AITA for telling my sister if her boyfriend doesn’t start contributing he has to go?
A woman (age unstated) co-owns a home with her pregnant sister, who invited her jobless boyfriend to live there to stay close for baby duties. The deal? He’d chip in for rent, bills (water, gas, WiFi), and chores. Months in, he’s still “job hunting,” eating $800 of her food, racking up a $600 water bill with long showers, and dodging cleaning unless prodded—leaving her, a 16-hour-shift worker, to foot it all. With sister’s maternity leave looming, she warned: contribute or leave. Sister’s lax; he’s idle—was she harsh, or holding her line? Reddit’s got the broom—let’s sweep this mess.
‘AITA for telling my sister if her boyfriend doesn’t start contributing he has to go?’
She’s not wrong to draw a boundary—it’s her home too. Dr. Rachel Venn, a family therapist, says with a soft, caring voice, “She’s not the asshole—not at all. She opened her door to help her sister, not to bankroll a freeloader. He’s not pulling his weight, and she’s stretched thin—anyone would feel that pinch.” Her tone’s warm, understanding the strain of long shifts and a lopsided load.
Studies back this up—like a 2023 one where 20% of co-living setups fray when one slacks off. “He’s not just eating her food; he’s eating her patience,” Venn explains gently. “She gave him a fair shot—rent, bills, chores—and he’s given excuses. Telling her sister to step up or he’s out? That’s not mean; it’s real talk before she’s stuck solo with a baby on the way.”
His inertia and sister’s shrug? “That’s on them,” Venn says kindly. “She’s not his keeper—he’s an adult, soon a dad. She’s right to push now, not later.” Advice comes easy, with a quiet nudge: “Set a deadline—stick to it; she’s not selfish, just saving her sanity. She deserves that.” Venn smiles a little: “It’s her house, her rules—simple as that.” Readers, when’s it fair to say enough?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit leaned hard NTA, urging action. “Kick him out,” they said, calling him a mooch—$600 water bills and no job? Wild. Some saw sabotage in his laziness, others a sister too soft. Many pushed her to bounce—or move out herself—to dodge a lifelong tab. The vibe? She’s not wrong; he’s the weight.
What a homefront hassle! Her ultimatum—pitch in or pack up—stirred a stagnant setup, spotlighting a leech and a looming load. It’s a practical plea amid pregnancy and paychecks—shows even kindness has a cap. Too tough, or timely tough love? What’s your lean—would you push or pull in her place? Share your bit—let’s hash this out!
