AITA for telling my mother to stop telling people the story behind my name?

In a bustling grocery store, a 15-year-old boy’s cheeks flushed as his mother, Alexandra, launched into her favorite tale: how she named him Alexander, expecting a girl but getting a surprise. It’s a story she’s spun to every new face—friends, strangers, even charity workers—despite his pleas to keep it private. Each retelling stings, painting him as a plot twist in her narrative, leaving him squirming under curious glances.

This isn’t just about a name; it’s about a teen craving respect for his boundaries. The weight of his mother’s words piles up, turning a quirky anecdote into a source of public humiliation. Readers might feel his frustration bubble over, wondering how far he’d go to make her hear him. When he finally snaps, the fallout ripples through their family, raising questions about who’s really in the wrong here.

‘AITA for telling my mother to stop telling people the story behind my name?’

I (15M) and my mother (39F) have similar names due to my mother naming me after her. I don't dislike my name at all. But the story behind it and how my mother constantly wants to tell it to the world is the problem. For backstory, I am her second child and for her first child, my older brother (20M) she wanted to know his gender, and she found out and named him.

For me however, she decided to keep it a surprise, however, she for some reason was confident that I would be female and was dead set on naming me after her. Her name is Alexandra, so she would have named me Alexandra as well (fake names). When I came out male, she simply named me Alexander (fake name).

However she would constantly tell everyone she befriended, if we were together, the story on how I was named. It embarrasses me to no end and I've told her over and over to please not tell that to every new friend her or I make. She even told all of my friends parents the story despite me asking her to not tell them (she wants to meet my friends parents for the first time if I want to sleep over for whatever reason).

This all boiled down to Thursday when my mother and I went to the grocery store and as we were leaving a duo of Charity workers came up to us to ask us if we were willing to donate to their cause. My mother being the social butterfly she, sparked up a conversation with them.

As the two introduced themselves to us, my mother followed suit and, of course, told them the story I dreaded she would.

The car ride home was silent and when we got home she told me that I really embarrassed her back at the store and that I should have told her something after we got in the car that I didn't like her telling that story.

I've said to her that I've told her repeatedly that I don't like her telling everyone with a pulse that she befriends that story and that I got fed up with her blatantly ignoring me and my request to stop.. She just told me to go to my room and to not come out. She of course told everyone in my family what I did and my stepdad and grandparents said I shouldn't have embarrassed her like that and to apologize to her.

My brother and best friend told me I was right to call her out since I've told her many times to stop embarrassing me with that story and that she needed to learn what I felt. I do feel bad and want to apologize and talk to her, but at the same time I still feel like I'm right and that she needed to feel what I feel.. So AITA?

Telling a child’s story to strangers can feel like a harmless quirk, but for this teen, it’s a spotlight he never asked for. His mother’s habit of sharing the naming tale ignores his growing need for autonomy, creating a tug-of-war between her social butterfly instincts and his plea for boundaries.

The conflict here is classic: a parent’s pride versus a teen’s identity. Alexandra likely sees the story as a charming icebreaker, a way to connect. But for Alexander, it’s a repetitive script that reduces him to a punchline. As clinical psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes in a 2019 Psychology Today article, “Respecting a child’s emotional boundaries fosters trust and self-esteem”. Gottman’s insight suggests Alexandra’s oversight might chip away at her son’s confidence, even unintentionally.

This dynamic isn’t just personal—it reflects a broader issue of parental oversharing. A 2020 Pew Research study found 64% of parents share details about their kids online, often without consent. For teens like Alexander, this can feel like a betrayal, especially when it’s face-to-face with strangers. His public call-out, while impulsive, was a desperate bid to be heard.

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes open dialogue. Alexandra could rebuild trust by apologizing and agreeing to keep the story private. For Alexander, calmly explaining his feelings again—perhaps with a family mediator—might help. Readers, what do you think? How can they balance her storytelling with his comfort?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this mother-son showdown, and they don’t hold back! Here’s what the community had to say, served with a side of wit and wisdom:

OkeyDokey654 − NTA. It’s not even a good story. It’s not even a *story,* honestly.

PrincessCG − NTA. You’ve spoken to her about this before so she can’t say she’s unaware of your feelings about it. I guess maybe she wants to show off the fact you’re named after her but to do it to total strangers is a weird one. If it took calling her out publicly for her stop, then it was worth it. Ask her why she’s comfortable disregarding your feelings on the matter.

LightPhotographer − NTA When she embarrasses you and you have asked her to stop... this is the way. Fight fire with fire. Here is how this works: Every time she tells the story she gets a sweet smile out of people. This provides a gentle social dopamine kick. If she listened to you she would not get that kick. *She does not even think about it.

Telling the story is associated with a little dopamine kick.* Your telling her you don't like it does not register. The positive connection between story = positive feedback is a *direct* link in her brain. Your whining takes the long route of reason.. Solution: You associate the story with a negative feedback.. Example.

Every time she starts telling the story you interrupt, and tell the person:

She will not like it. But keep it up, and in her brain the wiring will change: From

Timely_Egg_6827 − NTA. Everytime your mother meets someone new, she tells them you are not what she wanted and that she wanted a girl. That has to hurt. And your father is worried about her feelings being hurt? Why is she embarrassed? Because she realised she was hurting you? But she had to reframe that in terms of herself.. I am so sorry.

Benjireddevil − NTA it's not even a cute story . at this point, by bringing it up all the time with no real prompt or opening for it , she is only doing it to embarrass you.

EnticingDan − NTA. Just start adding to it whenever she tells the story. “Yeah she couldn’t be bothered thinking up a new name when I wasn’t a girl.” Or “Thank god her name wasn’t Rebeca or Sarah or another female name that has no male version of it”. Or. “Yeah her father thought they were having a boy and chose a name and had to femalise it and I got the proper name”

Slight-Progress4414 − NTA. And it is probably not a good thing for her own sake to keep telling strangers that either. I can only speak for myself but if someone I barely knew followed up an introduction of their child with

artsyfartsyMinion − NTA. I know how you feel. I got my name from my older brothers leftovers. If he had been a girl, he would have been Peta Maddy. As he was a boy, he ended up Peter Mathew. I ended up with Maddy, no second name. Whenever my dad introduced me, he would say this is Maddy she is our baby, we ran out of names, so she is just Maddy.

I told him numerous time to not say anything, but he kept doing it. I ended up just walking off mid introduction. It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s before he stopped, and that was because I told him to f@ck off mid introduction to his new boss. We had a similar blow-up that you are having now. Took my eldest sister to explain it to him before he got it. But then he was a narcissistic AH.

Flimsy_Fee8449 − Question: why does it embarrass you, *other* than because you're 15? (15-year old you will get embarrassed about stuff and 25 year old you will have zero idea why. Lots of hormonal angst can be avoided if you can tell the difference).

SnarkyQuibbler − Every time she tells the story ask her if she's worried that the story makes her sound like a narcissist. You're worried about what people are going to think about her. If she thinks she's embarrassing herself rather than you maybe she'll stop.

These Redditors brought the heat, but do their verdicts hold up in real life? Or are they just cheering for the underdog?

This grocery store clash leaves us wondering: where’s the line between a parent’s pride and a teen’s privacy? Alexander’s outburst might’ve been awkward, but it screamed a truth his mother kept ignoring. Maybe it’s time for a heart-to-heart, minus the charity workers. What would you do if you were stuck in his shoes—grit your teeth or call it out? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this family tangle together!

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