AITA for telling my mother that I wouldn’t have been late to school if I wasn’t so busy being a parent?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The kitchen clock ticks past 7 a.m., and the air smells of burnt toast as a 16-year-old boy scrambles to pack his brother’s lunch while shooing the cat off the counter. He’s already late for school, his backpack slung over one shoulder, keys jangling in hand. This isn’t just a hectic morning—it’s his daily grind, a whirlwind of chores and caregiving that leaves him breathless. Caught between being a teen and a makeshift parent, he’s stretched thin, and a heated clash with his overworked mother reveals the cracks in their family’s fragile balance.

Readers can’t help but feel the weight of his frustration, wondering how a high schooler juggles so much while his education takes a hit. The story raises questions about fairness, responsibility, and the unspoken burdens teens sometimes carry. What happens when a kid becomes the family’s backbone?

‘AITA for telling my mother that I wouldn’t have been late to school if I wasn’t so busy being a parent?’

I (16M) live with my sister (20F), my mother (40sF), my grandfather (70sM), my younger brother (12M) and my cat. My mother works as a veterinarian so she's the main breadwinner of the house, which I really appreciate of her. I work as a fast food place and have found myself absolutely swamped with things.

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I have school and work, I am in charge of breakfast and dinner, in charge of grocery shopping and making sure the house is clean and the laundry is done. I am frequently late for school because I have to drive my brother to school, and sometimes have to leave early for work.

My mother is so exhausted by the time she gets home from work that she just either goes to sleep or plays her Sims game. My sister is a college student so she doesn't have a lot of time to do anything. But I'm just so frustrated that I have to care for my younger brother and half senile grandfather and the cat while juggling everything else.

I was late for school today and the school called my mother, who was expectedly pissed at me. We began to argue because she expected better than this and I told her that if I wasn't so busy being a parent, then I wouldn't have been late for school.

I struck a nerve and she looked close to tears and told me that I have to learn how to be an adult somehow and she's just trying to teach me responsibility and that I was acting like a child, which made me feel really bad. She works really hard and I feel like what I said was maybe out of line.

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This teen’s tale of being thrust into a parental role is a stark reminder of how family dynamics can blur boundaries. The Reddit user, juggling school, work, and caregiving, is caught in a cycle of overwhelm, while his mother, a veterinarian, leans heavily on him to keep the household afloat. Both sides have valid struggles—she’s exhausted from a demanding job, and he’s drowning in responsibilities no 16-year-old should fully bear. The tension lies in their clashing expectations: she sees it as teaching “responsibility,” while he feels like an unpaid nanny.

This situation reflects a broader issue of “parentification,” where children take on adult roles, often at the cost of their own development. According to a 2023 study in Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com), parentified kids face higher risks of anxiety and burnout. Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes, “When children are tasked with adult responsibilities, it can erode their sense of safety and hinder their emotional growth.” In this case, the teen’s school tardiness signals a deeper issue—his education is suffering under the weight of household duties.

To address this, the family needs a reset. The mother could delegate tasks to the 20-year-old sister or explore community resources, like after-school programs for the younger brother. Open communication is key: a family meeting could redistribute chores fairly, ensuring the teen has time for school and self-care. Seeking a counselor’s guidance might also help navigate these strained dynamics without judgment.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this family drama, served with a side of humor and blunt honesty. Here’s what the community had to say, raw and unfiltered.

AtomsFromTheStars − NTA. She is not teaching you a damn thing by placing all of HER responsibilities on you. Can you clean up around the house, help out, and work a simple part-time job? Yep! But, sibling, home, and family care are NOT your job. Your job is school.

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If your education is being impacted, you have to do something about it. Talk to a close family member or a counselor at school. Yes, her job is stressful but she is shifting everything else on to you and it’s just wrong. The only thing she is teaching you is anxiety and a sense of helplessness.

AmethysstFire − NTA.. that I was acting like a child, You ***are*** a child still. She needs to step up and take beck her responsibility for you, your brother, and Gramps, not dump it all on you.

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AITAPS5- − NTA I don't want to be too harsh, since this is just a really awful situation and your mother is a single parent taking care of an entire family, but you're 16 years old with a job and school. You have to focus on your own life, but you can't if you're essentially taking care of the entire household. Your mother needs to give some tasks to your sister or get some outside help.

What's her plan when you graduate? Is she gonna make you go to a college that's close by so you never leave? I'm sorry, but no. Your mom is absolutely wrong here. And your sister needs to step up as well. Doesn't matter how busy she is, if she's living under that roof, she needs to pull her own weight. You, your mom, and sister need to have a serious sit down and talk.

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worryaboutYOUhoe − NTA. She cried because she didn’t like having to confront that reality.

Maleficent_Ad_3958 − I think you're NTA but also INFO: Where's your dad? Also your siblings shouldn't get away with doing nothing. As for your grandfather, is he really having problems because depending on his condition, he might either need to be put into a home or a caretaker.

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I'd STRONGLY push back on the stupid responsibility nonsense. Tell her you ARE a child. You didn't give birth to your brother and you're not the family's g**damn cook/maid. Tell her that the others need to do their share because you're not going to do theirs. I'm going to give you some advice.

Do only your own laundry. Do NOT do anybody else's laundry. Seriously, they can do it. Why do they need breakfast? They can pour milk and cereal into their own bowls. Why clean anywhere else but your room and whatever utensils you use? As for dinner, college students can cook and your brother can help.

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lockmama − Why can't your brother take the damn school bus? Is he too precious?

__OHKO__ − NTA. Not sure what hours your mom is working, and I don't doubt she's tired. But from what I remember from high school, it can be an all-day affair. Got school from 8-3:30, homework, studying. Add work on top of that and it can be a bit much.

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It definitely sounds like some people are working harder than others... The work could be distributed a lot better. You, your mom, and your sister could take turns getting the groceries. Your brother could help with keeping the house clean. Everyone could do their own laundry. Etc.

Xoinkaera − NTA.. You’re working, going to school, caring for your grandfather and your brother?. I’m a full fledged adult and I’m exhausted thinking about that. Same time, your mom is working to support 3 kids and her father on one income in a high stress career that is often underpaid. She’s putting too much on you, but sounds like she also has a full plate.

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I was tempted to say “NAH”, but if you aren’t exaggerating- you’re doing literally all of the things. (Dinner, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc). That’s way, way, way too much to put on one person, especially a kid who is supposed to be in school. You were in the right here. Responsibility is one thing, but treating your school aged daughter as a single mother is not the way to teach you to be an adult.

Thia-M3762 − You aren't acting 'like a child'. You ae acting like a 16 year old who has been turned into a parent against their will. NTA and keep fighting against this. Remind your mother that your brother is HER child and her child to deal with. You need to focus on school.

Cherrygrove-elk − Wow you sound like the nanny, housekeeper, chauffeur and father all in one. Tell your mom something has to give and she needs to step up. None of these should be your responsibility except maybe a few chores. NTA

These are the hot opinions from Reddit, but do they hit the mark? Some call for rebellion, others for compromise—yet the real question is whether this family can find balance before the teen burns out.

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This story pulls at the heartstrings, showing a teen caught in a tug-of-war between duty and his own future. It’s a reminder that family is a team effort, not a one-kid show. What would you do if you were in his shoes—juggling school, work, and parenting duties? Share your thoughts, experiences, or advice below. How can families fairly share the load without leaving anyone behind?

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