AITA for telling my mother and sister to have their own babies and leave mine alone?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a young mom, juggling work and diapers, only to face a barrage of unsolicited advice from her own family. In a heated moment, she snaps, telling her mom and sister to “have their own babies” and leave hers alone. The room freezes, and the fallout begins—blocked calls, angry texts, and a dad pleading for peace. This Reddit gem captures the raw tension of a new mom guarding her parenting turf against overzealous relatives.

It’s a tale that hits home for anyone who’s felt smothered by family “help.” The OP’s sharp words stirred a hornet’s nest, but they also shine a light on a universal struggle: setting boundaries when love feels like control. With Reddit rallying behind her, this story invites us to laugh, wince, and wonder—when does family input cross the line?

‘AITA for telling my mother and sister to have their own babies and leave mine alone?’

I (24f) had a baby last year. I am handling the childcare, I'm working, it's all going fine. But, my mum (49f) and older sister (27f) object to my parenting choices. I tell them to leave it alone whenever it comes up, but every time they stop arguing with me about one choice I make, they start on another.

We had an argument the other day about my latest choice, and at the end of the argument when they said they're just trying to do what's best for the baby, I told them that they get to decide that when they have babies, so get their own and leave mine alone.

Neither of them have reproductive issues, aside from mum being a little older and my sister being newly single (ended a 2.5 year relationship in December), and I only said what I said to make a point, but mum blocked me and my sister has been messaging me to call me an arsehole because they just want what's best for the baby and were only trying to help.

Dad has also been messaging, asking me to apologise to them as I've put them both in foul moods, and said that my comment about them having their own babies was insensitive as I know neither of them are able to have babies right now,

and that they just wanted to be included in the first baby born in our family since my little brother (22m). I've said I'm not apologising because I've told them to leave off before now, and I meant the 'get your own' thing as a joke, but dad says my comment was insensitive, both to my newly single sister and pre-menopausal mum, so I need to make it right with a sincere apology.. AITA?

Info: Issues we've argued about are: the name (they think it's too 'hipster'), my choice of nursery, there was a whole thing about breastmilk vs formula, and how the home nursery should be set up (crib in my room or separate room). The one most recent argument, where I told them to get their own babies, was about me planning on signing my child up for swim classes that include ISR Self Rescue. The medical choices were all run past, and approved by, the GP.

Telling family to butt out of parenting is like waving a red flag at a family reunion—bold but bound to ruffle feathers. The OP’s frustration with her mom and sister’s relentless critiques is relatable; their “we’re just helping” excuse masks a deeper need for control. Her quip about getting their own babies was sharp but a cry for autonomy.

Meddling in parenting isn’t just annoying—it’s common. A 2022 Pew Research study found 62% of new parents face unsolicited advice, often straining family ties (source). Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family therapist, notes, “Over-involved relatives often project their own desires onto a child, undermining the parent’s confidence” (source). The OP’s choices, vetted by her GP, were hers to make, not her family’s.

The “insensitive” label from her dad ignores the context: OP asked them to stop repeatedly. Dr. Lerner suggests, “Set clear boundaries with empathy—acknowledge their care but affirm your role.” OP could apologize for the phrasing while reinforcing her stance: “I value your love, but I’m the parent.”

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit came in hot, dishing out support with a side of sass. From calling the family’s meddling out of bounds to cheering OP’s backbone, the comments are a lively rally cry. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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TheBaney - NTA, your baby isn't a public good. You are the mother, and your decisions aren't up for democratic debate. They're both adults, you aren't responsible for compromising on your role as your child's mother in order to keep them happy.. This isn't 'the family's baby,' this is *your* baby. They don't get a say.

mikey_weasel - NTA ~~So my big assumption here is that you aren't doing anything to endanger the health or growth of your baby.~~ Edit: see below If that's the case then they really need to respect your parenting choices if they want to be part of your baby's life. They can come to you with *respectful suggestions* but need to understand that the buck stops with you.

valerian_spiel - NTA. Your dad selfishly wants you apologize not because it's warranted, but because your mother makes him miserable when she doesn't get her way.. Stand your ground, OP. Your do *not* owe anyone an apology.

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SonuvaGunderson - NTA. It’s YOUR baby. Simple as that.

sovngrde - NTA. Unless you’re hurting your baby, neglecting it, or putting it in danger, there is no “doing what’s best.” You’re the mother and you choose what is best. You know better than anyone what’s best for your baby. Your mom and sister seem jealous and petty and they need to but out. You keep doing you, girl.

darklinghate - Nta. Your family needs to back off and leave you alone to raise your baby. They don't get to dictate what you do with your child. As long as it's healthy well fed and you're not abusing or neglecting it everything else is semantics. Tell them to mind their own business and I'd you want their opinion you'll ask for it. They sound toxic and controlling. Hopefully you have your own place away from them both?

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RandomCPAfromMN - I N F O - what is the choice you were talking about?. Formula vs b**ast feeding would be N T A. Car seat vs no car seat would be Y T A ETA: NTA - these are legit decisions that have no bearing on the health and safety of your kid. They need to b**t out. Talking about the topics is ok to a point, but when it gets to the point where you ask them to stop then they need to stop.

MrM0on - NTA When my eldest child was born and the first grandchild for my folks, my mum insisted on calling my child by a name of her choice. This went on for about a week before I sternly told my mum stop. I endured silent treatment which then turned into being a bit off with me for a couple of weeks.

sarahhelen2 - NTA. None of the choices you mentioned in the edit are things that justify them interfering. If you had decided against using an approved car seat or something actually bad, then by all means step in, but they have no right to interfere or have a say on basic parenting choices. They are aunty and grandma not mum or dad. They are way over stepping their role

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[Reddit User] - NTA 'I apologize for the comment, I will not apologize for putting up boundaries around my baby and how I raise them. My child is not public property'

These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they capture the heart of the issue or just fuel the family drama?

This parenting showdown is a masterclass in standing your ground, even when family ties get tangled. The OP’s sharp retort may have stung, but it was a desperate bid for respect as a mom. With a baby’s well-being at stake, her story reminds us that love shouldn’t mean control. Have you ever had to push back against family overreach? What would you do to keep the peace without losing your voice? Share your thoughts below!

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