AITA for telling my sister I am going to get a restraining order?

When a compassionate couple opened their home to two LGBTQ+ teens rejected by their own families, they never expected their act of kindness to ignite a family war. The wife’s religious sister branded the young adults “demons,” bombarded her with sermons for two years, then crossed a dangerous line: calling police for a fake “welfare check” on Thanksgiving.

Officers stormed in aggressively, terrifying everyone. Now facing trauma and betrayal, the wife has warned she’s seeking a restraining order. Is she going too far—or finally protecting her chosen family?

‘AITA for telling my sister I am going to get a restraining order?’

It started two years ago when the couple discovered two newly 18-year-old teens living in their car:

When the sister planned to visit and stay in the in-law suite, the wife explained the change:

The sister canceled the visit and later unloaded her judgment over the phone:

The breaking point came during this year’s Thanksgiving dinner with the now-20-year-olds:

The wife was so shaken that she called her sister immediately after:

The core issue is a sister weaponizing religious beliefs and police resources against her own family, turning disapproval into a dangerous escalation that traumatized everyone involved—including two vulnerable young adults who had already been rejected once. From the sister’s perspective, she may genuinely believe she’s “saving” her sister’s soul or protecting her from evil influences. Some people view non-traditional gender identities and relationships as spiritual threats, and feel compelled to intervene dramatically.

But society increasingly recognizes that chosen family, especially for LGBTQ+ youth rejected by blood relatives, is valid and often lifesaving. Calling police under false pretenses—especially when the caller knows the situation is safe—is not protection; it’s harassment and potentially criminal.

Legal expert and civil rights attorney Erin E. Buzuvis has written about the dangers of weaponized welfare checks and swatting in the context of family conflicts involving LGBTQ+ individuals (see resources from Lambda Legal and the National Center for Transgender Equality). Such actions can lead to violence, especially when police arrive with preconceived ideas, and disproportionately harm already marginalized people.

Practical steps: Consult an attorney immediately (as OP has started doing) before speaking to police again or contacting family. Pursue a restraining order for harassment and threats to safety. Consider filing a police report for false reporting/swatting, depending on state laws. A cease-and-desist letter can be a strong first step. Document everything—texts, calls, the police interaction. For emotional support, connect with local LGBTQ+ organizations or groups like PFLAG. The priority is protecting the peace and safety of the household, especially the two young adults who have already endured enough rejection.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Online reactions were almost unanimous in support of OP, with outrage at the sister’s actions and strong encouragement to take legal steps.

Nearly every commenter called OP NTA and labeled the sister’s police call as “swatting”—a dangerous, potentially deadly misuse of emergency services:

A few responses delivered sharp, sarcastic jabs that flipped the religious script back on the sister:

Several commenters gave level-headed, strategic advice focused on legal protection and long-term safety:

This story is a heartbreaking reminder that even the most compassionate acts can trigger backlash from people who weaponize religion or fear. OP chose love and safety over blood ties that had turned toxic. The sister’s escalation wasn’t about concern—it was about control.

What do you think? Would you file charges beyond just a restraining order? Or do you think cutting contact quietly (with legal protection) is enough? Share your thoughts below.