AITA for telling my roommate it’s his fault he doesn’t get laid?

In a shared apartment filled with friction, a 24-year-old’s active dating habits stir trouble with his roommate, Simon, a 29-year-old who stays home and grows bitter. Simon’s rude comments toward guests and complaints about “players” taking all the women lead to a tense argument. The man’s straightforward reply—that Simon’s loneliness comes from his own lack of effort—hits hard, revealing their opposite ways of living.

This lively story of roommate clashes draws you in with its bold energy and relatable tension. Online reactions back the man’s honest words, slamming Simon’s sour attitude and sparking talk about owning your choices in a shared home.

'AITA for telling my roommate it’s his fault he doesn’t get laid?'

The man sets the scene, outlining his living arrangement and initial agreement.

I (24M) have been living with my roommate "Simon" (29M) for about a year. I’m not in a relationship, but I occasionally bring one-night stands into our flat, which Simon...

He describes his efforts to be considerate, but tension brews.

That being said, I try not to bother him with excessive noises and any s__ual activity is limited to my bedroom only, but I don’t make a secret of having...

Simon’s behavior shifts, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.

Just recently, Simon has started becoming increasingly hostile towards me whenever I have someone over. He is incredibly rude and condescending to any person I hook up with and has...

Confronting Simon reveals his resentment and troubling views.

When I asked whether something was bothering him, he told me that he was fed up with guys like me "stealing girls" from guys like him. I asked what he...

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The man points out Simon’s lack of effort, offering a solution.

He tends to stay home on the weekends and whenever he meets up with someone, it’s usually to play video games with one of his friends, so I think it’s...

I offered that he could come with me the next time I go if he wanted to get in contact with someone, but he turned down the idea because "nice,...

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Simon’s insults escalate, prompting a sharp reality check.

I then asked how exactly he expects to meet someone if he never goes out (he works remotely, never really leaves our flat apart from shopping and as far as...

He got defensive and told me that he didn’t want one of the "sluts" I was picking up at the club anyway, and that he wanted a girl who preferred...

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I told him that he that he should stop blaming other people for his inability to find a date when he is not giving anyone the opportunity to even meet...

The argument ends with Simon doubling down, leaving tension unresolved.

He called me an AH because "it’s easy for me to make assumptions" and that it’s always f*ckboys who pretend dating is so easy when they’re the ones preventing the...

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This man’s confrontation with Simon exposes a clash of lifestyles and deeper issues of resentment and entitlement. His efforts to be considerate—limiting noise, offering to include Simon—show respect for their shared space. Simon’s hostility, however, reveals a troubling mindset, often labeled “incel” or “nice guy,” where he blames others for his isolation while refusing to take action. The man’s blunt words, though harsh, were a direct response to Simon’s insults and misogyny.

From Simon’s perspective, his frustration may stem from insecurity or social anxiety, exacerbated by seeing his roommate’s active social life. His language, though, crosses into toxic territory, dismissing women and lashing out. This situation highlights broader issues of how personal insecurities can strain cohabitation and fuel unhealthy attitudes toward dating.

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, notes, “Self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ often harbor resentment when their passive approach doesn’t yield results”. Simon’s refusal to engage socially while blaming others fits this pattern. The man’s reality check was warranted but may not shift Simon’s views without deeper intervention.

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To move forward, the man could set firm boundaries, like locking his door or addressing Simon’s rudeness directly with a calm warning. Simon might benefit from therapy to address his resentment and social avoidance. If tensions persist, as some Redditors suggest, finding a new roommate could be the healthiest option for both.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Most users backed the man, condemning Simon’s attitude and praising the reality check.

Enough-Variety-8468 − NTA You're taking all the girls he doesn't want anyway?

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MobianCanine2893 − This guy is radiating MAJOR "incel" energy. NTA. You did good trying to get him to realize that he's in his own way of meeting new people, even...

jasperjamboree − So he doesn’t want you to hook up because he feels entitled to say that should be him hooking up and not you. Then he has the nerve...

It’s always the people who call themselves “nice guys” who turn out to be the worst people. What does he want you to do if he’s home all the time...

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Does he want you to pick up girls at the library or grocery store and take them home like a delivery service? What is this incel nonsense? He seems like...

retriversRock − NTA, sounds like your roomie is one of those “nice guys” who are generally the freaking worst in reality. Men can’t “steal women” from other men, women have...

Tell him dating apps are a thing and a great way for introverts to meet people. I met my fiancé on one and then we realize we lived 15 mins...

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CaraSandDune − Incel alert NTA. I would reconsider living with him, his energy is going to creep out your female guests.

Some warned about Simon’s behavior escalating, urging caution.

LockeProposal − NTA, and I would get the f__k out of there. He uses strong incel language, and quite a few of those people have turned into mass shooters. There...

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You're absolutely right in your assessment, but you're not going to be the one to change his ways, and he sounds like a f__king time bomb.

Jackiebear12 − Get a lock for your bedroom door as his behavior will keep getting more hostile.

pitmeng1 − Your roommate is toxic, you are right about it being his own fault, and you should find a new roommate.

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A few added humor, poking fun at Simon’s contradictions.

Ok_Path1734 − NTA. Get him a blowup doll.

[Reddit User] − NTA Your room mate is bitter because he wants to blame everyone and everything else around him for his failures like most incels tend to do. He...

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[Reddit User] − Its always the self proclaimed nice shy guys calling women sluts. Nta. And dont take him out with you. You don't want to be associated with those...

Puff-n-Stuff − Yikes on several bikes, you've got yourself an incel of the Eeeesh type. Good on you for calling him out. NTA.

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ResponsibleShoe902 − It’s your fault for getting the girls he apparently doesn’t want. It’s the women he apparently doesn’t want fault for getting with you “the player” It’s not his...

He is the definition of the Morty meme of how nice guys think s__ works with the punch card of how many times they respected women. Just tell him it’s...

tileman1440 − NTA, Did not lose my V card until in was 25, the guy is just an online nice guy but in reality is a festering arse who thinks...

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... Like every woman goes for the d__g dealer lol He will never change because to him nice guys finish last, but in reality hes not nice, nor is he...

Ive been the fat 24 year old virgin who cant even look a woman in the eye and the ripped guy who has multiple women's attention and found no girl...

Any guy who talks about "stealing a woman" is the kinda guy women avoid because they are not property, you cant steal a womans attention, if they like you you...

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Plus i hate to use the league terms but i bet hes looking at the top tier girls when hes below average. I get his life because ive been in...

[Reddit User] − so he’s an incel. got it. NTA.

This man’s clash with his roommate reveals a stark divide in how they approach life and relationships. His blunt call-out of Simon’s inaction and toxic attitude was justified, but Simon’s hostility signals deeper issues that could strain their living situation further. What would you do—confront a roommate’s resentment head-on or start looking for the exit?

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