AITA for telling my sister I’m not swapping rooms with her because she should be moving out soon?

The car hummed along, but the conversation inside hit a speed bump. An 18-year-old, juggling college and dreams of a freshly painted room, listened as their mom dropped a bombshell: their older sister wanted to swap bedrooms again. With a toddler in tow and years overstaying at their parents’ house, the sister’s request felt like a rerun of an old argument—one the younger sibling wasn’t ready to replay. Sparks flew when they shut it down, and now Reddit’s weighing in.

This isn’t just about who gets the bigger closet; it’s a clash of expectations, independence, and family ties stretched thin. The student’s holding their ground, but their sister’s playing the guilt card like a pro. It’s the kind of family drama that feels like sneaking a peek at a heated group chat—messy, real, and impossible to ignore. Let’s roll up our sleeves and dig into this room-swapping saga.

‘AITA for telling my sister I’m not swapping rooms with her because she should be moving out soon?’

I was in the car with my mother today and she asked me if my sister had said anything to me about switching rooms. I said no one asked what she meant, and she said that apparently my sister wanted to switch rooms with me soon because my room has a smaller room beside it, and she wanted to use that room for her daughter and then my room for her.

My sister is 26 and still lives at home with me and her parents and she also has a two year-old daughter. What makes this even more frustrating is that whenever she was pregnant we did actually swap rooms because my room was downstairs so it was more convenient for her and I agreed to swap with her to help her out.

So she got what she wanted and now she’s asking me to swap with her again.. because shes never satisfied with what she has. I am 100% not swapping with her because she’s 26 and she was meant to be saving for the past year to move out so there’s like zero point in us swapping rooms because she’s just gonna move out hopefully soon anyway.

And I’m also planning on getting my room painted as well. When my mother told me about this I hadn’t heard anything about it but right enough whenever we went home my sister actually said to me how would I feel about switching rooms so I obviously said no that I wouldn’t not be switching rooms with her,

and she actually seems surprised for some reason which I can’t understand because I’m not sure why she thought I would be on board with it. She asked me why and I told her that I thought she was moving out soon and she acted all offended and was like “oh so you want rid of us” and basically acting as if I heavily insulted her or something.

She was also yapping about how she just wants her daughter to have a room beside her as if they would make me feel bad enough to agree with her. I was just straight up and told her it wasn’t happening and she had the audacity to call me selfish and was just super pissed off at me for some reason lol.

Talk about a family feud that’s more crowded than a shared bathroom. The student’s digging in, refusing to budge on a room swap, while their sister’s acting like a toddler’s nursery trumps all. She’s 26, cozy at Mom and Dad’s, but wants prime real estate—again. The kid’s got a point: why rearrange when she’s supposedly packing? But her stung reaction hints at deeper stress.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman says, “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments” (source: Gottman Institute). The student’s logic holds—30% of young adults live with parents, but most aim to leave by 27 (source: Pew Research). Sister’s stalling, maybe stuck as a single mom, which hits 25% of U.S. parents (source: Census Bureau).

This screams boundary blues. Siblings clash over space when roles blur—think 40% of multigenerational homes report tension (source: AARP). Gottman might nudge a family powwow: sister owns her timeline, student keeps their room. Parents need to referee, not sideline. Readers, is the kid selfish, or is sister’s entitlement the real houseguest?

Dr. Gottman’s take pushes clarity: set timelines, respect space. The student could offer empathy—maybe ask about her plans—while holding firm. Parents should nudge sister’s savings, not her room grabs. Family counseling could untangle this knot. What’s your call—how do you keep peace without losing your spot?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s posse swooped in like they’re settling a score at a family game night, tossing cheers and shade with equal zest. It’s a lively scrum—some high-five the student’s stand, others squint at sister’s single-mom struggles, all stirring the pot with gusto. Here’s the spicy scoop from the crowd, served with a wink:

fiestafan73 − If you already swapped with her once and she’s not satisfied, that’s on her. If she wants more space, she is free to be an actual adult and move out instead of asking a teenager to play musical bedrooms. NTA.

