AITA for telling my sister gender reveal parties are tacky and attention seeking?

Imagine getting an invite to your sister’s gender reveal party, but instead of RSVP’ing, you snap that it’s “tacky” and a ploy for attention, dredging up old wounds from when her straight-A’s outshone your C’s and D’s. That’s the raw moment one 26-year-old woman, pregnant and living solo, unleashed on her 25-year-old sister, the family’s “golden child.” The call ended with a hang-up, and now their parents are fuming over her harsh words, while she’s left wondering if her resentment went too far.

This Reddit saga is a deep dive into sibling rivalry, jealousy, and family expectations. Was she wrong to lash out, or just venting years of frustration? Let’s unpack the story, get an expert’s take, and see how Reddit judges this sisterly showdown.

‘AITA for telling my sister gender reveal parties are tacky and attention seeking?’

A woman’s refusal to attend her sister’s gender reveal party spiraled into a bitter family argument. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

My sister (25f) has always been a bit of an attention seeker. She would always announce her grades, new jobs, raises, etc. whenever the family was together. It killed me when she used to tell the entire family she got a 100 on her test in a class that we were taking together even though she knew I only got a C- or D+ and they would ask me how I did after her announcement.

She was always the golden child and I (26f) was the screwup. We're both pregnant right now, both of our first kids. She's married with a great job and a house and I'm on my own in a studio right now. A couple weeks ago I got an invitation to her gender reveal barbecue/pool party. I didn't want to deal with her showing off to the entire family in front of me so I told her I won't be coming.

She asked why so I told her that I didn't want to deal with her friends and our family. She insisted it would be fun so I told her that gender reveal parties are tacky and I don't want to deal with it. She, again, insisted that it would be fun and just to think of it as a barbecue with colored cookies.

I snapped at her that I didn't want to go to a stupid party to watch her show off to our family just like she did when we were younger. She hung up on me and now our parents are upset at me for being rude to her.

This gender reveal spat is less about parties and more about unresolved sibling rivalry rooted in comparison. The woman’s resentment, fueled by her sister’s past academic and current personal successes, paints her sister as a show-off, but her lashing out reflects deeper feelings of inadequacy. Gender reveal parties, while polarizing, are a common celebration; her sister’s choice isn’t inherently attention-seeking.

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Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne notes, “Sibling rivalry often stems from perceived parental favoritism, amplifying jealousy into adulthood.” The woman’s focus on her sister’s “golden child” status suggests lingering pain; a 2024 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 62% of adult siblings report tension from childhood comparisons.

Dr. Whitbourne advises self-reflection: acknowledge jealousy, then focus on personal goals, like preparing for motherhood, to build confidence. An apology for the harsh words, paired with a boundary about future comparisons, could ease family tension.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s dishing out tough love on this sisterly clash—here’s the candid commentary:

[Reddit User] − YTA your sister is sharing her life milestones with her family, that’s not attention seeking at all. Stop being jealous and bitter.

DisastrousNail640 − YTA. Your example isn’t an indicator of a golden child btw. It’s completely normal for a child to want their parents to know they did well. You expected her to hide her accomplishments because you didn’t do as well?

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And you think she’s the problem?. Talk about jealous and selfish. I don’t like gender reveal parties either. But this has nothing to do with that and everything to do with your jealousy. Grow up.

Alarmed_Listen5588 − As the little sister that got A's to an older sibling that got D's, I understand your frustration as I had to watch my teachers and parents berate my sibling as to why they couldn't meet the same grades. For a long time, my sibling loathed me and would yell at me as to why I felt the need to show them up. Why did I always have to do better. Why couldn't I just fail for once.

I'm going to tell you what I told my sibling. I told them that they were not the main character of my life. I got top grades for me. So I could get into the college I wanted to go to. So I could shape my life the way I wanted it to go. I didn't make teachers be s**tty to them. They were just s**tty teachers. I didn't make our parents be s**tty parents, they just were.

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I suspect that you feel that your sister is the root cause for how your life is going. She's not. She's the root cause for how her life is going. You are the root cause for how your life is going. This post isn't about a gender reveal party although I do agree they suck. This post is about how you compare yourself to your sister.

You're going to be a Mom soon. You need to stop thinking about her and start thinking about you.. You can change where you are and where you'll be in the future. No, it won't be easy. Make little changes in your life and it can affect many things. If you want to go back to school. Don't think I can't afford it.

Think if I take 1-2 classes at a time it might be less stressful and more affordable. I'll need a babysitter tho, I can take online classes and adjust my schedule.. But I'm soo tired after work...Aren't you tired now?. Having the life you want is not easy and rarely given to you. Even Paris Hilton had to go thru some s**tty times and worked really hard to get where she is now.

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StrangeBadger7263 − YTA. There was no need to insult her you could have just stuck with I don’t want to go. I agree with your sentiment that’s gender reveals are dumb but she doesn’t.. If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.

LogicalLayer9518 − YTA. Are you going to be bitter and jealous forever because your younger sibling outperformed you academically? It’s normal to want to celebrate your successes in life with your family. Try to be happy for her.

Tdluxon − YTA. Gender reveal parties are pretty common these days, it's not like she is doing anything out of the ordinary. Don't go if you don't want to, but the comments are just bitter and jealous.

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nerdboyking − Yta and your sister isnt the golden child. You're just a jealous bitter a**hole who wants what she has. - a good job. - loving family. - big house. It seems like you might wanna change your attitude or youll be like my toxic half sister who stopped gettinf invited to family events 5 years ago

HairyDark9213 − YTA. You sound jealous as he'll.

Mx_Jez − YTA Your examples are just her sharing her progress with family, which is normal. If she was the one prompting you to compare scores in front of people itd be a different story, bit all she did was literally just share her accomplishments.. You're jealous and need to work through it without hurting your sister.

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[Reddit User] − Yta. You are jealous of her, period. You are angry at how your own life turned out and are taking it out on her for no reason.

These takes are as sharp as a sibling jab, urging the woman to confront her jealousy while defending her sister’s right to celebrate. Can a heartfelt apology mend this bond, or is the resentment too entrenched?

This tale of a gender reveal snub reveals how old sibling scars can bleed into new family moments. The woman’s not wrong to feel overshadowed, but calling her sister’s party tacky was a misaimed shot born of jealousy. Focusing on her own path and a sincere apology might pave the way for peace—especially with both sisters soon to be moms. Have you ever clashed with a sibling over past rivalries? What would you do in this woman’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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