AITA for telling my sister that if she wants to go on vacation she can book her own because she’s not coming with us?

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In a cozy dining room, a family dinner takes a sharp turn. A 19-year-old’s dream birthday trip to Ireland is on the table, but their 26-year-old sister, toddler in tow, wants in—only to be shut down cold.

What happens when family vacations stir up favoritism and hurt feelings? This Reddit saga dives into a sibling spat where a toddler’s presence threatens castles and cobblestones. Ever faced a family feud over travel plans? Let’s unpack this tale of loyalty, exclusion, and awkward dinner chats.

‘AITA for telling my sister that if she wants to go on vacation she can book her own because she’s not coming with us?’

I’m turning 19 in a few weeks and my parents are taking me to Ireland for like a week. My sister is staying home with her daughter because neither me or my parents want them with us because all she normally does on vacation with us is complain. We were all at the table and she asked what I was doing for my birthday and my mother told her we were going to Ireland and my sister said “am I and (her daughter) going?”.

Our mom kinda looked at her like are you seriously asking that and said no. My sister asked why and my mother was basically like first of all why would we take a 2 year old on a 6 hour+ flight and also it’s for my birthday. I also chimed in and said I didn’t want my niece there because she would ruin the trip which is maybe kind of harsh but it’s the truth.

My sister toook offence to this and started playing the victim and was saying “I’m always being left out of things” which is kind of true because I’ve been on 3 vacations this year and they’ve all been me and parents, but it’s because taking a toddler on vacation changes things, and she’s also been on a vacation with her friends while her daughter stayed at home so it’s not like she never leaves the country.

And she’s also 26 so I don’t know why she would still want to go on vacation with our parents. She kept complaining about it and I was like “if you want to go on a vacation you can book your own because you’re not coming with us”. She got mad and basically called me an a**hole while our parents were still sitting there.

Family vacations should spark joy, but this one’s brewing a sibling storm. Our teen’s blunt rejection of their sister’s toddler feels personal, while the sister’s push to join a birthday trip seems tone-deaf. The parents, footing the bill, aren’t helping by sidelining one daughter for the other’s milestone.

This clash screams favoritism, a dynamic that stings. The teen’s had three parent-funded trips this year; the sister, zero. Dr. Ellen Walker, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Perceived favoritism can erode sibling bonds long-term” (Psychology Today). The sister’s “left out” plea reflects real hurt, while the teen’s harsh words about their niece deepen the rift.

The bigger picture? Family dynamics shift when kids become adults. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found 68% of families struggle with equitable treatment post-parenthood (APA). The parents could’ve softened the blow with a family-friendly trip later. Instead, their silence fueled the fire.

What’s the fix? The teen should apologize for their tone, not the boundary. The parents need to address the imbalance—maybe plan a shorter trip including the toddler. Dr. Walker suggests “transparent communication” to rebuild trust.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit brought the heat, serving up a mix of sympathy and shade. Here’s what they had to say about this family vacation fiasco.

AnnoyedRedheadedMom − ESH I'm going to get down voted,but oh well. You were mean to your sister, and you should have let your mom respond as she is the host of the trip. I agree that crossing the pond with a toddler is a nightmare, and NO one wants to travel with a two year old (even their own), and pubs, castles and cobblestones are ideal not for strollers.

You could have been kinder. You are still at home, and given your age, I assume you are a high school senior or college freshman. Sis is a full grown woman with a child of her own. it was pretty presumptuous of her to demand to tag along. let alone ruin a grown up trip with a toddler.

I assume your sister went on trips with your family when she was your age or still at home? Have your parents included sis in the past and done nice things for your nibbling? If there's a history of disparity, then mom especially stinks here.

Clock-United − You are 19, and your parents paid for 3 vacations for you this year? And your sister went on none? Yeah, you are spoiled. Without the additional information, and it being one trip, she's TA, simply because it's your birthday. Reading the context and your comments - you are rude, entitled and spoiled. No wonder she complains when she's on vacation with the three of you, if this is a snapshot of what that vacation looks like.

Longwinded_Ogre − And she’s also 26 so I don’t know why she would still want to go on vacation with our parents.. You're 19. Why the f**k do you? “I’m always being left out of things” which is kind of true because I’ve been on 3 vacations this year and they’ve all been me and parents.

Wow dude. Usually the golden child tries to hide that s**t. You understand that her and her friends going on a vacation isn't the same as her parents taking her when they've taken your ass three separate times, making this four vacations for you and none for her?

Yeah, you're the a**hole, and the fact that you had to ask indicates you've got a few other less-than-positive qualities that should probably be addressed too, while you're at it. Dude is 4-0 on trips with the fam and has to ask if he's the a**hole for rubbing his sister's nose in the favoritism.. You and your parents, YTAs, 100%.

Moronizm − You still talk like kid and you are not paying so I think you are just rude to your sister; and it's not your decision about vacation really. BUT - your parent ARE TA. They play favorities and yes, toddlers are annoying, one birthday trip for you alone seems fine, but you've already been on 3 trips with parents without her and they don't do sh\*t to accomodate at least one for whole family (shorter, closer - for a small kid also). This is a little bit sad.

No_Confidence5235 − Jeez, this is like, what, the millionth time you've whined about your sister on here? You're the same a**hole who tried to start your own religion so that you could scam people into giving you money. You're the freeloader who crashed your car

and threw a fit because your parents wouldn't buy you a new one. You're the lazy a**hole who doesn't want to work for a living so you purposely tried to get fired. And yet you think you can look down on your sister? Jeez, quit whining about her; you're totally obsessed. YTA

MissionHoneydew2209 − Info: Are you the Golden Child?

First-Industry4762 − YTA as well as your parents, you've been on three paid vacations without your sister already. I can't blame her for feeling left out because she was left out three times. And she’s also 26 so I don’t know why she would still want to go on vacation with our parents.

*You're nineteen* : by that logic why do you still want to go on a paid vacation with your parents? You're an adult. Lastly, your parents are the ones paying: you constantly chiming in how you don't want her daughter there ruining the vacation comes across as entitled. You're not paying: stay out of the conversation.

misspoofy − ESH. Yikes. I would love to take a vaca every 3 months. What a wonderful life you lead. You suck because of what you said about your niece. Your sister sucks for assuming she would be invited. You and your parents suck for your attitude about having a toddler on vacation. Sounds like you guys have money, so hire someone to travel with and take care of your niece? And why is it bad to want to vaca with your parents at 26?

needabook55 − I remember reading this exact post a couple weeks ago.

BiblioLoLo1235 − I feel sorry for your sister. It seems you are enjoying excluding her.

Talk about a divided crowd! These Redditors don’t hold back, but do their takes cut through the family fog? One thing’s clear: sibling drama makes for spicy debates!

From dinner table tension to transatlantic dreams, this story shows how fast family ties can tangle over a suitcase. Balancing birthdays, toddlers, and fairness is no easy feat. Have you ever had to pick sides in a family travel spat? Drop your thoughts below—what would you do in this messy mix?

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