AITA for telling my parents that I make more than both my siblings when they told me to get a real job?

The phone call started innocently enough, but when a young woman’s parents scoffed at her job as a nanny for special needs kids, calling it “not real,” the gloves came off. Earning $120,000 a year, living rent-free, and driving a car provided by her employers, she fired back, revealing she outearns her “respectable” siblings. The line went dead, and her siblings texted, stung by the comparison. Now, family ties are frayed, and she’s left wondering if she crossed a line.

This Reddit saga serves up a juicy clash of pride, prejudice, and paychecks. It’s a story of standing up for your worth while navigating family expectations that sting. Can a daughter’s success bridge the gap with parents who don’t get it? Let’s dive into the post and unpack what it means to demand respect for the work you love.

‘AITA for telling my parents that I make more than both my siblings when they told me to get a real job?’

I'm a nanny to 2 special needs kids. There's a very high demand for nannies for special needs kids because 3 special needs daycares in my county shut down, so I make approximately $120,000 a year and live in the family's guesthouse rent-free and they bought me a car so I can drive the kids around.

My parents have the belief that any job in childcare isn't a real job. They went so far as to call my aunt (she majored in child development) and had her tell me how broke she is when I said I wanted to major in early childhood education, then they told me I could either pick an 'acceptable' major or they wouldn't pay for my college.

I cut contact with them for a while in college and we recently started talking again. I've been in contact with my siblings, though. My parents recently asked about my job and education and were not happy when I said I'm a nanny and have my masters in special education.

They made a comment that I'm working the same job that I've had since I was 15 and how I'll be broke forever then told me to get a real job like my brother (accountant) and sister (nurse). I was pissed and told my parents that I make more than both my brother and sister and I don't have to pay rent,

for car payments, or for gas. They hung up and I got a text from my sister saying I made her look bad to our parents. My brother said I should've just kept my mouth shut.. AITA for telling my parents how much I make?

Nothing stings quite like family dismissing your life’s work. The parents’ insistence that nannying isn’t a “real job” reflects outdated biases about childcare, especially for special needs children, which demands skill and emotional labor. Dr. Ellen Galinsky, a child development expert, notes, “Caregiving professions are often undervalued, yet they’re critical to society’s fabric” (Families and Work Institute). The nanny’s $120,000 salary and benefits rival many “traditional” careers, proving her field’s worth.

The parents’ pressure to choose an “acceptable” major reveals a deeper issue: rigid expectations that pit siblings against each other. A 2023 study in Journal of Family Issues found that parental favoritism based on career paths can strain sibling bonds (SAGE Journals). By dragging her siblings into the argument, the nanny inadvertently fueled tension, though her frustration was justified. Her parents’ refusal to celebrate her success suggests envy or discomfort with her unconventional path.

This story highlights a broader societal issue: undervaluing care-based professions. Childcare workers, especially for special needs children, fill critical gaps, yet face stigma. The parents could learn from their daughter’s passion and success, which align with rising demand—U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics projects a 6% growth in childcare jobs by 2032 (BLS). Her siblings’ reactions, while understandable, reflect the family’s competitive dynamic, not her intent to harm.

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To move forward, the nanny could apologize to her siblings for the unintended slight, framing it as a defense of her career, not a jab at theirs. Family therapy could help address the parents’ biases and foster mutual respect. She should continue advocating for her profession’s value, perhaps inviting her family to see her work in action. Open dialogue, rooted in empathy, could turn this clash into a chance for growth.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit gang brought their A-game, serving up cheers and some sharp takes. Here’s what they had to say:

HourlyAlbert − NTA- sounds like your parents needed a reality check and you delivered.

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Mr_Ham_Man80 − NTA. Your parents quite roundly are AHs. Honestly my jaw dropped when I saw $120k. I've been working for 20 years and that's a great living right there. Congratuations and well done to your good self. I can see why you dropped contact with your parents. Your siblings' responses really should just give them a reason to self reflect on why they haven't done the same, rather than throw shade on you.

Swegh_ − NTA - you’re an adult and they’re trying to control your choices. You’ve done well for yourself and they should be proud. But no, they refuse to accept that you’re doing what you want to do. You do make more than them and you have a pretty great setup for yourself as well. So you did nothing wrong by telling them the truth. it may be time to cut them out again because it seems they have no respect for you or your boundaries.

littlestbookstore − EDIT: Thanks for the silver, stranger! You are not an AH for defending yourself and your work. Your parents suck. You weren't exactly great by bringing your siblings into it, though. It doesn't sound like you had malicious intent, you were just trying to defend yourself when you were being compared to them, but your sister had a point, too. It's your parents who suck for pitting you and your siblings against each other.

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NTA, but you owe your siblings an apology. Then you should all put on a united front against your parents' s**tty judgmental attitude. ETA: Apology ≠ 'I was wrong.' In this sense, I meant apology as in 'I'm sorry that something I did indirectly ended up making you feel bad,'

not 'I was wrong.' I like to think that in the most loving productive relationships we have, we apologize not merely to take responsibility for our actions, but to acknowledge when someone has hurt feelings because of something we did unintentionally. I'm not saying OP was wrong. OP is NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA Your whole family has messed up priorities.

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Evil_Mel − NTA. Your parents were being disrespectful & you were trying to assure them that you were not 'broke'.

Egoteen − NTA. Your family sounds toxic, OP, I’m so sorry. You have a wonderful job that meaningful helps people in the world and you made a good living financially. If you enjoy your job, that’s all that matters.

X-ile226 − NTA: they're jealous. They aren't actual parents who are happy their kid landed a really good job. This isn't coming from a place of concern. They just can't grasp the reality you are young and found a really good paying gig early on in life. As long as you manage your money well and have a good plan in place just in case this gig doesn't work out long term than you have a very financially stable future ahead of you

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Your parents likely see you as taking the 'easy' path. They likely had to work far harder in their lives to get to a level of financial stability. They can't grapple with the reality that life dealt you a pretty good hand and you played it well.. They had do it the 'hard' way. Therefore you have to do it the 'hard' way too.. You should be commended for taking on a very very important responsibility in those kids lives.

I have a daughter. And I've had to struggle to make ends meet early in her life and while we're doing much better now I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way how to better manage my money. But I don't ever want my daughter to go through what I did.

If she played her cards right and landed a great paying job that also is a commendable profession to boot I'd be bragging about her at the bar. If she doesn't struggle early in her adult life like I did than I say mission accomplished. Any good parent wants better for their kids and clearly yours don't sadly....

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mandeert − Absolutely NTA and do not let these people make you think otherwise. You're doing such an important and amazing job, and when they disrespect you for it, you're allowed to tell them how well you're doing so they'll realise how uneducated they are.

[Reddit User] − INFO: how much are you making in relation to your parents? NTA btw... your job is challenging and very much needed and sounds like you’re doing pretty well.

These Redditors backed the nanny’s clapback but nudged her to smooth things over with her siblings. Are they spitting facts or just stirring the pot?

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This story is a masterclass in standing tall when family tries to shrink you. The nanny’s success shines bright, but her parents’ dismissal and her siblings’ hurt show how fast pride can fracture bonds. A little empathy and a lot of talk could mend this mess, proving love outranks paychecks. Have you ever had to defend your career to family? What would you do to bridge this gap? Share your thoughts below.

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