AITA for telling my mom she’s never getting a loan off me again after she didn’t to pay me back meaning I can’t get my tattoo?

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In a cozy suburban home, an 18-year-old woman eagerly plans to complete her tattoo sleeve, a vibrant canvas of ink she’s been building since before the world hit pause with lockdowns. Her excitement, though, is derailed by a broken promise: her mom, strapped for cash, borrowed €300 for her brothers’ birthday gift and failed to repay it, leaving her to cancel her tattoo appointment and lose her deposit. Frustration boils over as she draws a line—no more loans.

This Reddit post paints a vivid picture of family obligations clashing with personal dreams. The poster’s decision to cut off her mom’s borrowing sparks a family debate, with her parents and siblings calling her selfish. Reddit, however, has her back, questioning why a teen’s savings should fund her parents’ choices. Let’s dive into this inky drama of trust, boundaries, and family ties.

‘AITA for telling my mom she’s never getting a loan off me again after she didn’t to pay me back meaning I can’t get my tattoo?’

I'm 18f, I live at home with my mom and stepdad and two younger twin brothers. I was due to get a tattoo on Tuesday and another one on the 13th (the shop I go to does really cool deals ever Friday the 13th).

The tattoo I was going to be getting on Tuesday was to finish a sleeve that was started before the first lockdown in my country. I'm sick of walking around with an unfinished tattoo (very obviously unfinished) and I'm terrified we'll go into another lockdown and I'll have to wait even longer.

So my parents have a fairly s**t credit rating, meaning if they need a loan they need to borrow it off one of the kids, being me or my older siblings. It tends to be me they go to and normally they pay me back.

Last month, my mom borrowed €300 to get my brothers an outdoor jungle gym type thing for their birthday with the promise of paying me back last week. Last week rolled around and I haven't been paid back, when I asked she said she wouldn't be able to until September at the earliest.

I reminded her I have my tattoo booked and she said she'd try get me some of it back on Thursday. She didn't. This has really upset me because I now have to cancel my tattoo and lose my deposit and pay a cancellation fee seeing as its so close to the date I'm due to get inked.

I told my mom she's never getting a loan off me again unless she can prove she'll pay me back when she's meant to. I also informed my older siblings of what happened. Both older siblings, mom and stepdad think im being unreasonable and an a**hole because my parents can't get a bank loan. AITA?

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When a parent borrows from their teen to fund a non-essential gift, it’s like dipping into their kid’s piggy bank for a luxury latte—irresponsible and unfair. The poster’s frustration is justified: her mom’s failure to repay €300 not only derailed her tattoo plans but cost her a deposit and cancellation fee. This breach of trust, especially given her parents’ poor credit history, highlights a deeper issue: parents leaning on kids for financial fixes.

This dynamic is more common than it should be. A 2023 study by the National Financial Educators Council found that 65% of Gen Z feel pressured to financially support family, often at the expense of their own goals (Source). The poster’s situation, where her savings are treated as a family ATM, risks stunting her financial independence.

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Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist, notes, “When parents borrow from children without clear repayment plans, it can erode trust and create resentment” (Source). Here, the mom’s casual delay—pushing repayment to September—ignores the poster’s plans, treating her needs as secondary. The family’s backlash, calling her unreasonable, dismisses her right to set boundaries.

To move forward, the poster should hold firm on her no-loan stance, as Reddit suggests, and demand repayment for the loan plus fees, perhaps in writing to clarify expectations. Opening a separate bank account, as advised, can protect her savings (Source) . Talking to her siblings about shared boundaries might unify their stance.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit came in hot, dishing out support with a side of shade for the parents’ priorities. Here’s what they had to say:

whydibother − NTA you’re the child and they’re the parents,. not the other way around

DanielJacksonOfSG-1 − Nta, if tour going to be out of pocket hundreds of dollars a month, why not just pay rent to a landlord instead.

newaxcounr − NTA. borrowing money from your kids especially for unnecessary things is typically not a great move. you’re entitled to that money and using it for whatever you want. it sucks you had to miss out because of her.

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Proud_Spell_1711 − NTA. Borrowing money to cover rent, food, utilities or an emergency medical cost is one thing, but they should never borrow money to buy an entertainment item. That is really bad judgment on your parents part. You may opt to lend them money in the future for something a lot more urgent than a jungle gym. But never do so again unless it is a real emergency.

sneeky_seer − NTA, it’s not just that you can’t get your tattoo, you also lose money and it could potentially damage your relationship with the artist too… it also means the artist loses out on money. So because of her actions, you are out of pocket and so is someone else.

She should look into building her credit and if she can’t afford to buy a gift then she shouldn’t. She is getting her other kids used to the idea of expensive gifts even though they are funded by someone else.

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ImpressiveCollar5811 − NTA. Pretend you’re a bank. You made the bad loan, they didn’t pay you back, so you don’t do it again. It’s a bad investment. They proved they’re untrustworthy. What they’re doing is stealing from you.

llamavoort − NTA but maybe don't loan money that you know you're gonna need down the line

ComfortableAnimal387 − NTA. Not only did your parents not live up to their end of your agreement, you had to ask them rather than them keeping you in the loop. You're now out even more because you had to forfeit a deposit. In my opinion, they owe you for the deposit as well since that was part of your agreement.

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winnie_the_grizzly − Oof, OP, I am so sorry. NTA in the slightest. Your mom incurred a debt, did not repay it on the agreed terms, and screwed you over in the process. And for a non-essential item at that! That you don't want to lend her more money is a sign you have a good head on your shoulders, not that you're a selfish ahole.

I'm sorry your older siblings aren't looking out for you. Before you internalize anything they tell you, remember that it is in their best interest if mom & stepdad come to you instead of them for 'loans.' Please be supportive of your little brothers when your parents start asking them for money.

Until you're in a position to move out, it might be best to put your parents on an information diet about how much money you have on hand. Don't offer any information and if they directly ask, be politely vague, for example: 'you know, I'd have to check. I'm off to class now, bye!'

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I'd also recommend opening your own bank account at a different bank than your parents'. The more distance between them and your money, the better, especially if they're still on your bank account from when you were a minor.

If you're good at planning, then I'd even recommend putting your 'rainy day' savings in an online 'high yield' (right now interest rates are next to nothing) savings account. I included the good at planning part because you need to give yourself a few days to transfer funds from the online savings account to your regular bank account when you're ready to use that money.

If you can't instantly access your savings, then your parents won't be able to either. Finally, since your older siblings are being absolute shits to you, feel free to deflect your mom's requests onto them:

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'Sorry, I don't have it, but remember just last month JimBob said if you had asked him for money instead of me, he would have gladly shared it with you. I think he gets off of work at 6; you can try him then.'. It bear repeating: NTA

TreeShapedHeart − NTA. And your mom now owes you the money she borrowed plus the amount she cost you (your deposit and cancellation fee).

From slamming the mom’s irresponsibility to urging the poster to safeguard her money, these takes are a fiery mix. But do they fully grasp the messy balance of family loyalty and personal boundaries, or are they just cheering from the sidelines?

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This tale of a missed tattoo and a broken promise cuts deep into the tension between family expectations and personal goals. The poster’s stand—refusing future loans—asserts her right to protect her dreams, but her family’s backlash paints her as the villain. Her mom’s failure to repay isn’t just about €300; it’s about respect and trust. How would you navigate a family that expects your money while dismissing your plans? Share your thoughts—what’s the line between helping family and protecting your own future?

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