AITA for telling my sister I won’t babysit her kids anymore because she doesn’t pay me or even say thank you?

A 31-year-old man has been quietly babysitting his 34-year-old sister’s two young children (6F and 3M) for the past two years — starting during the pandemic when she and her husband needed extra hands. What began as a kind family favor turned into a weekly (sometimes more) routine, even after life returned to normal and both he and his sister went back to full-time work.

The problem? She never once offered to pay him, nor did she even say a simple “thank you.” It was simply expected that he’d drop everything to help. Fed up, he finally told her he wouldn’t continue unless she showed some appreciation or paid him fairly. She exploded, calling him selfish and insisting family should help without expecting anything in return. Now she’s giving him the silent treatment, and their parents are pressuring him to apologize to “keep the peace.” Is he wrong for finally setting boundaries?

‘AITA for telling my sister I won’t babysit her kids anymore because she doesn’t pay me or even say thank you?’

It all started as a genuine act of support during tough times:

But two years later, the pattern continued without any change:

He reached his breaking point and spoke up:

He stands firm on his feelings:

This is a textbook case of one-sided family expectations: the brother gave generously for years, but the sister treated his help as an entitlement rather than a kindness. When he asked for basic appreciation — not even money, just acknowledgment — she flipped it into him being “selfish.” This dynamic often leads to burnout and resentment, especially when one person gives without reciprocity.

The other side argues that true family support shouldn’t come with strings. However, experts point out that gratitude is the bare minimum in healthy relationships. Chronic lack of thanks can feel like exploitation, turning help into obligation. Relationship therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab emphasizes in her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace (2021): “Boundaries are not walls; they are gates that protect your energy. When someone reacts poorly to a boundary, it often reveals how much they benefited from your lack of one.”

Practical advice: Stick to your boundary — it’s reasonable and teaches mutual respect. If she wants your help, she can offer fair compensation or at least consistent thanks. Suggest alternatives like paid sitters or other family members stepping in. For the parents’ “keep the peace” pressure, calmly explain that peace shouldn’t mean one person always sacrifices. If needed, a short, neutral message to your sister reaffirming your love but holding the line could help. True family help flows both ways.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the brother, calling him NTA and praising him for finally standing up after being taken for granted for so long:

Most people agreed he was right to demand basic appreciation — and slammed the sister for her entitlement and the parents for enabling her:

This story hits home for anyone who’s ever felt taken for granted in family relationships. The brother gave selflessly for years, but asking for basic respect — a simple thank you — shouldn’t make him the villain. The sister’s reaction and the parents’ pressure to “keep the peace” only highlight the imbalance.

What do you think? Have you ever had to set boundaries with family over unpaid help? Would you have kept babysitting without appreciation, or do you agree he did the right thing? Drop your thoughts in the comments!