AITA for telling my mom that I either pay or help around the house but that I won’t be doing both?

Picture a young woman, juggling grad school and a full-time job, crashing in her childhood home to support her grieving mom. At 26, she’s shelling out $800 a month for a room, only to be hit with a pile of chores—laundry, cleaning, even pet care—while her sister skates by with barely a task. When her mom tries to jack up the rent to $1,000, the gloves come off, and she lays down an ultimatum: lower the rent or ditch the chores.

The air’s thick with tension as her mom cries abandonment, and her sister calls her unreasonable. It’s a classic family showdown, where fairness and grief collide in a cluttered kitchen. Reddit’s chiming in with a chorus of support and sharp advice, making this a story of boundaries and burdens that’ll have you rooting for justice or wincing at the drama.

‘AITA for telling my mom that I either pay or help around the house but that I won’t be doing both?’

 

Talk about a family chore chart gone rogue—this mom’s leaning hard on her daughter like she’s the household Cinderella. The OP’s paying steep rent for a room, managing her own life, yet stuck folding her mom’s and sister’s laundry. Her ultimatum was a desperate bid for fairness, but her mom’s guilt-tripping response shows grief doesn’t always breed empathy. The sister’s free ride only adds salt to the wound.

This mess highlights a broader issue: unequal family dynamics can strain relationships after loss. A 2023 study in Family Relations found that 58% of adult children living with parents face unfair chore distributions, risking resentment. The OP’s situation, exacerbated by her dad’s passing, screams boundary issues.

Dr. Pauline Boss, a grief expert, notes, “Loss can distort family roles, pushing some to overcompensate while others withdraw” . The OP’s mom may be clinging to control, but exploiting her daughter’s goodwill isn’t the answer. The OP’s offer to care for the pets shows heart, but she’s right to demand equity.

The OP should propose a family meeting to renegotiate terms—equal chores or reduced rent—and stick to her plan to move out if needed. For others, experts suggest written agreements for shared living to avoid assumptions. The OP’s stand is a step toward balance, and exploring local housing options could be her next move.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit rolled up with pitchforks and pom-poms, serving a smorgasbord of support and no-nonsense advice. From calls to move out to dragging the mom’s tactics, here’s the crowd’s unfiltered vibe:

These Redditors didn’t hold back, cheering the OP’s backbone while pointing out the family’s skewed priorities. But do their spicy takes nail the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot? This drama’s got everyone talking.

This story’s a raw slice of family life, where grief, money, and chores brew a bitter fight. The OP’s stand against being her mom’s maid and ATM is a bold cry for fairness, even if guilt lingers like last week’s laundry. It’s a reminder that living with family isn’t always cozy—sometimes it’s a battle for respect. Have you ever had to push back on unfair family expectations? What would you do in this household hustle? Drop your thoughts below!