AITA for telling my parents the people they’re marrying won’t ever be my parents?

Navigating blended families can be one of the trickiest challenges, especially when emotions run high and old wounds haven’t healed. In this case, a 17-year-old young man reflects on his parents’ messy divorce and the toxic environment he endured growing up. With his parents now both engaged and bringing new partners into the picture, he feels cornered into accepting these new figures as part of his life—even though he never felt at home with either of his original parents.

With his 18th birthday fast approaching, he’s already made plans to leave and live with a best friend’s family, distancing himself from the constant bickering and unsolicited parenting attempts by his parents’ new partners. His outburst, stating that the people his parents are marrying will never be his parents, has sparked more family conflict. Now he’s questioning if he overstepped or if he’s simply standing up for his independence and emotional well-being.

‘AITA for telling my parents the people they’re marrying won’t ever be my parents?’

Family therapists emphasize that forced inclusion and imposed relationships can leave lasting emotional scars, especially during formative years. Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “When a child is compelled to engage with non-biological family members against their will, it can create deep feelings of rejection and low self-worth that persist well into adulthood.”

In this case, the OP’s frustration isn’t merely about being included in family events—it’s rooted in years of feeling like an unwanted burden and being forced into roles that were never her choice. Dr. Markham further notes that healthy relationships develop organically when each connection is nurtured naturally.

“Genuine bonds are built on mutual respect and willingness, not on court orders or parental insistence,” she adds. When parents impose relationships, it often backfires by sowing seeds of resentment that hinder the formation of true emotional connections. She recommends that families experiencing such dynamics seek professional mediation or therapy, which can provide a neutral space for all parties to voice their feelings and negotiate boundaries.

Moreover, Dr. Markham stresses the importance of clear communication in re-establishing trust. “It’s critical for parents to understand that their well-intended actions, if imposed forcefully, can lead to long-term emotional disconnect. Open dialogue where everyone’s feelings are acknowledged can help mend these wounds,” she explains.

In this situation, the OP’s decision to confront her mother is a bold step towards asserting her identity and protecting her emotional well-being. Her call for authentic, voluntary relationships—rather than those forced upon her—reflects a deep need for healing and genuine connection, a goal that many families strive for but sometimes struggle to achieve.

Check out how the community responded:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and supportive. Many commenters applauded his decision to stand up for his own emotional needs, with one saying, “You’re a smart young man; you deserve to have a space where you truly feel at home.” Others noted that it’s not fair for his parents to expect him to embrace their new partners as parental figures simply because they are trying to create a blended family.

Numerous users agreed that his reaction is completely justified, especially given the history of toxic dynamics he has experienced, and that he should continue with his exit strategy to seek a healthier environment.

In conclusion, this story highlights the complexities of blended families and the importance of personal boundaries, especially for someone who has grown up in a toxic environment. Is it too harsh to set clear limits on who gets to be a part of your emotional world, or is it a necessary step towards healing and independence?

As you reflect on this account, consider your own experiences: Have you ever had to assert your independence against well-meaning but overbearing family members? Share your thoughts and experiences—your perspective could help others facing similar struggles.