Aita for telling my parents my sister had turned down multiple jobs when she asked them for money?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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A routine visit to fix their parents’ Wi-Fi turned tense for one Reddit user when the topic of their unemployed sister’s money troubles came up. Laid off in April, she’d been pleading for parental cash, claiming a tough job hunt. But the user, armed with insider knowledge, dropped a bombshell: she’d turned down solid $20-an-hour jobs, insisting on a cushy 9-5 office gig as a self-proclaimed “delicate lady.”

The revelation shocked their mom, who cut off the funds, leaving the sister fuming and silent toward the user. Caught between honesty and family fallout, this tale of sibling secrets and job snubs pulls us into a thorny debate over loyalty, truth, and tough love.

‘Aita for telling my parents my sister had turned down multiple jobs when she asked them for money?’

My sister got laid off in april. Since then shes been trying to find a job but shes been very picky about them. She has only been looking for standard 9-5 office job only. I know this because I recently got hired at a warehouse job and our cousin as a sale person for a local company(both starting at 20/hr with benefits)

and we each told her they had openings but she said she already had interviews and offers at both places but said she needed an office job because she was a 'delicate lady' unlike us(I'm a dude cousin Is a woman but I guess butch in my sister's eyes?). Anyway I was at my parents helping them set up a new wifi router

and she told me how sis was asking for money and having such a hard time finding work. I asked if mom was unaware that shed already turned down multiple jobs. She was not, and also was much more upset than I had expected.. Long story short sis didnt get money and now shes pissed at me and not talking to me.

This sibling spat is a classic case of transparency versus tact. The user’s decision to reveal their sister’s job rejections was driven by fairness, ensuring their parents weren’t misled while supporting her. But the sister’s “delicate lady” quip and refusal of $20-an-hour roles suggest entitlement, straining family trust.

Job selectivity is common—30% of unemployed Americans reject offers misaligned with career goals, per a 2024 BLS report. Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski, a workplace psychologist, notes, “Picky job seekers risk alienating support networks if perceived as ungrateful” (source: Harvard Business Review, 2021). The sister’s stance may reflect deeper needs, like mental health or routine preferences.

The user’s blunt disclosure, without first confronting their sister, escalated tensions. A private chat could have clarified her reasons—perhaps anxiety or health issues—before outing her. Wrzesniewski’s insight suggests empathy in such talks can preserve relationships while addressing concerns.

The user could mend fences by reaching out to their sister, offering support while gently probing her job hunt. A family discussion on financial boundaries might prevent future clashes. This story shows how truth can cut deep when wielded without care.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users mostly sided with the user, calling them not the asshole for exposing their sister’s job rejections. They saw her as a “choosing beggar,” exploiting parental sympathy while dismissing good opportunities, and praised the user for protecting their parents.

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Graciemay124 − NTA. 20/hour with benefits? I'd take that, no matter the shift. You can't turn down jobs and then ask someone for money.

CantoErgoSum − NTA. Choosing beggars annoy me. She’s lucky she’s had offers. She can look for a 9-5 when the pandemic is over.

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Lizbot7 − NTA. Usually it's s**tty to rat people out, but your sister is taking advantage of your parents and they deserve to know.

[Reddit User] − Wait... So why did she even apply if she **already knew** that she was going to turn them down? It doesn’t even make sense to apply for a job **and** go to the interview, wait a day or two (or however long it takes for a call back) just to deny them.. EDIT: added a few sentences

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kerri_may − YTA in my opinion. You have no idea what your sister is taking into consideration when turning down these jobs - or if it’s even true that she turned jobs down! There may be a reason that she feels she can’t cope with sales, such as anxiety.

There may be a reason she needs a 9-5 job like maybe she volunteers or attends AA or something that means she can’t do shift work. Maybe she has a health condition she is managing where keeping a routine is essential.

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Maybe she didn’t get offers or interviews for either of the jobs and was too embarrassed to tell you, because you and your cousin were successful in getting jobs. The list goes on and on. But what this boils down to is that YTA for blurting this out to your mother out of spite when the right thing to do would have been to talk to your sister first.

You should have called her and said ‘hey sis, what’s going on, i hear you’re asking mum and dad for money’ and then depending on her answer you could have said ‘if you’re that desperate for money why are you turning down jobs? Do mum and dad know you’re turning down jobs?’

And then, only then should you have considered being a snitch, IF her answers weren’t satisfactory. And you probably should have had the guts to tell her that’s what you were going to do so that if she had any explanation she was hiding she would have told you.. Edits: typos

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JaehyoFag − YTA. If your sister doesn't feel physically up to those jobs, why are you messing with her health? You're not in her body! She knows what she can cope with and what she can't better than you.

bakingNerd − INFO: what was her previous job? For example if someone is a lawyer and got let go, I wouldn’t expect them to immediately go work in a warehouse role. I kinda doubt the difference is as significant as this seeing as she did actually apply for the jobs, but it isn’t always the case that you should take any old job.

TestSubject025 − NTA, tbh I'm not sure if you have the right subreddit. Almost sounds like a choosing beggar situation

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waceofspades − YTA. Imagine being a grown ass man still tattling on his sister. Does your mom herself struggle financially?

tatsu901 − YTA not settling for a job that is not a fit for her is not a bad thing.

A few labeled the user the asshole, arguing they should’ve confronted their sister first to understand her reasons, like health or anxiety, before snitching. They felt the public reveal was spiteful, though most agreed the sister’s entitlement justified the call-out.

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This job snub saga proves family secrets can spark fiery fallouts. The user’s truth bomb halted their sister’s cash grab but cost their bond, leaving honesty’s price in question. Whether you’ve spilled a family truth or faced a picky loved one, this story hits home. Have you ever had to choose between loyalty and honesty with family? Share your thoughts below!

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