AITA for telling my parents to F off when my parents mentioned my birth circumstances at a party?

The air was thick with the hum of teenage chatter and the clink of soda cans at a vibrant 16th birthday bash. Amid the laughter, a 15-year-old girl nibbled pretzels, unaware her evening was about to unravel. Her parents, lingering in the room, turned a casual moment into a public spectacle, airing old grievances about their teenage sacrifices. Her heart sank as their words stung, sparking a fiery retort that silenced the room.

The girl’s frustration wasn’t new—it simmered from years of hearing how her birth disrupted her parents’ lives. Their constant comparisons to her “perfect” younger sister only deepened the wound. Readers can’t help but feel her embarrassment and rage, wondering: was her outburst justified, or did she cross a line? This tale of family tension and teenage defiance sets the stage for a heated debate.

‘AITA for telling my parents to F off when my parents mentioned my birth circumstances at a party?’

I (15f) was born when my parents were still teenagers. My parents always talk about how they were not ready to have me and how everything would be better if they did not have kids at age 16. They talk about it as if it were my fault for being born at the wrong time. 4 years later, they had Seraphine, 11f, and she is definitely the favorite.

They always joke about how I should be more like my younger sister, but it never feels like a joke. I am expected to treat her like the spawn of Jesus, and if I don’t, they say how I was lucky they could even afford to raise me, and I should behave perfectly. I apparently owe. them for their ‘sacrifices’, that sometimes I honestly wish they never made.

My mom’s co-worker’s daughter is my friend, and she invited me to her 16th birthday party. My parents wanted to come so they could chat, and they drove me there. I was eating pretzels in the same room as them, and my mom grabbed the bag. I asked her what was wrong, she said that I already had a lot of food today.

We got into an argument, she was doing her usual guilt tripping and then she started yelling at me. I noticed my friends coming out of the room, and I told her to stop, but I may have raised my voice. She, very loudly, said, “sorry, this one is very hard to handle.

One day she will appreciate the sacrifices that teenage-me made to have her,” and chuckled. I quietly told her to F off (I did not say the whole word, just the letter if that changes anything.) She drove me home, and would not talk to me in the car. I did not think I was the AH at first but I am starting to think so. Am I?

Publicly shaming a child for existing is a parenting misstep that cuts deep. The girl’s parents, still grappling with their teenage choices, seem to project their regrets onto her. This dynamic, sadly, isn’t rare. Licensed therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “When parents express resentment toward a child, it erodes trust and self-worth” (Gottman Institute). Their loud “sacrifice” talk at a party wasn’t just tactless—it was emotionally harmful.

The parents’ favoritism toward the younger sister adds another layer of strain. The older daughter faces constant comparisons, fostering resentment and low self-esteem. Psychologically, this can lead to long-term issues like anxiety, as studies show 60% of teens in such dynamics report mental health struggles (American Psychological Association). Both sides have valid feelings: the parents’ youth was challenging, but the daughter didn’t choose to be born.

This story reflects a broader issue: generational guilt-tripping. Parents sometimes wield past hardships as a tool for control, ignoring the child’s autonomy. Dr. Gottman’s advice applies here: “Validate emotions without blaming.” The parents could acknowledge their struggles privately, not as a weapon against their daughter.

For the teen, setting boundaries is key. She might calmly express how their comments hurt, perhaps with a trusted adult’s support, like a counselor. For the parents, reflecting on their words’ impact could rebuild trust. Open dialogue, though tough, could shift this family’s dynamic toward healing.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, and their takes are as candid as a late-night group chat. Here’s what the community had to say:

ghostinthewindow − NTA. You're being abused emotionally. It's not your fault you were born, they need to stop punishing you for their own choices.

CrystalQueen3000 − NTA. It sucks that she’s spent your whole life punishing you for *her* choices.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mother shouldn't have been at that party to begin with. You're a teen. You deserve space to hang out with your friends. Your mother didn't only come along, she created drama. That's very unfair to you. You don't need her making a spectacle.

She sounds immature. It's perfectly fair that you told her to 'stop' creating a spectacle. It's also fair that you called her out when she brought up your birth. If I were you, I would find a quiet time to tell her that you NEVER want to hear her refer to your birth again. It wasn't your fault that she made choices.

Any 'sacrifices' she has made have been because of her choices. They have nothing to do with anything you have done. Warn her that if she continues doing this, she will damage your relationship. Then whenever she does it, get up and leave the room. Do not put up with it. She is not a saint. She made decisions like we all do and is now living with them. That is on her.

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Yogimonsta − NTA. Your parents seem to (weirdly) wield their supposed “sacrifices” like a sword. That’s not how it works, it’s not fair to you as a young adult, and while parents generally get a little leeway to give their child crap, even in public… she literally snatched a snack out of your hand because you had “already eaten a lot” today.

That’s ridiculous, and honestly its rude to have those kinds of arguments in public. The military has a saying “praise in public, criticize in private” because it’s nobody else’s damn business.

Next time they mention their “sacrifices”, remind them that they’re the ones who chose to have s** at 16. *They themselves* are the reason for said sacrifices.

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murphy2345678 − NTA Your parents have been emotionally abusing you for years. I hate to say it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop. Is there a grandparent or aunts/uncles you could reach out to for help? You should plan on getting out of there when you turn 18. If you can secretly save any money you get. I am very sorry they act this way.

ShadyVermin − NTA, I'd snap too if I had to constantly hear that, from my own parents no less. They made their choices, that's not on you.

Chargednotconvicted − NTA. If I had to constantly hear how much of a burden I was (and am), I'd probably say the same thing. Your parents are the assholes here. I feel bad for you but remember it's not you, it's them. They are the ones who can't parent properly.

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chart1961 − NTA. Your mom humiliating you is abuse. She sounds like she never grew up. Make an appointment with the school counselor, because your whole family needs professional help. To make it perfectly clear, I am not saying there is anything wrong with you, but your parents should not be treating you and your sister the way they do.

You do not owe them anything for 'sacrificing' whatever when they were teenagers. They chose to have you, and sacrifice was a big part of it. They knew this going in. Children do not owe their parents anything for raising them-that is a parent's chosen responsibility, and they know that.

jacklynpage − NTA- remind your mom that you are a person and if she regretted you, you can cut contact at 18. That you don’t owe her anything for being an irresponsible teenager that had a kid and to stop guilt tripping you every two seconds.

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juliet_106 − This abuse. My mother did the same s**t to me, and it took me years to realize that. I'm glad that your seeing it early. Seek help if you can, from a professional if you can afford it. Emotional abuse is still abuse, and it deserves to be recognized as such. NTA

These are spicy opinions, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just Reddit being Reddit?

This story leaves us grappling with tough questions about family, guilt, and growing up. The teen’s outburst was raw, but her parents’ public jabs lit the fuse. It’s a messy clash of perspectives, and there’s no easy fix. What would you do if you were in her shoes, caught between loyalty and standing up for yourself? Share your thoughts—have you faced similar family drama, and how did you handle it?

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