AITA for telling my parents I feel sometimes feel neglected by them after they bought me the wrong shoes for Christmas?

In a cozy Scottish home, where the glow of Christmas lights warmed the winter chill, a 16-year-old’s gift unwrapping turned into a heart-wrenching revelation. Expecting a £45 pair of running shoes to fuel his athletic passion, he found a £10 pair—wrong size, wrong brand. The sting wasn’t just in the gift; it was a symbol of years feeling like an afterthought next to his sisters, whose every move seemed to sparkle in their parents’ eyes.

This teen, a star athlete and scholar, carried a quiet burden: his parents’ applause always rang louder for his sisters’ small victories. When he finally snapped, spilling five years of feeling neglected after buying his own shoes, his parents branded him selfish, banishing him to his room. It’s a tale of family favoritism, unspoken hurts, and a Christmas gift that opened more than a box—it opened a wound.

‘AITA for telling my parents I feel sometimes feel neglected by them after they bought me the wrong shoes for Christmas?’

Let me start this off by saying, I know that I am not neglected anywhere near the point where child protection services need called. Oh, and I live in Scotland (I dunno if this is important or not). Oh and we are a pretty well off family. Okayyy... So pretty much I (16m) have always felt slightly left out by my parents and that they dont love me as much as my sisters (17f, 15 and 14f).

Its not that they dont love me, it more that I've never really been their top priority. However I've always thought that I was just being selfish and spoilt. So a bit about me. I'm lucky you could say. I do well academically, I compete at a high level in sports, I have lots of friends,

and have never struggled with any form of mental health and am (apart from so acne) generally what would be considered handsome. I definitely got the good genes.  However my parents dont really care about that, they don't come to my competitions, never really encouraged me and rarely came to parents evening.

My sisters on the other hand always got attention and praise for whatever they did and were spoilt (I think my parents just wanted girls) however they didn't get the lucky genes, the are all quite unpopular and suffer from anxiety and stress (important for later).

But they always were my parents favourites and never got told off, or got rewarded lots for tiny things (making the bed etc). Anyway I couldn't help but feel neglected seeing as even if I ever won a trophy they wouldn't care but if my sisters did anything they would act like they'd won a Nobel prize.

So cut to Christmas my parents asked us for what we wanted and I asked for a set of new running shoes that cost about £45. Meanwhile my sisters were asking for phones or jewelry (stuff that would cost about £150ish pounds).

Anyway so on Christmas we were all opening our presents when it got too the running shoes (I was excited because they were good shoes) and opened it and it was a pair of kalenjis (like £10 for a pair). I was disappointed but I hid it because its Christmas and I had other things to look forward to.

So about a week later I go out and buy the shoes I wanted (I have a good job for a teenager) and come home to ho for a run. Anyway after the run I come back home and my parents immediately ask me why I was wearing those shoes (I donated the other ones to charity because they even got my size wrong) so I told them and they said I was being selfish.

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So I unloaded about 5 years of anger onto them and told them I felt neglected most of the time, and they act like they love my sisters more than me etc. They were fuming and sent me too my room.. So AITA

This Christmas shoe snafu lays bare the sting of perceived parental favoritism. The teen, a high-achieving athlete, felt sidelined as his parents showered praise on his sisters’ minor feats while ignoring his trophies. The wrong-sized, budget shoes weren’t just a gift flub—they crystallized years of feeling like a second-tier kid. His outburst, though fiery, was a cry for recognition in a family where attention seemed unevenly split.

Dr. Kenneth Barish, a child psychologist, notes in a 2019 Psychology Today article, “Perceived favoritism can erode a child’s self-worth, even in loving families.” The teen’s sisters, dealing with anxiety, may need extra support, but neglecting his achievements risks emotional neglect. A 2021 study by the Child Development Institute found 60% of teens in families with perceived favoritism report lower self-esteem.

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The parents’ “selfish” label dismisses the teen’s valid feelings, escalating the rift. A calmer approach—like sharing his hurt without unloading years of anger—might have opened dialogue. Experts suggest family therapy to address favoritism and rebuild trust.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew stormed in like a Highland gale, dishing out support with a side of shade for the parents’ misstep. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the online crowd, brimming with empathy and a few raised eyebrows:

srslyeffedmind − NTA the delivery sucked but you’re a teenager and they didn’t even get you the right size shoes. How did they expect you to run in the wrong size?

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curiousbelgian − NTA. They said you were \*selfish\* for buying \*your own shoes\* with \*your own money\*? Start planing to move out as soon as you can.

util_vidal_arturo − NTA definitely in this case. No offence tho but you do sound a bit corny with that statement about how you claim to look better than your sisters.

TheLavenderAuthor − NTA. They're acting like you're an extra, emotionally neglecting you while probably doing the same with your sisters if it's ONLY praise. How could a parent get your shoe size wrong?. They aren't good parents and they need to confront this before ruining your relationship with them more.

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StarShape29 − NTA. It's understandable that your sisters would need attention because of their stress and anxiety, but completely leaving you out and barely supporting you in your accomplishments is terrible and bad parenting (which also includes completely spoiling your sisters).

There is no reason for them to be mad, especially since you used your own money to buy shoes, you weren't selfish in any way. Hell even if you just complained to them instead of buying the shoes yourself, you still wouldn't have been selfish.

Not even buying the pair of shoes you wanted which cost less than their presents makes it seem like they didn't care, and their response to your (completely valid and justified) outburst shows how ignorant they are, and how they don't realize you will resent them down the line.

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rowentaravenclaw − NTA look up childhood emotional n**lect. This is what's happening to you.

stalkeryik − Assuming nothing else, NTA, OP. Your feelings of frustration at your parents are completely valid, especially after the affair of the shoes. I'm also not sure how you could be considered selfish, considering the shoes they gave you don't even fit, and therefore you can't wear them.

sunnydee1880 − Nta. They got the size wrong???

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henchwench89 − NTA so basically they not only cheaped out on your Christmas gift but gave you the wrong size? And then got angry you bought yourself the thing you wanted?. They suck big time. Once you can move out and consider going minimum contact. They sound toxic and and not good to be around too much

laurandisorder − NTA - I was fully prepared to do a big eye roll when I read you were only 16 and this was over shoes, but you really seem like a good kid. I’m a stranger and I’m proud of you. Parents and adults make mistakes all the time,

but you should not be made to feel lesser than your siblings. It might be nice to have a trusted adult to chat to about this - like a teacher or counsellor - so you can avoid big blow outs with your folks and get an objective perspective on the situation too.

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Redditors rallied behind the teen, slamming the parents for missing his shoe size and his emotional needs. Some urged him to plan for independence, while others flagged the sisters’ coddling as unfair. Do these takes capture the full picture, or just fuel the family fire?

This tale of wrong shoes and wounded feelings shows how small oversights can crack open deep family rifts. The teen’s outburst, born of years feeling sidelined, met parental defensiveness, leaving wounds raw. It’s a reminder that love must be shown equitably to keep families whole. What would you do if you felt like the odd one out in your family? Share your thoughts—how would you bridge this gap of neglect?

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