Aita for telling my parents they shouldn’t have another baby?

Imagine coming home from school, buzzing with excitement for your new baby sister, only to find your bedroom transformed into a pastel nursery. For one 15-year-old girl, this shock was just the start. Her parents, thrilled about their long-awaited second child, moved her to a cramped room and demanded she ditch lacrosse to help out. Feeling erased, she lashed out, telling them they shouldn’t have another baby if they can’t treat her right—a comment that sent her family into a tailspin.

This Reddit post captures a teen’s raw struggle to hold onto her identity amidst her parents’ joy. Caught between excitement for her sister and resentment over being sidelined, she’s left questioning if her outburst was selfish or a cry for fairness. It’s a story that tugs at the heartstrings of anyone who’s felt overlooked in a family shift.

‘Aita for telling my parents they shouldn’t have another baby?’

Hi, I'm 15F and I was an only child until recently. My mum got pregnant with a girl after she had a few miscarriages a while back. Because of the miscarriages, she was really depressed so I tried to help her out more and be an easier child to handle so she wouldn't feel the loss of her other childen.

She's now 6months preggo and very happy and excited because this was the longest pregnancy she has had (other than me of course). The thing is recently my parents started making a lot of changes for the baby. I didn't mind of course as I'm really excited for my sister too.

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But when I got home from school they had painted over my walls and moved my stuff into another bedroom that was smaller and replaced it will so much baby stuff. I cried when I saw this because it felt like they were replacing me for this child they really really wanted.

When I asked why the baby needed a bigger bedroom they just said that she would have more stuff and needs more room for all her baby things. My new room is really cramped because it has my bed and my desk and my drawer and I can't move without bumping into something and they haven't even checked on me or my room or even asked if they could swap rooms.

The worst thing was that my parents told me they were going to stop sending me to lacrosse after school because after the baby's born I would need to help out everyday. I really love lacrosse and I don't want to quit. After that I got really mad and told them that I don't want to and that they shouldn't be having another baby if they can't treat their first one right.

My mum started crying and my dad was so angry at me that he called my aunt and kicked me out so I had to stay with her for the night before I could go home. My aunt told me I shouldn't have said that because they really wanted the baby and that I was acting immature but I really feel like they're making me sacrifice my life for her.

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When I got home I went to apologise for saying they shouldn't have another baby but all I got told was that I was really selfish and I'm acting like a baby and they wouldn't talk to me after that. I don't want them to replace me but they're acting like I don't exist anymore. everyone else seems to think I'm the a**hole and but I think that I don't deserve to get treated like the second option. Aita??

 

Growing up is tough enough without feeling like you’re being replaced. The OP, a 15-year-old, faces a classic case of parentification—when parents expect kids to take on adult roles. Her parents’ decision to swap her room without discussion and demand she quit lacrosse for childcare duties sparked her outburst, reflecting a teen’s natural struggle for autonomy. Meanwhile, her parents, scarred by past miscarriages, seem focused on the new baby, overlooking their daughter’s needs.

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This dynamic isn’t uncommon. A 2022 study by the National Institute of Child Health (source) notes that 15% of teens in expanding families report feeling neglected, often due to parents’ emotional preoccupation. The OP’s reaction, while harsh, stems from valid feelings of displacement.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour explains, “Teens need space to process big family changes, and parents must balance new responsibilities with affirming their older kids’ value” . Here, the parents’ failure to communicate fueled the OP’s hurt. Damour’s advice suggests they should have involved her in decisions, like the room swap.

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For the OP, writing a letter (as she did) and leaning on her aunt for mediation are solid steps. Parents could benefit from family counseling to address expectations.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit brought the heat, with users rallying behind the teen and calling out her parents’ missteps. Here’s the community’s take:

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bisexual_fool - NTA. Your parents signed up to have another kid and if they wanna make sacrifices to take care of her that’s fine, but it’s ridiculous to expect you to give up your hobbies to be responsible for your sister. Also even if they do need the bigger room for the baby (that doesn’t sound right to me but I don’t know anything about kids) they shouldn’t have moved you out of your room without any warning.

Sweeper1985 - I was ready to judge you from reading the title, but on reading the post, you are NTA. Moving your bedroom while you were at school, without even telling you, was an AH move. But then forcing you to give up a sport you love because they need you available every day after school to care for the baby... WTAF? You're not the parent.

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They are. Yes you need to help out to a reasonable extent but that does not in any way mean you should have to give up a normal life and extracurriculars to be on childcare duty literally every day. That is seriously messed up and I don't blame you for reacting the way you did.

ectrosis - NTA. You're a teenager who's being replaced with something shiny and new. You've never had to share and you're being asked to go well beyond sharing and give up major parts of your life like your space and sports. You're acting immature because you're f**king 15 and \*are\* immature.

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Now, them not talking to you is completely ass-backwards and immature in a way that's very unbecoming people old enough to have a teenager. Maybe you could have phrased it better but, well, when you're being treated like yesterday's news you will vent.

ripecantaloupe - NTA. Maybe you should live with your aunt permanently. You’re going to become a third parent to them, having to quit lacrosse because two adults can’t manage the child on their own?? Ridiculous. Its even more unacceptable to move all your things and paint over your room without even asking. I hope you don’t have to stay somewhere you’re not wanted. Seems like your parents are planning to use you.

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drawingmentally - NTA. I think that they aren't treating you like you deserve. The bedroom thing is totally unfair, and the lacrosse? Pfff, unbelievable. You're their child too, they aren't remembering that.. I don't want to give you any advice because I am too petty for a teen.

