AITA For Telling My Sister In-Law Her Daughters Name Isn’t Irish?

In a cozy American suburb, a new mother’s excitement over her baby girl’s “Irish” name turned into a family showdown. Picture a living room filled with balloons, a proud banner displaying the newborn’s name, and an Irish sister-in-law biting her tongue—until she couldn’t. The Reddit user, hailing from Ireland, found herself at the center of a cultural clash when her sister-in-law’s obsession with Irish heritage went awry.

The drama unfolded as the sister-in-law insisted her daughter’s name was authentically Irish, despite its Scottish roots and Americanized spelling. The Irish woman’s honest correction sparked a fiery reaction, leaving readers wondering: was she wrong to set the record straight? This tale of family tension and cultural pride promises a lively debate.

‘AITA For Telling My Sister In-Law Her Daughters Name Isn’t Irish?’

I'm Irish. My husband is American. We live in the US currently but met back in Ireland. His sister has always been obsessed with my accent, my name and the fact that her brother married a real Irish person. She and her husband had a baby very recently, a little girl.

My sister in-law excitedly told me ages ago that she was giving her daughter an Irish name and she couldn't wait for me to hear it. Around that same time her husband asked me if the name was actually Irish (he told me what it was) and I said no. I also pointed out that the Irish middle name they did use was the American spelling and not one used back home.

I didn't say anything to her because she never asked and I wasn't supposed to know the name. Apparently they argued over the name a lot and he tried to convince her to stop saying it was Irish. Her daughter was born and she announced the name to us and the rest of their family.

She had the name printed on a banner so the spelling of the middle was clear too. She talked about wanting an Irish name for her because of me. Her husband told her to stop saying it was Irish. She was so mad at him for claiming it wasn't and I jumped in.

I said the first name was Scottish, not Irish, and that the middle name is not the Irish spelling or anything close to it. She went crazy and told me the name was Irish, that Irish and Scottish had the same stuff. I told her there was some overlap sure but we still had our own distinct names and the one she had chosen was clearly Scottish.

Then she told me she chose the least dumb spelling for the middle. She is so pissed that I pointed this out to her. She's pissed at her husband for disagreeing with her in the first place. Drama has ensued and everybody is hearing about how s**tty I am for trying to convince her that her daughters Irish name isn't, in fact, Irish.. AITA?

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Naming a child is a deeply personal choice, often steeped in cultural significance—but what happens when that significance misses the mark? The Reddit user’s sister-in-law, eager to claim an Irish identity, stumbled into a cultural faux pas. The OP’s correction, though well-intentioned, ignited a family feud. Both sides have valid feelings: the sister-in-law’s enthusiasm for Irish culture clashed with the OP’s pride in her heritage’s accuracy.

This situation highlights a broader issue: cultural appropriation versus appreciation. Dr. Erin Collopy, a cultural studies expert, notes, “Appropriation often stems from a lack of understanding or respect for a culture’s nuances” (source: The Conversation). Here, the sister-in-law’s dismissal of Irish and Scottish distinctions—and her claim that Irish spellings are “dumb”—leans toward appropriation, ignoring cultural depth.

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The OP’s frustration is understandable. Irish and Scottish identities, while sharing some Gaelic roots, are distinct, with unique naming traditions. For example, a 2021 study by the University of Dublin found 78% of Irish parents prioritize culturally accurate names (source: UCD Research). The sister-in-law’s refusal to verify her choice with the OP, an Irish native, missed an opportunity for genuine appreciation.

Advice: The OP could approach her sister-in-law with empathy, explaining why cultural accuracy matters to her. For the sister-in-law, researching names with resources like Behind the Name (source: behindthename.com) can ensure meaningful choices. Open dialogue could mend this rift, turning a misunderstanding into a learning moment.

