AITA For telling my parents to get divorced?

The clock strikes 1 AM, and the house shakes with the familiar sound of shattering glass and raised voices. In a dimly lit bedroom, a teenager buries their face in a pillow, desperate for sleep before another grueling school day. This is the nightly reality for the original poster (OP), caught in the crossfire of their parents’ toxic marriage. Their raw frustration spills over in a bold outburst, urging their parents to divorce for everyone’s sake. But was their plea too harsh, or a necessary wake-up call? This story dives into the emotional toll of a fractured home, pulling readers into a relatable struggle many face behind closed doors.

The OP’s courage to confront their parents’ endless fighting sparks a question: when does staying together “for the kids” do more harm than good? With vivid Reddit comments and expert insight, this tale unravels the messy truth of family conflict, inviting readers to reflect on love, loyalty, and the pursuit of peace.

‘AITA For telling my parents to get divorced?’

I’m not 18 yet, and I still live with my parents. My parents absolutely hate each other, and they fight every day. They almost never sleep in the same bed anymore. They said they want a divorce, but they won’t do it because they have children. About 2 days ago, I was trying to sleep. It was about 1AM and I had school the next day.

My mom was yelling at my dad because he put his brother before the family, and my dad replied that he didn’t even want to be in the family anymore, and the only reason he stays is because of the children. They started screaming, crying, and breaking things. They were talking about how they wish they never got married. I’m used to this, but I’d finally had enough.

I went downstairs and said something along the lines of “shut up! I’m trying to sleep! I don’t care if you get a divorce! It’s better than having to listen to you guys scream and cry like children every single day! So yeah, go ahead and get a divorce. If you really cared about your children, you’d want them to be in a better environment than this!”. They haven’t spoken to me or each other since. Am I The A**hole?

Edit: they finally talked to me.. well, at least my mom did. Both of them are mentally abusive to each other, and my mom gets physical sometimes. My mom told me that she’s staying with him so she will have money. Oh boy, thanks mom. That makes things so much better. Jesus I can’t take this sad excuse for a family. No wonder my sister moved out at 16.

I draw and dance to get my mind off of it, but just now they bursted into my room telling me to “get your ass to bed”. I tried explaining that I couldn’t fall asleep because of how loud they were, and they take my headphones at night. Now they’re more pissed. It’s 12:21 AM guys. This is BS. I have school tomorrow.

Edit 2: I’m still up. I have to get up for school in 4 hours. Greeeaat. I’m reading all of the replies. It’s amazing to know that I’m not alone. Thank you all so much. I’m literally tearing up right now. I though I would get responses like “don’t yell at your parents! It’s disrespectful!” But I still gave it a shot. I’m so glad I did.. Edit 3: still up. Thanks for keeping me calm, guys.

ADVERTISEMENT

Family conflicts like this can feel like navigating an emotional landmine. The OP’s situation, where parents cling to a toxic marriage “for the children,” is sadly common. According to a 2019 study by the American Psychological Association, children in high-conflict households face increased risks of anxiety and depression, often longing for stability over forced unity.

The OP’s parents are locked in a cycle of verbal and emotional abuse, with the mother admitting financial dependency as a motive for staying. This dynamic traps everyone in a toxic loop. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes, “When parents model contempt and hostility, children learn to normalize unhealthy relationships”. Here, the OP’s outburst reflects a desperate need for a healthier environment, not disrespect.

ADVERTISEMENT

This situation highlights a broader issue: the stigma around divorce. Many parents fear societal judgment, yet staying in a dysfunctional marriage can harm children more. The OP’s plea for divorce isn’t rebellion—it’s a cry for peace. Experts suggest open communication and family therapy as starting points. Parents could explore mediation to navigate separation calmly, prioritizing the children’s well-being. For the OP, finding safe outlets like drawing or dancing is crucial, but seeking a trusted adult or counselor can offer long-term support.

Ultimately, the OP’s courage to speak up deserves validation. Parents should reflect on how their actions shape their children’s future relationships. Seeking professional help, like therapy through resources like Family Psychology, can guide families toward healing or healthier separation.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of empathy and fiery takes. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, buzzing with support and a few sharp jabs:

ADVERTISEMENT

felineunderling − NTA. Perhaps this will be a wake up call for them, seeing the effect they’re having on their children. I hope your situation improves.

[Reddit User] − your parents need to grow tf up

[Reddit User] − NTA- sounds like divorce is what the family needs. Kids shouldn't be growing up in that type of environment.

ADVERTISEMENT

Saklerunp − NTA. This has been going on for a while now. Sometimes people know what they need to do, they just want someone else to tell them too.

echelon_01 − NTA. I did the same thing to my parents. Hopefully this will help them understand that staying together 'for the children' is a terrible idea if the children are right in the middle of World War III all day every day.

NevisLibaurd − OH MY BOY NTA: THE HERO THAT THEY NEED BUT NOT THE HERO THEY DESERVED. Please print out this and give it to your parents they both being assholes and the unforgivable part is they doing that s**t at 1AM on a school night . They can shut the F Up, and grow the F up.

ADVERTISEMENT

nocteem − No, you’re not. My family divorced when I was 9. You certainly deserve a psychologically safe place. I hope they understand it as soon as possible. Take care..

jhnsmth_1971 − NTA But your parents most definitely are.

isolationist1226 − NTA. This is exactly why my parents DID divorce lmao

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering their honesty while slamming the parents’ late-night chaos. Some saw divorce as the only path to peace; others hoped it might jolt the parents awake. But do these bold opinions capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

The OP’s story is a raw reminder that sometimes, the bravest act is speaking truth to chaos. Their plea for divorce wasn’t about disrespect but a longing for a home where peace isn’t a pipe dream. It challenges us to rethink what “family” means when love turns toxic. What would you do if you were caught in a similar storm, torn between loyalty and self-preservation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *