AITA for telling my sister and BIL to leave for their attitude about my fiancée who used to be their sitter?

At a joyful gathering to announce an engagement, a man’s celebration turned sour when his sister and brother-in-law lobbed crude insults at his fiancée, their former babysitter, over a years-old grudge. After a tasteless jab in front of their toddler, he told them to leave his home, sparking a family feud. This Reddit saga asks: was his stand for his fiancée justified, or did he overreact to their bitterness?

This story hits home for anyone defending a loved one against family resentment. Reddit’s rallying behind the man, but was kicking them out too harsh? Let’s unpack this family clash, dive into expert insights, and hear the community’s verdict.

‘AITA for telling my sister and BIL to leave for their attitude about my fiancée who used to be their sitter?’

This engagement party blowup underscores the sting of family entitlement and boundary violations. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes in Psychology Today that “resentment in families often festers when expectations, like continued service, are unmet, leading to manipulative behavior.” The sister’s fixation on Jen’s departure as a babysitter—despite her fulfilling her role—reflects an unhealthy sense of ownership. Her crude remark, especially in front of a child, was a deliberate jab, and the BIL’s gift comment further disrespected the couple’s milestone.

The conflict centers on respect: the man defends his fiancée’s autonomy, while his sister clings to a false narrative of betrayal. A 2021 study in the Journal of Family Issues found that family members who feel entitled to others’ time or roles often lash out when challenged, as seen in the sister’s three-year grudge. Her comment in front of a toddler also risks modeling poor behavior.

Dr. Heitler advises setting firm boundaries with entitled relatives, ideally with calm consequences. The man’s ejection was a clear stand, though a private warning might have softened the fallout. For others, limiting contact or addressing past grievances directly can curb resentment.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew came out swinging, blasting the sister’s entitlement and crude outburst with righteous fury. Here’s what they had to say:

These fiery takes cheer the man’s defense but urge cutting ties—do they miss the chance for family repair? The sister’s claim of being “trashed” adds a twist: victim or aggressor?

This tale of a ruined engagement party shows how old grudges can poison new joys. The man’s order to leave protected his fiancée, but was it too abrupt for family ties? Should he push for an apology, or let the rift widen? How do you handle relatives who disrespect your partner over past roles? Drop your stories and thoughts in the comments—let’s keep this fiery debate alive!