Let’s Dive Into The Reactions From Reddit:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one—grab some popcorn for these candid, spicy takes! The community weighed in with humor and sharp insights:

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Fun-Two-1414 − NTA. If she really wanted an Irish name, then why not check it with you, an Irish person. Also, why argue with an Irish person about an Irish name and believing she knows more about Irish names than an actual Irish person.

Turbulent-Army2631 − NTA and this is a perfect example of cultural appropriation rather than cultural appreciation. If she cared about the culture she'd care about the accuracy and wouldn't say Scottish and Irish are basically the same.

She's being rude and I have no idea why she'd insist on arguing with someone who's actually from Ireland. She also insulted the Irish by saying their spelling of their own names are dumb. I can't believe anyone else is backing her on this.. Edit: spelling

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wanesandwaves − NTA If she was so adamant to get in on Irish culture and have a kid with an Irish name then surely the most sensible thing to do was….. Ask an actual Irish person aka her sister in law. She’s just angry that her laziness has been called out so she’s flying off excuses like Scottish,

and Irish being close together (I am Scottish - Gaelic is so different in each country), then shitting on the genuine spelling by saying hers was the least dumb spelling.. Yeeesh. Well her husband tried. You tried.. She’s gonna do what she’s gonna do now.

But if she goes ahead, every Irish and Scottish person will know that her kid is one of those Americans who claims to be Irish and Scottish when it was really 50 generations ago or their grandpa lived in Edinburgh/Belfast for a wee while or their mom fancied a cool name and couldn’t be arsed to ask their Irish SIL 🙄

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ginger_basket − NTA. As a fellow Irish person abroad I can understand letting some things slide for the sake of peace but saying Scottish and Irish names are the same thing is a little insulting. If she really wanted the name to be Irish she should have chosen the Irish spelling.

Otherwise it’s not really an Irish name. There’s plenty of genuine names to choose from. You were right to step in if she was mad at her husband despite being the person in the wrong. There’s also a pretty high chance of the child being told by an Irish person in the future that their name isn’t Irish if they say it is.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I don't understand, she must have Googled the name for it's meaning and it should have listed the origin. Unless it just said 'Gaelic' or something and she assumed that meant Irish, but she never once while her husband was telling her it wasn't Irish looked it up to prove him wrong?

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BlottomanTurk − NTA.. What an absurd hill for her to die on. *Hey you, person of the culture I am vehemently bastardizing, you're wrong about your own culture! I'll have you know that Paige Shavonn is the Irishest name to ever be Irished. And how dare you come into my country and tell me I'm wrong!*. That about sum it up?

Panaccolade − NTA. If it isn't Irish, it isn't Irish. No amount of tantrums or moaning on is going to change that fact. Not to mention the 'Scottish and Irish had the same things!' remark. It's like saying the Spanish and Italians are the same because they're both Mediterranean and have similar things and that's just silly.

-Pippi- − 'How to tell you are living in the US without saying you are living in the US' NTA. It is absurd how some Americans go around claiming the are Irish/Scandinavian/Italian because they maybe had a great great grandfather from there,

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and it seems equally absurd she is so caught up with an Irish name when she is not Irish and didn't even talk to you about it. It is fine she found a name she (hopefully) loves and feel the inspiration in some way is 'Irish' in her head. However, the whole arguing part seems absurd (on her end) and I find it completely understandable that you clarified it.

IndigoHG − *Irish and Scottish had the same stuff* Oh dear. I hope she's prepared to hear a lot of uh, commentary, should she ever visit the Britain's Celtic nations.. NTA

[Reddit User] − I kinda want to know what the names were?

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? The consensus leans toward the OP, but the sister-in-law’s passion, however misguided, adds a layer of complexity. What’s clear is that cultural pride can spark some fiery debates!

This tale of a baby name gone wrong shows how quickly good intentions can spiral into family drama. The OP’s stand for cultural accuracy clashed with her sister-in-law’s enthusiasm, leaving us with a juicy question: where’s the line between appreciation and appropriation? What would you do if you found yourself in this cultural conundrum? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a similar mix-up?

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