AITA for telling my parents they can’t keep my baby by themselves?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The soft coo of a 2-month-old fills a cozy home, but tension simmers when a new mom discovers her own mother’s betrayal: feeding her baby rice cereal against her explicit wishes. Returning from an overnight stay, the mom’s heart sinks as her mother shrugs off the act, sparking a fiery text exchange and a bold decision—no more unsupervised babysitting by her parents. Now, with her mom refusing calls and her dad hinting at ultimatums, the family teeters on the edge of a rift.

This story of trust, boundaries, and a baby’s safety tugs at the heartstrings of any parent who’s faced meddling family. The sting of disregarded rules meets the weight of protecting a vulnerable newborn, leaving readers wondering: is this mom standing her ground or stirring unnecessary drama? Can this family mend the divide?

‘AITA for telling my parents they can’t keep my baby by themselves?’

My parents and in laws have been kind enough to split days in the week to watch my baby while DH and I work. These past two days my parents had him at their house overnight. When my mom brought him back, she said I know this is going to p**s you off and you can be pissed off but.

Then she told me that she had put rice cereal in my 2 month olds bottle. I'd previously told her I didn't want to give him cereal right now, and when I brought it up she said no the last you said was that you were thinking about it. Whatever. I ended up sending her a text telling her I was upset and mad because she went behind my back with it, and then acted blase about it, like it didn't matter to her that it pissed me off.

I told her that I thought she didn't respect me as his mom otherwise she would have at least asked first. Then I told her that right now I don't trust her to keep the baby without me or my husband there. Now she's pissed, upset and won't take my calls.

My dad tried to play it off that she didn't mean harm and said she wasn't going to come watch him with a heavy implication of unless you apologize and remove the restriction.. AITA for not letting them watch my baby alone? Should I stick to this hill?

ETA: thank y'all so much for the encouragement and awards. To clarify a few things: I called my mom because she is having a medical procedure Tuesday and I'm supposed to be taking her there/home. I wanted to confirm she still wanted me to do it or not.

Our parents offered childcare for the first year; hubs and I had saved a good bit for a daycare to send bebe to, and that money is still there. We try not to take advantage of their offer and are completely willing to work around their needs as they come.

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We can and don't have any problem putting him in a day care for two days a week. There's no plans of completely with holding the baby from my parents. When we feel we can trust them again, they can keep him alone. Until then, we have to be with them. Again, thanks to everyone. I appreciate also the reassurance that I'm not crazy for thinking the rice cereal is dangerous for bebe, and I'll talk to his pediatrician about it too. Thanks so much!

When grandparents overstep parenting boundaries, it’s like a crack in the foundation of family trust. This mom’s fury over her mother feeding her 2-month-old rice cereal—against her clear instructions—reflects a deeper issue of respect. Her decision to limit unsupervised babysitting is a bold move to protect her baby, while her parents’ defensive reaction suggests they’re stung by the loss of trust.

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Dr. Janet Lansbury, a parenting expert, stresses, “Boundaries with family are essential for a child’s safety and a parent’s peace of mind” (Janet Lansbury’s website). Feeding rice cereal to a 2-month-old is risky; the American Academy of Pediatrics warns it can cause choking and digestive issues in infants under 4–6 months (AAP). The grandmother’s casual dismissal and claim of a misunderstanding only deepen the betrayal, as she knowingly ignored the mom’s rules.