Expensive_Excuse_597 − NTA. You have accommodated your sister once already and now she is back again asking for more accommodation because she has not saved money and has no intention of moving out. She can still use the room beside your room for her daughter and just walk up and down the stairs.

However, you should keep in mind that if she does move her child into the room next to you, that will be a big issue with the kid bothering you all the time. You may want to consider that in your decision. For all you people stating OP should move out because he is 18, in the US an 18 year old might well still be in high school at this point.

Jerseygirl2468 − INFO what do your parent(s) think? It's their house and they are paying the bills, it sounds like.

Personal_Sprinkles_3 − Info: where is the baby daddy??? My personal opinion is that your sister isn’t leaving. I say that because my sister also lived at home and got pregnant when I was expecting her to leave (she had actually moved out for awhile before ending back up at home).

She never left until her baby daddy’s step dad gave them free rent. Kids are expensive and time consuming. She isn’t leaving if she isn’t out before. I think your parents should start asking her questions if they want/expect her to leave.

StAlvis − NTA. she acted all offended and was like “oh so you want rid of us”. Yes?

AffectionateCable793 − NTA. She asked, you said no. She is asking for a favor and had no reason to be mad if you denied it. Especially since you already did her a favor regarding this very same thing before. You are NOT telling her to leave. You only stated that she, herself, has plans to move out.

And given those plans, swapping rooms is an unnecessary burden to you. As for the niece, she won't be deprived if she doesn't have her own room. Plenty of kids share rooms. Sis just wants to not have to share her room with her kid. But since she swapped rooms with you before, this predicament is her own doing. Not your fault she has no foresight.

Crafty_Thought − NTA. All these people commenting you are the AH are a different level of delusional. Stick to hun buddy, you compromised once to help her why should you do it again. Why should you always compromise. And to all you commentors HE IS IN COLLEGE. He is studying... I don't know how you see that as the wrong thing and want him to move out at 18.

He is making good financial decisions by commuting from home saving money for the future instead of spending thousands on renting/student accommodation, food etc. It's like you all never went to school or had an easy life.

JumpyMaize4409 − NAH. I don't think she's wrong for asking, she's a young (single by the sound of it?) mum who wanted to make her life easier for her and her kid. She might be struggling to save and it's taking longer to move out than anticipated so you might have hit a nerve saying that she'd be moving out soon. At the same time you don't have to move rooms again just because she asked. Its a fair response if to your knowledge she was planning on moving out soon.

Apart-Scene-9059 − NAH: She asked you answered. She should have known there be a chance you don't want to switch and shouldn't be upset you're not just doing whatever she wants you to do

Deep-Okra1461 − NTA I think this is one of those times when someone is caught in an awkward position but they don't want to admit it. Your sister has NO PLANS to move anywhere. She is settling into your parents' home. Maybe your parents even know this and none of them plan to tell you.

That's why your mom brought it up and your sister asked you. She wants the room setup that makes the most sense for her long term. That's why she was caught off guard when you mentioned she's leaving soon. She's not planning to leave at all.

These folks are dishing truth and sass, some saluting the kid’s backbone, others poking at family blind spots. But are they nailing the heart of this home turf war, or just loving the chaos? One thing’s sure—this room spat’s got Reddit buzzing like a house party gone wild. What’s your take on this sibling standoff?

This story’s a classic—a cramped house, big dreams, and siblings duking it out over who gets what. The student’s clinging to their corner, while their sister’s spinning guilt like a toddler’s tantrum. It’s not just about walls; it’s about growing up and letting go, even when family’s breathing down your neck. Ever had to stake your claim in a crowded home? What would you do when “fair” feels like a moving target? Spill your thoughts—let’s unpack this messy family blueprint together.

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