips without them. Emi just spent the week in the hospital and we came home on Saturday.

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My nieces beds were moved into Emi’s room and her toys were everywhere. I confronted my sister and she said Emi isn’t using her room or her toys half the time and that little girls should be sharing with each other. I told her that Emi has already made it clear that she does not want to share her room or her toys, and that her room needs to be the way we left it by the end of the day.

She says I’m being unfair so I snapped at her that I will be prioritizing my kid over her ungrateful self and her kids and that if she can’t get over my kid not sharing she needs to find somewhere else to live. They did fix Emi’s room but they haven’t been talking to us. At this point I’m thinking about kicking them out anyways. AITA for telling her she needs to get over my kid not sharing or move out?

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When home becomes a hospital, every boundary counts. This mom’s defense of Emi’s space is a lifeline for a child with little control. Her sister’s disregard—moving beds and toys into Emi’s room—ignores the girl’s need for stability amid her illness. The sister’s push for sharing, while understandable for young kids, overlooks Emi’s unique reality. The mom’s ultimatum, though sharp, prioritizes her daughter’s well-being over temporary guests.

Chronic illness in children reshapes family dynamics. A 2022 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found 80% of parents of terminally ill children report heightened stress from external family pressures (source). The sister’s actions, even if well-intentioned, disrupt Emi’s safe haven, risking emotional harm.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Respecting boundaries strengthens family trust” (source). The mom’s stance is justified, but her sister’s fragile situation calls for dialogue. A clear, written agreement on house rules could prevent future clashes.

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The mom should meet with her sister to reaffirm Emi’s needs while exploring compromises, like shared activities outside Emi’s room. A lock for Emi’s door could add security.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s dishing out takes as bold as a hospital cafeteria tray. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

[Reddit User] − NTA. They're not talking to you? Really in your house that they're living in rent free!!?? The cheek. Kick them out.. ​. Also I'm very sorry that your daughter is so unwell

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pollyannawog − NTA. You made it clear to your sister that your daughter has boundaries (and good on you for sticking to them!) and she still disrespected them. While she was in the hospital, no less.

The only thing that I can think would make you TA here is your sister’s children- why do they live apart from their father? Is he and your sister on a break since you referred to him as her husband still? Regardless, kicking out your adult sister would be one thing, but if that further uproots her daughters I would say you’re a bit of an A.

unlovelyladybartleby − NTA. If your daughter is chronically ill and in and out of hospital, she has very little bodily autonomy or control. One of the few ways she can assert control is over her belongings and her room. Don't let someone take that from her. Set out clear rules that need to be followed for your sister to stay in your home.

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Do it in writing, have her read and sign each paragraph, and lay out the consequences for non-compliance. Get a lock for Emi's door with a key code so that keys aren't an issue but they can't get in when you and Emi aren't home.. If she won't follow the rules of the house, she can leave.

Revolutionary_Let_39 − NTA. You sister is living in your house, so needs to respect your rules. Emi shouldn’t be punished just because your sister needed somewhere to stay.. Where is her husband during all of this? Why aren’t they staying with him?

celticmusebooks − It sounds like your sister is in a fragile place right now-- I suspect whatever is going on with the stepson is serious and probably will have some sort of legal ramifications. THAT SAID: You and your daughter are in a very fragile place as well and you did your sister and her daughters a HUGE favor letting them move in with you.

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Honestly, if I can home and found the girls beds in Emi's room and her stuff strewn about I'd have gone to the kitchen, gotten three trashbags and the kitchen time and told them they had 30 minutes to get all of the stuff into the bags and get out of my house.. You are a much better person than me to have given them another chance.

You need to give your sister two choices. Sleep in their assigned rooms and leave Emi's stuff alone OR pack their stuff and get out. Be clear there's no third choice and there won't be another second chance if the intrusion (or her badgering you) happens again.

EfficientCupcake247 − NTA. aside from everything else the germs school children bring in is incalculable

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SaltyWatermelon789 − I confronted my sister and she said Emi isn’t using her room or her toys half the time. The fact that you didn't throw everything out on the front lawn the moment she said this speaks volumes of your character. You are a better person than I am.. NTA. Normally I would say kids need to share and letting them have their way is setting them up for failure, but this isn't a typical situation.

Emi has possibly 4 yrs left to live her life that hasn't begun - typical rules/child raising just doesn't apply.. If your sister is unhappy with the accommodations, then she needs to find new accommodations.. I'm so sorry for your daughter.

catskilkid − NTA. Not only is it your house, your rules, but the lack of appreciation from your sister is outrageous. She knew your and Emi's situation when she NEEDED to find a place to stay. You provided one and put out clear boundaries.

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She (not willing to blame her 5 & 7 yo) refused to comply and not only disregarded your boundaries COULD NOT even clean up after HER mess until Emi had to see the disrespect as well. If she can't follow the rules and is not appreciative then she should be with other family or friend or make it on her own (because obviously she does not want to live with your rules in your home).

Dounesky − NAH - I’m sure I am going to be downvoted to oblivion on this one. Both of you are prioritizing your own kids in a hard time. Your daughter is sick (very sorry you are both going through this), but it doesn’t seem that your sister is in a great place either. The kids are being moved around and both of you are trying to make the best situation of what’s going on.

Your nieces aren’t in a good place either. It must not be easy to know there is a room full of toys that they can’t touch for days on end. You are trying to make it as easy as possible for Emi. This is temporary and I think you and your sis need to talk about what’s the best course of action for the short remainder.

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Ok-Possession3682 − ESH. The fact that your daughter is chronically/terminally ill does not mean you should treat her like a toddler forever. NO KID WANTS TO SHARE. This is a learned behavior; you have a duty to teach her how to be kind, share, etc. You're raising a brat and giving her (and yourself) a pass on the issue because you think she doesn't have much time left.

That said, I'm terribly sorry that she has the condition, and I'm even sorrier that you expect to outlive your child. No parent should have to face that awful reality. Your sister has obviously overstepped your boundary, and I don't know if a verbal apology accompanied the more relevant actions that she and her kids put forth to rectify the situation.

How long are you expecting to live together? It's a tough situation. If you are adamant that nothing of your daughter's be touched, then you need to express this boundary clearly to your sister and also include your consequences. 'I need to be clear on this, because it is a serious issue for me. I'm NOT ok with you treating Emi's toys as your own.

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She has enough stress in her life without that, too. I am glad that I can be here for you in your time of need, but the truth is that I cannot waver on what I believe is right for me and my kid. If it happens again, you are going to have to find another place to live.

It doesn't matter whether this seems silly to you, it is extremely serious for me and for my daughter.' If you just randomly kick them out, you're probably going to lose your sister and seem crazy to boot, even though she is in the wrong for how she has acted.

These Reddit opinions pack a punch, but do they hit the heart of the issue? Is the mom a fierce protector or too harsh on her struggling sister?

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This household drama proves love can be a battleground when boundaries blur. The mom’s stand for Emi’s sanctuary is a raw act of devotion, but her sister’s silence hints at deeper rifts. Should she soften her stance or hold firm for her daughter’s sake? How would you navigate a houseguest trampling a sick child’s space? Drop your thoughts below—let’s untangle this family knot!

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