AITA for telling my sister I won’t help her?

After years of dodging her older sister’s harsh judgment about her life choices, a 23-year-old woman faced a surprising request: help with childcare and money for her sister’s seven kids, including a newborn, as her husband slacks off post-job loss. Citing their strained relationship and her sister’s past criticism of her high school dropout status and learning disabilities, she refused, prioritizing her peace over family duty.

This Reddit story, thick with resentment and boundaries, mirrors your own struggles with saying no to demanding family, like avoiding your sister’s kids’ camp pickup or handling her entitled asks. Is she wrong to turn her sister away, or is her sister reaping what she sowed?

‘AITA for telling my sister I won’t help her?’

Family obligations can strain even the strongest ties, and this Reddit user’s refusal to help her sister reflects a justified boundary after years of criticism. Her sister’s judgmental attitude, dismissing her struggles with learning disabilities, eroded any sense of closeness, making the request for childcare and money feel like an overreach, much like your own resistance to family demands. The sister’s seven children and unemployed husband amplify her burden, but that responsibility isn’t the user’s to bear.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Toxic family patterns, like judgment, can justify distancing, especially when help is demanded without mutual respect” . The sister’s loss of her best friend over similar judgment suggests a pattern, supporting the user’s stance.

She could offer limited, non-financial help, like connecting her sister to community resources, as you’ve navigated family conflicts, but only if it feels safe. A clear explanation—focusing on their history—might clarify her position without guilt.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit backed the user, slamming her sister’s entitlement and irresponsible choices, with some urging her to protect her finances and others poking fun at the “clown car” family size. Here’s their take:

Reddit’s cheering her boundary, but are they fully grasping the kids’ plight or just roasting the sister?

This Reddit user’s refusal to help her sister with seven kids has left her sister fuming but her own boundaries intact, highlighting the cost of judgmental family ties. Her story, like your own family boundary battles, asks where duty ends and self-preservation begins. Is she right to stand her ground, or should she help for the kids’ sake? How would you handle a judgmental relative’s plea for aid? Share your thoughts or stories of setting family boundaries!