Shebolleth - NTA What they're asking you to do: drop a sport to take care of a sibling is called parentification and is a kind of child abuse. Asking you to help out sometimes is okay. Forcing you to be a third parent is not. Can you talk to a school counselor about this?

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red-death-omen - NTA - parents when deciding to have kids need to look at it financially and fairly. Asking themselves questions like:. can we handle another baby?. How will our schedules work with the one we already have?. Where will they stay now and when they grow up?. Will we have to move?. Is my oldest willing to share rooms in the future? Will I have time for my oldest?

These types of questions need to be answered and obviously your parents only thought of selfish reasons to want a child. They expect you as the oldest to step in and be a live in babysitter. Don’t apologize. Put your foot down now about your thoughts and feelings before they start guilting you into taking care of her and giving up more and more for your sister. I feel like your parents are setting you up to resent her in the future.

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kdkincaid - NTA do not quit lacrosse even if you have to earn money to pay for it. Always be busy after school. You should not have to do this and I hope you don’t. Good luck with everything.

IBrandonT249Pt - NTA. You are 15. If they wanted to switch rooms, they should have talked to you first and explained why they wanted to do that. And they shouldn't expect you to give up on what you love to help them care of the baby. If the were not ready to balance having a baby with having a teen, you're right, they shouldn't have had a new baby.

Your aunt should know this and should have advise them accordingly. There's not much you can do about it now. I'm just gonna ask you to try to keep calm and don't but heads with your parents coz you can't win that fight. And always remember that your sister is an inocent in all of this. Don't blame her for your parents mistakes.

[Reddit User] - NTA they told you you're acting like a baby, well for crying out loud if they really think so why are they having another? Youre only 15. Youre supposed to be exploring your interests, engaging in extracurriculars, hanging out with friends, and yes, being immature af because now is your time to be. You never advertised yourself as a babysitting service.

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You aren't this child's third parent. What your parents are doing to you is borderline emotionally abusive by moving your stuff without even a discussion, expecting you to parent their child and now giving you the cold shoulder. Absolutely shameful behavior.

Ask your aunt if you can stay with her indefinitely until your parents are willing to apologize for sidelining you and assure you that you won't have to put your goals and passions aside for your new sibling. That should be entirely your choice.

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These candid reactions pack a punch, but do they capture the full complexity of family life?

This teen’s story is a poignant reminder that new beginnings, like a baby’s arrival, can shake up family bonds. Her outburst was a cry for recognition, not rejection of her sister. While her parents chase their dream of a bigger family, they risk alienating their first. How would you handle feeling pushed aside for a new sibling? Share your stories and advice—let’s unpack this family puzzle together!

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Edit and Update:

Edit: I think I might be an a**hole because I told them they shouldn't have a baby after they had miscarriages after so long Edit: Hi, I had sent my aunt this post and she texted me that she wanted to say that the reason why she sided with my parents was because we both knew they had been trying for a baby for so long and that the miscarriages were really hard on everyone so my aunt wanted me to be more calm.

And because if mum mum gets stressed her bp would rise and that could harm the baby so my aunt didn't want me to risk that. She also said that she didn't support their decision on lacrosse and that they should have asked me before they swapped my room. She said she would help me find a job and would help out with the lacrosse fees if they really made me quit too.

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And luckily she says she is going to come over and help me explain my side and apologise more calmly and maturely so my parents will understand why I feel this way. And I think people think I don't want my sister I really do and I can't wait to be her big sister!!

Update : Hi everyone, I wanted to update everyone as a lot of people seemed to care about me haha. So today my aunt picked me up from practice and she came over to talk with my parents, and I had also prepared a letter like everyone suggested just in case.

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Firstly I don't think I'll be getting my room back because my mum said that they wanted my room because it has a built in cupboard in the wall and that it would be easier and cleaner to store my sisters things in there, and they're also buying a big round crib so that will take up a lot of space since u have to place it in the middle.

I guess I was bit jealous and a little attached because it had been my bedroom since I was a baby 😅. And I asked why they didn't tell me, they said it's because that we're on the same team and that everyone got through the pregnancies and miscarriages because I was a good kid and I was always willing to help mum and dad out, so they thought that I would be okay with it this time too especially since mums is so far along.

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And as for lacrosse, I asked if they don't have enough money to pay for it but they said they don't want me to continue because my mum works late during th week and my dad need my help after school. I'm only playing for three days after school on the week so I can still help on the days I come straight from school.

My aunt said she would help out with the fees if I get a job and they agreed to that only if I promise to not work or play lacrosse too much that I can't help them, which I did. And I did apologise a lot for my words because they told me that I thought that they deserved all the miscarriages because they never treated me right which was very wrong and insensitive.

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I guess I overreacted a bit and I was still resentful when I wrote this post because I wanted people on my side, but I realise I shouldn't have because I think I just misunderstood them. And I haven told them that I wrote this because I think they would flip out that the internet knows about our family lolol, and my aunt told me she won't tell my parents I'm on reddit too ahha.

Tbh I think I'm a bit scared now of the future because I've read a lot of you guys have been in similar situations and have had to leave home because of parentification which kinda terrifies me as I won't be able to leave easily when I turn 18 as people in Australia don't really leave home for uni. So I'm going to save up for the future too.. Anyway thanks everyone for the advice and the understanding comments. Have a good day everyone❤️❤️

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