This taps into a broader issue: grandparents undermining new parents’ authority, often due to outdated practices. The mom’s proactive step to consult her pediatrician and explore daycare options shows strength. Advice: She should maintain firm boundaries, calmly explain the health risks to her parents, and rebuild trust gradually through supervised visits. Open communication, perhaps with a family mediator, can help.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crowd dove into this family drama like it’s a soap opera at the baby shower, serving up support and a sprinkle of sass. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

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funwithtentacles − NTA, but this is almost more /r/JUSTNOMIL material.... They'll be better at giving you advice on this absolutely boundary breaking behaviour. You're also absolutely right and justified in setting hard limits in how you want your child to be raised, and there is absolutely nothing wrong in sanctioning your ~~inlaws~~ parents for crossing the boundaries you set in place.. Nip this s**t in the bud, or they'll keep on walking all over you!⁷

Swegh_ − NTA - she fed a baby, who was far too young and not developed enough, food that you specifically said no to. She thinks she knows better. She does not. You are the parent. You know better. She broke your trust and boundaries. She needs to prove she won’t do it again.

Consider r/justnoMIL (they handle mothers as well). She knew you would get upset yet she did it anyway. What else has she done that you don’t approve of but you don’t know about? She clearly doesn’t care nor respect your rules.

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DeviantDe − NTA. Plant a flag on that hill, build a house there, whatever. How she told you shows she knew you would be upset. She's now upset that you haven't forgiven her in her time frame. That is not your problem, it's hers. This is your child, your rules. She doesn't get a say in when, what or how it's ok to change anything going on with your baby, and she surely doesn't get to do it behind your back.

SaltywithaTwist − Absolutely NTA. She knew you wouldn't like it or agree so she went behind your back.. - A 2 month old does not need cereal. PERIOD.. - Putting it in a bottle is a choking hazard. - Rice cereal is not the best cereal choice. She made her bed. Now she can lie in it. And learn to respect your decisions.

whyamisoawesome9 − NTA. That is a massive overstep, and quite simply 2 months old is way to early for foods like that. It's a health / choking hazard.

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tlcb84 − NTA It was common to add baby cereal to bottles when she was raising kids so they slept longer. It's not recommended now for obvious reasons. But she probably figured she did it with you so it's ok. It's not. But that's where I think it was coming from. She's not as young as she was and it's probably harder for her getting up for all the overnight feeds.

Still, not ok but I can see why she thought it was ok. Tough situation that hopefully doesn't lead to estrangement, sounds like you have a village right now and that would be unfortunate if you didn't have that anymore. Some civil talks are probably in order, I don't think she meant to harm, she's just remembering everything she was taught by nurses and doctors back then.

PrehistoricSquirrel − ...she said I know this is going to p**s you off and you can be pissed off but. She knew this was wrong. She did it anyway. She knew it would 'p**s you off' And she is *allowing* you to be pissed off. Yippee. Guess what? She's going to do it again. She's going to do other things that you don't want to that baby and try to rationalize it away.

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I'd previously told her I didn't want to give him cereal right now, and when I brought it up she said no the last you said was that you were thinking about it. Okay, I guess because you did not explicitly forbid cereal it's okay? Except you did say no cereal and she knew this would p**s you off.. You are wise to not trust her with your baby. NTA. Protect your baby.

hello-mr-cat − NTA. Free childcare is never free. You pay for it in other ways. Your mom showed a blatant disrespect towards you as an adult as a mother. Grandma doesn't get to see baby anymore. Your dad is a classic enabler.

musicnote95 − NTA. Your kid, your rules

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baconcheesecakesauce − NTA - that's incredibly disrespectful and dangerous. When you get down to it, free childcare is never free. You'll need other arrangements and to not leave your child unattended with your parents until they have regained your trust. Me

Redditors rallied behind the mom, slamming the grandmother’s boundary-crossing and flagging the cereal as a health hazard. Some urged her to hold firm, while others saw the grandma’s actions as misguided but not malicious. But do these hot takes nail the issue, or are they just fanning the family flames?

This new mom’s stand against her parents’ overstep is a testament to her fierce love for her baby, even if it means rocking the family boat. Her mother’s casual disregard for her rules sparked a trust crisis, but her shift to daycare and pediatrician guidance shows a path forward. As the family navigates this tension, the hope for reconciliation lingers. Have you ever had to set tough boundaries with family over your kids? What would you do in this mom’s shoes? Share your stories below!

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