AITA for telling my siblings I don’t care that both of our parents are dead?

In a quiet corner of a family chat, old wounds flare up. A man, long cast as the outsider in his own home, faces his siblings’ pleas to join a memorial for their late parents’ ruby anniversary. But for him, the idea stirs no warmth—only memories of rejection, harsh words, and a childhood spent dodging emotional blows. His blunt refusal shocks his siblings, igniting a firestorm of guilt-tripping.

This Reddit story peels back the layers of a fractured family, where love was unevenly shared. The man’s stand—declaring he doesn’t care that his parents are gone—sparks a clash over loyalty, forgiveness, and the scars of abuse. Readers dive into a raw question: must family ties endure despite decades of pain?

‘AITA for telling my siblings I don’t care that both of our parents are dead?’

This family’s rift exposes the deep wounds of parental abuse and estrangement. The man’s refusal to mourn his parents reflects a protective boundary, not pettiness. Dr. Lindsay Gibson, a psychologist specializing in emotionally immature parents, notes, “Adult children of toxic parents often need distance to heal.” His parents’ rejection—disowning him for being gay, sabotaging his life—justifies his detachment, yet his siblings’ criticism shows they may not grasp his pain.

The siblings’ push for a memorial highlights a broader issue: differing experiences within families. Research shows 40% of estranged adults cite abuse as the cause, yet siblings often minimize it if treated differently. The man’s blunt words may have stung, but they’re a truthful response to a lifetime of exclusion.

Gibson’s advice on setting boundaries could guide him. He might calmly explain his perspective to his siblings, emphasizing self-preservation over bitterness. Therapy could help him process lingering grief.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users brought empathy and a bit of spice, rallying behind the man with some sharp takes. Here’s a glimpse of their candid reactions:

These opinions pack a punch, but do they fully capture the weight of estrangement and healing?

This story shines a light on the messy reality of family ties broken by abuse. The man’s refusal to play along with a memorial honors his truth, even if it ruffles feathers. How would you handle siblings who expect you to mourn toxic parents? Share your thoughts or experiences below—what does it mean to choose peace over family obligation?