AITA for telling my sister she’s not my child’s second mom after she kept overriding my parenting?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a bustling family kitchen, where the clatter of plates mixes with warm laughter, a single mom’s patience frays like an old rope. At 29, she’s been the rock for her 6-year-old son, navigating solo parenthood with grit and love. Her sister’s help was a lifeline—until it became a tug-of-war over who calls the shots. From sneaking candy to dismissing homework, the sister’s oversteps lit a fuse that exploded at a family dinner.

The mom’s sharp words—“You’re not his second mom”—drew a line in the sand, but left her sister stung and silent. Now, guilt creeps in, whispering questions about gratitude and family ties. Readers, get ready for a relatable tale of boundaries, love, and the messy dance of raising a kid when others try to steal the lead.

‘AITA for telling my sister she’s not my child’s second mom after she kept overriding my parenting?’

I (29F) have a 6-year-old son, and I’ve been raising him mostly on my own since his dad left when he was a baby. My younger sister (26F) lives nearby and has been helpful, especially when I needed last-minute babysitting or help during tough times.

I truly appreciate her support, but recently she’s started crossing some boundaries, and it’s getting out of hand. It started with little things—like giving my son candy before dinner or letting him stay up past his bedtime when he was over at her place. I addressed those things gently, thinking she might not realize how it affects his routine.

But then she began correcting me in front of him, saying things like “Oh, you’re being too harsh” or “Come on, let him have some fun.” Last week, she even told him he didn’t have to finish his homework if he didn’t feel like it—directly contradicting what I had just told him minutes earlier.

The final straw was when we were at a family dinner, and I told my son he couldn’t have dessert until he finished his vegetables. My sister loudly said, “That’s such an old-school rule, come here sweetie, Auntie will get you some cake.” I snapped and told her, “You’re not his second mom. Stop overriding me like I don’t know how to raise my own kid.”

She got really upset and said I was being ungrateful after everything she’s done for me and my son. My parents were split—my mom said I was right to stand my ground, but my dad thinks I could’ve handled it more privately. My sister hasn’t spoken to me since, and now I feel guilty, like I ruined a good relationship. So, AITA for setting that boundary with my sister, or should I have just let it slide to keep the peace?

Parenting is a solo act for many, but this story shows how family can complicate the spotlight. The mom, raising her 6-year-old alone, faced her sister’s oversteps—ignoring bedtime, dismissing homework, and defying dinner rules. Her public rebuke was a stand for authority, while the sister saw it as a slap after her help. Both acted from love, but clashed over boundaries.

The sister likely aimed for fun aunt vibes, not realizing her actions undermined consistency crucial for a child’s stability. The mom, protecting her role, snapped after private talks failed. A 2020 study in Journal of Family Psychology found 70% of single parents face boundary issues with family (Journal of Family Psychology).

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Consistency in parenting fosters security in children” (Aha! Parenting). The sister’s interference risked confusing the child, justifying the mom’s firm stance. Family discussions to clarify roles could help, and the mom might explore other childcare to reduce reliance.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s squad rolled up for this parenting showdown, dishing out a lively mix of high-fives and raised eyebrows. It’s like a family reunion where everyone’s got a spicy opinion and no one’s holding back. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, sizzling with support for the mom and a dash of shade for her sister.

Interesting_Wing_461 − This needs to be nipped in the bud. When your son is a teenager he will know that he can run to auntie when he’s not getting his way.

LovedAJackass − I'd say stop relying on her for any childcare and don't allow him to have overnights with her. And maybe meet your mom one-on-one until it sinks in to your sister that she was out of line. Your dad wasn't wrong but it's sometimes hard when someone challenges you publicly not to respond in the moment.

So don't beat yourself up because of it. It's notable that your sister hasn't come to you to apologize for undermining you with your son. Had she done that, it would be easy for you to say you wish you hadn't reacted in front of everyone. But she's not sorry, is she? Going no contact is doubling down on what she did.

Simple_Bowler_7091 − NTA, that's a boundary that needed to be set and you did try to handle it privately but your sister kept pushing.. **Correcting your sister's overstep is not about her ego or yours, it's about your son's emotional stability and safety.**

Forget

Your sister is younger and not a mother herself so she might not fully appreciate the importance of routines, of your child getting proper rest, of how all that sugar affects his little body. Your parents, presumably DO know all this, they learned it parenting you and your sister, so they could back you up on those points.

But it may be necessary for all three of them to hear that they are never to contradict your parenting in front of your child again like that. But also - you need to find other baby sitters and caretakers so you have some options other than your sister. Free isn't always

RandomReddit9791 − NTA. You haven't ruined anything. You took necessary corrective action. Your sister was setting herself up to be the fun aunt, the one your child listens to instead of you.  Her behavior would've escalated as your child got older. It would be her and your child against you. Little secrets and

Soft-Statement-4933 − You were right to tell her off. No one should override a parent's authority unless abuse is involved.

Upbeat_Selection357 − One of the roles of an aunt/uncle is to be less strict. They can provide a sort of lubrication that allows parents to have clear parameters while creating flexibility. But she's clearly crossed a line by directly contradicting you and subverting your parenting.

If she had genuine concerns she could raise them in private with you. As to whether you should have confronted her in private, you didn't have that opportunity. Her action was in public and you needed to respond.

Punkinsmom − NTA - you TRIED to handle it privately. That didn't work. I had to check a few people when I was raising my sons. No regrets.

Swedishpunsch − You were in the right, OP. Best to get the wee lad in control now, before he is bigger and stronger than you are. Your father is out of line, too. You handled this with the same privacy that your pushy sister used. It was important, too, that your son see her get called out for being in the wrong.. NTA

Mindless_Gap8026 − NTA. Remind your dad that your sister was under minding your parenting in front of your child. She was not keeping it private.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 − NTA. No, the sister doesn’t get to override the parenting in public and in then get chided in private, not after op has done that with previous oversteps.. Auntie pushed her luck.

These Redditors rallied hard, cheering the mom’s boundary-setting and tossing side-eyes at the sister’s overreach. Many saw her public dessert stunt as a power move, while others nudged the mom to ditch sisterly childcare. A few called the dad’s “keep it private” take off-base, given the sister’s bold defiance. But are these online cheerleaders catching the full family vibe, or just fueling the fire? One thing’s clear—this parenting clash has tongues wagging.

This story of sisterly support gone sour highlights the delicate balance of family and parenting. The mom’s stand wasn’t just about vegetables or bedtime; it was about safeguarding her son’s stability. Her sister’s help came with strings, blurring lines that needed clarity. How do you handle family who overstep your parenting? Share your experiences, advice, or hot takes below—let’s keep this conversation cooking!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *